*heptagon sun

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

physical altercation my house 9 pm tonight

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

unfortunately, Sky High was only (1) 1hr 30 min Disney film and not the 6 season so-bad-it’s-good CW series it could’ve been

they teach you the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but in a pinch you can apply the silver rule (be kinda selfish because you’ve earned it) or even the bronze rule (manipulate others purely for your benefit).

There's also the stone rule: Just start hitting people.

that’s right

what if we started taking care of tall girls

like really taking care of tall girls

the notes on this are killing me why aren't we being taken care of why aren't we allowed to be small

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

feng shui sabotage by placing thousands of tiny ball bearings in a bag under your couch you won't see them but you'll feel the clutter

After a 5 year hiatus, national embarrassment Conor McGregor debuts in his own mma tournament called World's Baddest Man and his very first move is to blow out his knee and collapse to the ground

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

let me put this in terms you can fucking understand. our toddler, Falco Mewtwo Martinez, “wavedashed” straight into a “stage hazard” because you weren’t fucking watching him.

you are weak of mind and horny of spirit

and metal of body

HOLY SHIT PJACK??????

HE WAS BACK FOR THREE HOURS, RESPONDED TO MY POST, AND THEN DIED AGAIN????