Gateway to the Void

The Deets

I have a standard format I try to keep to for the header of reviews; the title, a silly quote relevant to the review, and then a block of information about what I'm reviewing. What exactly is included in this will vary depending on what I'm reviewing, so let's get into specifics:

All Reviews

All reviews will include a line specifying whether or not I recommend what I'm reviewing; this will typically be a yes or no, but may sometimes include a bit of clarification, or sometimes me just screaming. I do color-code these; green and blue are both unambiguous yeses, with the latter being an especially enthusiastic yes, while yellow is used for recommendations that come with a significant asterisk. Orange and red are used for no. There's theoretically a rare and elusive purple, but this may wind up never being seen, as it's hard to get me to be that enthusiastic about something.

This particular detail is the only thing present in the information block for movie reviews, as there's not really a whole lot worth clarifying otherwise.

Shows & Comics

Being explicitly serialized media, these actually have a lot in common, so most of the details to be clarified in the information block are shared between the two.

The big thing for these types of media is Structure. Specifically of the narrative kind. In general, I categorize shows and comics' narrative structure in four ways:

Episodic refers to shows/comics in which individual installments are largely self-contained; outside of the occasional storyline that covers a couple consecutive episodes/issues/strips, these have no overarching narrative structure to speak of. There might be an occasional call-back, there might be some mild changes season-to-season, but there's otherwise no real sense of continuity.

Continuous refers to shows/comics that have a conscious sense of continuity, and have actual overarching narrative storylines, usually built over individual seasons/runs. There might be more episodic-style hijinks thrown into the mix here and there, but the story is mostly continuous and rolling constantly.

Semi-Continuous is a weirder category; this specifically refers to shows and comics that are distinct hybrids between Episodic and Continuous, featuring a large amount of episodic content but also moving the status quo on a semi-regular basis. This is mostly relevant for shows, as a lot of cartoons will often start like this.

Epic is Continuous on steroids. These are shows/comics with one long, continuous story, with a very specific endgame. This isn't just long things (though that is one of the criteria I use), but also things that have one consistent, defined story from start to finish. Continuity is very important.

These of course are not necessarily rigid categories, and often a show or comic will start with one structure and transition into another; as mentioned under Semi-Continuous, this happens a lot with cartoons, which may start as Semi-Continuous and transition later into proper Continuous. I'll usually note if something like this happens.

There are two other relevant things to this: Format and Paid. Format is moreso relevant for comics, but it's generally distinguishing between web media and non-web media. This is also where "Paid" comes in; if it's paid, I'll specify details about it, and if it's not, you'll just see "free". If it's on TV primarily, it counts as paid, even if it's technically available for free via an antenna.

I will also usually specify Length, in whatever format is relevant for the specific work; if it's ongoing, I'll also specify that.

Games

This is where things get more complicated; for games I specify four main things: Genre, Platform, Price, and Length.

Genre is fairly self-explanatory; it's what genre I feel most fits the bill for whatever this game is. Generally I go with whatever the common consensus on that particular game is.

Platform is a bit more nuanced; for this I specify what baseline platforms the game is officially available for. Platforms that are technically available through backwards compatibility are not counted. For PC, I generally try to specify what operating systems the game is available for; if I just specify PC, assume it's only available for Windows. This is unfortunately a very common thing. I will however generally mention if the game runs well on Steam Deck, with a link to the game's ProtonDB page.

Price is exactly what you think it is: what the price for the game is officially, as of when I reviewed it. This is always in USD. I will usually just specify the price, but I may add in other details, such as relevant DLC, or a snide remark about how games shouldn't cost $70. For free games, I will specify whether the game has secondary monetization such as microtransactions, and to what extent they exist.

Finally, Length is just a rough guess at how long a single playthrough will take. This is usually based on my own playtime as of when I wrote the review, assuming I actually kept track properly. Notably, a "single playthrough" constitutes going from the start of the game to the end; I don't include postgame content or replayability in this estimate, but will specify an additional estimate if it's relevant. For roguelikes and similar, this will instead be how long a typical run takes; for continuously-operated games such as MMOs, this will typically be omitted.

The Fancy Number at the End

Final thing to talk about: my final ratings. It bears noting that the numbers I specify should not be taken too seriously. I'm just one guy with some fairly specific preferences; I tend to be very verbose with my reviews precisely because I think my actual outlook on the details is more important and useful than the actual number on the end. Accordingly, the final rating should only be taken as a rough gauge of how I personally feel about the piece of media I'm reviewing.

That said, I do have some mild criteria about how I assign the numbers:

I am theoretically willing to hand out 0's, however this is pretty much reserved for things I loathe with every fiber of my being.

1-2 is, as you'd expect, bottom of the pile. I really don't like this thing.

3-4 is for things I personally dislike, but not strongly enough to outright condemn.

5-6 are average. Usually I have no strong opinion either way, or I have a strong opinion one way that's hampered by a lot of caveats.

7-8 are what I genuinely consider good; 7s are appreciated, 8s are well-liked, but in either case it's not necessarily a strong appreciation. (If it is, I have multiple caveats attached to it.)

9 is for things I really like. Anything that earns a 9 from me is something I have a strong appreciation for, and usually comes with relatively minimal asterisks.

10 is illustrious; if something somehow earns a 10, as far as I care it's one of the greatest things I've ever experienced, no notes. This is not something I hand out lightly, and in fact as of writing I haven't given anything a 10 yet. No, Pizza Tower doesn't count, I've retroactively revoked its 10. Anything that warrants an asterisk (beyond things like trigger warnings) doesn't get a 10. End of story.

As noted, I'm very stringent about handing out 10s, and it is very likely you won't see many at all. Also as noted, don't take these numbers as gospel; they're heavily-generalized statements of my opinion.