Takin: you may fire when ready.
Fortunately, every shot somehow missed Alderaan, some just flashed in space, some (ironically) hit the empireās own tie fighters, one even hit a, thankfully, unoccupied moon.
Everyone in the room, from takin to Vader to leia, who herself was nearly slack with relief, was completely confused about what just happened.
Taking: what in the name of the emperor was that?! Report!
āWe, we programmed the coordinates for Alderaan, but the controls, they, they must have malfunctioned, we donāt know what went wrong, weāre running a diagnostic as we speak, sir! Also, we had lost tie fighters 3 and 4, sir!
Takin: you have ten minutes.
Anakin(sarcastically): aw, that seems kind of unfair, shouldnāt you give them more time? I mean, big balls of death and destruction, they arenāt easy to fix, performance issues, you know, itās pretty common, in fact, one out of fiveā¦
Vader knows exactly what happened and picks up Anakin by his throat.
Vader: you! What have you done?!
Anakin: I donāt know what youāre talking about. Maybe... maybe the Death Star... just needs a little... blue pill?"
Some of the lackeys actually laughed, until Vader glares at them.
Vader: your meddling will lead to your doom, I offered you a chance for power, to escape the chains of your destinyā¦
Anakin: yeah, and blowing a whole planet of innocent people is so going to help with that, whatās next, kicking puppies? Stuffing orphans into a wood chipper? Replacing all music in the galaxy with that annoying elevator music you hear on hold?
Takin: you will reveal how to fix this, child, or I will allow lord Vader to.. persuade you.
Anakin looks at Leia, her eyes full of fear and desperation for him not to help the imperials.
Anakin: have you tried 1111
Suddenly, SpongeBobās voice comes out at full volume.
SpongeBob: a free pair of socks with every purchase!
Takin goes slack jawed, even Vader drops Anakin.
Takin: what is this madness?!
Anakin: have some respect, you are dissing a cultural icon, the prince of Nickelodeon, the greatest fry cook and jelly fisher since 1999.
SpongeBob SquarePants! I would have thought you imperials would have at some culture.
Everyone, even Leia, looked like he had just said the galaxy was made of sting cheese.
Takin: what is SpongeBob SquarePants? Is this a rebel callsign?
āDonāt ask himā Vader bellowed, but it was too late.
Anakin: oh, heās only the main character of one of the most famous shows in all of history. Heās a cheerful SpongeBob who lives in a pineapple under the sea with his pet snail, Gary
