"never ever mean in spirit"

I can confidently say that I am currently my favorite version of myself

things are clicking in almost every way

this new version of me is bringing in new attention

romantic, platonic/professional

I feel more magnetic than ever

but the younger me is still buried deep

the self sabotage in me is still buried deep

I fight it daily but I’m on the right path

and I know beautiful things are going to happen if I stick the course

I know the inevitable bad will also happen

but I know how to deal with it now

I love the woman I am

I will also love the woman I will continue to grow into

she deserves it

A great year

Although I’ve suffered more loss

I’ve also met new people

Good people that will help transport me to the next version of myself

The version of myself that I was born to be

That I was meant to be

I’ve grown into myself this year. Finally.

I’ve waited years to feel the way I feel right now

I have people that look up to me now

I won’t let them down

And more importantly I won’t let myself down

I’ve laid the foundation

I built it for years, and it was hard

Extraordinarily hard, but I did it

And this year I did it without any substances

A year of sobriety (minus social drinking but I’ve never had a problem with alcohol)

I’m proud of myself

I love the people in my life right now

or if I’m put in better situations

better situations with new people and new opportunity

the void in me continues to grow

it doesn’t care

I could be having the time of my life

and still feel hollow

and I wonder if other people feel like this too

I would say when will I learn, but I have learned

I’ve had some amazing women love me, and care for me