Quotes in the No. 6 novels that had me reeling from their sheer level of intensity and yearning (aka my favourite lines)-
"This is where my heart is. I was human when my heart was stolen by him, and I was human when I longed to be by his side. And this fact won't change, no matter what name I give to these feelings."
"Why won’t you come home? Why aren’t you beside me? I just want to look into your eyes and see that I am me, that I can continue to be who I am. They are my only anchor."
"I’ll be waiting. No matter how many years pass, no matter how old I get, I’ll be waiting here for you. The wandering star and the fixed one. Someday our paths will cross again. When that happens, I’m not going to sit quietly and let you go. I’ll be waiting for you."
"It’s not friendship, not merely a deep affection even—nor is it simply romantic attraction or respect or caring. It is a deep and powerful love for someone dear to him."
“You called me, and I listened. I reached out, and you caught my arm. I opened the window so I could meet you."
"No one is greedier than I am. I’m sure no one desires another as strongly as I do."
"It's been four years, and I still have neither skill nor the heart to push this body aside."
"I'm drawn to you. A lot. That's why I want to stay here. I want to see what you see, eat what you eat, and breathe the same air as you."
"Have you noticed? No matter how dark or blindingly bright it is, I'm never led astray―my eyes always find yours."
"If I lost you here, right now, I wouldn't be able to stay sane. I would go mad. The world would turn upside-down."
"I'm probably more afraid to lose you than anyone―anybody else. I'm so scared, it's unbearable. I want to make sure you'll never disappear from my side. I don't care if you ridicule me, or sneer at me―these are my real feelings." It was none other than a straightforward and simple confession of love. I can't live without another―without you.
The emotionless voice became a frigid wind that wrapped around Shion's body. With his sense of pain, his fear, and his pride whipped away, for an instant, Shion was empty. Like a cicada shedding its skin, he became a hollow cavern that left only its outward appearance intact. He sometimes had this sensation when listening to Nezumi's voice. He didn't mind it much. In fact, it even felt refreshing. Exhilarating, even, to become empty.
I'll never leave you. I'll sink my teeth in, and latch on no matter where you go. He would never lose sight of that back turned to him. He would crawl across the ground to follow him if he had to. That was the only thing in his mind.
Invited along by Nezumi's voice, Shion had smiled, and seen the sky. It was that deepest hue of blue he had seen, lying in the grassy field. The colour of the heavens was spreading across the darkness. True, this world was ridden with brutality and falseness. Indeed, it was rife with it. But that wasn't the only thing that existed. Because, look―in this world, and in people's souls, there definitely existed beautiful things like the blue of the lofty skies. Nezumi's voice became a bubbling spring that quenched Shion's body and filled him to the brim. It was a strange voice. It melted the soul, and regenerated people to life.
He felt like he was being wrapped in an elegant grey cloth. The core of his body pulsated. All the thoughts that had been swirling around in his head came to a full stop. A moment of pleasure. It was strange. Just the kind of light in Nezumi's eyes was enough to make him feel like he was being pushed away or being embraced.
Curiosity. No, it wasn't such a casual feeling; it was a deep-rooted desire. It roved in circles deep inside his chest. It was intrigue towards a world his imagination could not render. Interest in the unknown. And more than anything... it was the expectation that he could acquire some piece of knowledge that had to do with Nezumi. His soul was stirring restlessly. It stirred from wanting to know, and not for anyone else but himself.
Nezumi was almost like a deep forest. No matter how far he waded in, he could never gaze out over its entirety. Here, clumps of flowers bloomed; here, a bowed branch bore fruits. Here, a spring gushed forth, and he could hear the gentle sound of its flow. He had definitely seen these various scenes, but they were mere parts of the deep, vast forest. Perhaps he would emerge from the dense trees to be faced with a sheer cliff. Perhaps there lurked man-eating beasts. Perhaps a scene totally unknown to him would stretch before his eyes. He didn't know. No matter how far he waded in, Nezumi never revealed his entirety to him. The further he waded in, the more unfathomable it got. I've wandered and gotten lost in an endless forest. I'm drifting, a tangle of throbbing pain and dreamy ecstasy.
" I've gone against what you've told me. I've sighed many times for another. I believed him, and opened my heart to him. I placed the shackles around my own feet. But I couldn't have done otherwise. I couldn't cut him away."
"I came to know what it was like for my heart to feel moved for someone, to yearn strongly for someone. I can't go back to when I didn't know. I don't want to go back. I would never want to go back to when I lived peacefully, knowing nothing."
"And above all, I have to tell you about Nezumi. I want you to know about him. Four years ago on a stormy night, I met him. Ever since then, I feel like I've been captured by him. When I'm with him, I lose sight of myself. No, that's not it. I'm illuminated vividly. Maybe I'm blinded for an instant because that light is so bright. That's how much my vision had deteriorated. It was so weak, I couldn't even discern myself, my surroundings, or the truth. Safu, his―Nezumi's gaze and words pierce me. They shoot through me, batter me, and save me. By his hands, I was melted, wrought anew, and instilled with new life."
"There's no way you can't hear me. There's no way my voice won't reach you. No matter when or what situation, you always caught my words firmly, You heard me through the noise, you grasped my words, and you answered me. You came back to me. This time, I'm going to bring you back. I'll take you back by force."
"The wind was howling. The flame was flickering. And I desperately wanted to hear you recite that line. I don't know why. Maybe I just wanted to lend my ears to your voice, and immerse myself in your breathing. As I listened to Macbeth tread the path to destruction, I felt elevated; I was fulfilled."
"You called to me. I heard that voice―your voice―calling me. It ducked through the wind, tore through the rain, and came to me. You called me, and I was called by you. That's why I opened the window. I flung it open wide to the outdoors. I extended my arms in search of you. You called me, and I listened. I reached out, and you caught my arm. I opened the window so I could meet you. That's our truth, Nezumi."
"Going to Hell doesn't seem so bad when it's with you."
"The fight would still continue tomorrow. But if I lost Nezumi, if I had to face a tomorrow without him, then I wouldn't be able to remain a soldier. You're weak. Unbelievably frail, he could hear Nezumi say in derision. Laugh at me, Nezumi. Look on me with contempt. Make fun of me. Give me a scornful laugh, a cold laugh. I just want to hear your laughter. Let me hear it, please."
"To me, you were more of a miracle than the Forest God ever was. I felt like I was being told to live―to live on, not give up.... If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been able to survive that night. Shion, you―only you―were the one who saved me. This time, too."
"The world means nothing to me without you. Nothing."
"He's more dangerous, troublesome, strong, and beautiful than anyone else in the world."
Nezumi's gazed pierced through him. Those grey eyes gave Shion the impression that they knew everything. He wondered why every time he was held by this gaze, he felt a shiver of bliss rather than pain.
"I'm alive and waiting for you. Even in those hellish surroundings, I was drawn to your eyes, your words, your gestures, your thoughts―and they supported me. Thanks to them, I was able to survive. And right now, I'm still alive."
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