Welcome to my hell- I mean... head

FBI: sit on the chair

neil: it's not a chair

Jean. Happier?

No. Some people could argue Kevin is happier now that he is outside the Nest even if he is desperate to belong to someone again and can only cope with the loneliness by drowning himself in alcohol. Anyone could be happier. No. Jean is not happier. He is just happy."

from @hey-there-22's fic Just A Game

I'M SCREAMING!!!!!! please do yourselves a favor and READ THIS!!!

andrew likes to listen when neil talks about exy. he doesn’t care about the sport, but he really likes the sound of neil’s voice. so he listens. every now and then, he chimes in.

every time he does, neil smiles a little.

andrew likes the way it looks on his face.

Like what do you mean even Kevjean/Kerejean shippers lowkey think Kevin so deserves to be punished for. Checks notes. Escaping an extremely abusive situation after 10 years. That theyre willing to completely assassinate Jean's character to do it. Yes they have a fraught history but if theyve worked enough to be sleeping with each other I cannot imagine them being anything but careful and reverent with each other. Certainly not actively violent and mean.

People forget that Jean is hurting. He has only interacted with Kevin a few times since everything happened back in Evermore. The way he acts with Kevin is largely affected by that betrayal and no one can damn him for being more brash towards him.

This does not equate to Jean wanting harm or distress to come to Kevin. At most, Jean wants him to feel guilty because of course Kevin escaping had direct consequences for Jean.

Yes, Jean grew up in a violent environment and has partaken in violence himself but it was largely beaten into him as a survival mechanism rather than out of any intention. We see again & again that Jean is not an inherently violent person and especially as he's learning to heal, he leans back into his natural empathy more & more. He was hurt by Kevin leaving but he doesn't blame him for it either.

They both endured unimaginable pain and violence. They were each other's reprieve from that very violence and I doubt whilst being in a healthier environment, actively undergoing therapy and having more support than he's ever had before, would suddenly flip those dynamics on their heads.

To say that Jean would ever enjoy inflicting harm on Kevin or believing him to be deserving of such completely goes against Jean's character.

As you said, Jean was brutally raped. What happened, happened in a very violent manner even when he didn't 'fight it'. We know Grayson liked to bite, Jean mentions Grayson almost dislocating his arm and that he was resorted to crying so hard he almost threw up. I directly quote "He set out to hurt Jean as badly as he could that fourth night", followed by Jean describing Grayson's actions and even the way he spoke to Jean during it. This in particular leaves a bad taste in my mouth because the way Grayson spoke to him is the same way I've often seen this dynamic written before and if people don't believe he'd have a problem with speaking to Kevin in that kind of manner regardless of Kevin giving consent then I don't know what to say.

I'm not saying that Jean won't ever heal from those memories. Nor am I saying that he won't ever be able to take part in certain kinks as a result of his trauma, but I can't see any situation where Jean could get off on hurting Kevin through sex without it also hurting Jean in the process. If anything, these books are demonstrating the importance of Jean separating the behaviours in the nest from himself in order to heal. This applies to his sex life too. I truly think the means in which Jean heals best comes from the proof that he isn't like them.