i think it goes without saying but is still worth noting, my beef with booktok literature is 100% about the quality. i LOVE housewives reading weird porn. i wish they would do it more

when ever I start hearing the horns of the apocalypse I just say out loud to myself "the tumpet. bwaaa" and it makes me feel better every time

Good fiction makes you cry, great fiction makes you sick, the BEST fiction makes you realize you should quit your job

people who use the queue function fill a necessary role in the tumblr ecosystem. they keep posts alive. if u miss a post bc ur entire mutualcule was reblogging it from each other in a 30min span and u were offline, the queue mutual provides u an opportunity to see that post again in 1-8 business days. they put posts in stasis in little cryogenic freezers for u to discover and enjoy later. everyone thank their queue mutuals right now

aromantic but in that weird way that makes everyone uncomfortable

There’s nothing wrong with me I just think he would look really Cool and Tough and Strong if you chained him to the radiator

Ourgh

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

as a cis Butch lesbian there is truly nothing funnier than when cis women try to pretend like women's bathrooms and locker rooms are sacred safe spaces where everyone can decompress and feel comfortable

if my Butch ass walks into a women's bathroom that is full of what appears to be a bunch of cishet women, i promise i am not feeling the safety of sisterhood, i am feeling nothing but anxiety. my guard is UP.

by contrast, if i walk into a women's bathroom and see a bunch of trans women, i am breathing a sigh of relief.

i'm the first depressed person to be lazy for real