Welcome to my hell- I mean... head

andrew likes to listen when neil talks about exy. he doesn’t care about the sport, but he really likes the sound of neil’s voice. so he listens. every now and then, he chimes in.

every time he does, neil smiles a little.

andrew likes the way it looks on his face.

Like what do you mean even Kevjean/Kerejean shippers lowkey think Kevin so deserves to be punished for. Checks notes. Escaping an extremely abusive situation after 10 years. That theyre willing to completely assassinate Jean's character to do it. Yes they have a fraught history but if theyve worked enough to be sleeping with each other I cannot imagine them being anything but careful and reverent with each other. Certainly not actively violent and mean.

People forget that Jean is hurting. He has only interacted with Kevin a few times since everything happened back in Evermore. The way he acts with Kevin is largely affected by that betrayal and no one can damn him for being more brash towards him.

This does not equate to Jean wanting harm or distress to come to Kevin. At most, Jean wants him to feel guilty because of course Kevin escaping had direct consequences for Jean.

Yes, Jean grew up in a violent environment and has partaken in violence himself but it was largely beaten into him as a survival mechanism rather than out of any intention. We see again & again that Jean is not an inherently violent person and especially as he's learning to heal, he leans back into his natural empathy more & more. He was hurt by Kevin leaving but he doesn't blame him for it either.

They both endured unimaginable pain and violence. They were each other's reprieve from that very violence and I doubt whilst being in a healthier environment, actively undergoing therapy and having more support than he's ever had before, would suddenly flip those dynamics on their heads.

To say that Jean would ever enjoy inflicting harm on Kevin or believing him to be deserving of such completely goes against Jean's character.

As you said, Jean was brutally raped. What happened, happened in a very violent manner even when he didn't 'fight it'. We know Grayson liked to bite, Jean mentions Grayson almost dislocating his arm and that he was resorted to crying so hard he almost threw up. I directly quote "He set out to hurt Jean as badly as he could that fourth night", followed by Jean describing Grayson's actions and even the way he spoke to Jean during it. This in particular leaves a bad taste in my mouth because the way Grayson spoke to him is the same way I've often seen this dynamic written before and if people don't believe he'd have a problem with speaking to Kevin in that kind of manner regardless of Kevin giving consent then I don't know what to say.

I'm not saying that Jean won't ever heal from those memories. Nor am I saying that he won't ever be able to take part in certain kinks as a result of his trauma, but I can't see any situation where Jean could get off on hurting Kevin through sex without it also hurting Jean in the process. If anything, these books are demonstrating the importance of Jean separating the behaviours in the nest from himself in order to heal. This applies to his sex life too. I truly think the means in which Jean heals best comes from the proof that he isn't like them.

But they would always protect each other and be there for the other one because they’re family.

But if you say something bad about one of them in front of the other, they would always defend each other.

But Neil loves Aarons Kids even if he doesn’t show it.

Kevin is Andrew's biggest fan. He has secret merch of him hidden in a box under his bed. The rest of the Foxes know about it and won't stop making fun of him for it. Kevin once asked Jeremy for Andrew's number, but Jeremy played the "players' privacy" card.

Everyone assumes Andrew hates Nathaniel, but actually, he finds him kind of funny. The way he's so rude and smart-mouthed, how cruel he seems for someone so short, and most of all, how angry he gets whenever he can't score against him. There's always defiance in Nathaniel's eyes whenever they meet, and maybe a glint of something more.

Nathaniel is a mess of conflicting emotions every time he sees Kevin on the court. He tries his best to look angry, resentful, to make Kevin feel guilty for abandoning Jean, for abandoning him. But in reality, he is overwhelmingly sorrowful. He painfully misses Kevin, but that's something he won't even admit to himself.

Kevin is full of grief. Every day, he wishes Nathaniel would play with him again. He tells himself it's all for the sake of the game. However, deep down, he knows he just wants Nathaniel by his side. He spends his days daydreaming about Nathaniel as a Fox, being a normal kid, tagging along to all the silly hangouts the Foxes have in their free time. He dreams about them being normal friends for once, and sometimes, even more than that.

Nathaniel knows everything about Andrew. It wasn't difficult to get all the information he needed, not when Kevin seemed so fond of him. Nathaniel needed to know why. After reading Andrew's file, he can't get him out of his mind. How can someone who has suffered that much end up somewhere so golden? Is it really possible to change that much? Would it be possible for him to escape the Nest and shine like that?