Rewatching Season 12 Episode 1 and...Sam is kidnapped and being tortured, but instead, we are spending time reminiscing about Baby and drinking coffee at a strawberry farm. And Mary is not asking about him. She is not showing clear worry about him. Because I imagine if she thought too much about the pain that Sam was in, she would have to think about her responsibility for it.
And it's just...Dean's facial expressions. His mom is back, but you can tell that he is not feeling the way he expected to. It reminds me of a reverse of Season 10 when Claire thinks she's going to be resentful when she sees her mom again but instead she just wants her to be okay. Dean is the opposite; he thought he would love to see his mom again, but the minute she's back, he's feeling way more feelings than he thought he would. His mother's not a nightgowned flashback anymore; she's a living, breathing person and she is flawed.
And then the episode ends with Sam still trapped and alone and afraid, still thinking that Dean is dead and meanwhile, Dean is stuck worrying about his mother and trying to make her feel better. He's right back to the four year old who was hugging his mom, telling her that everything was going to be okay or the child who would dry his dad's tears after a hunt.
Mary hasn't reassured Dean that they're going to find his little brother. But Dean has to reassure his mother that it's okay that they're hunters.
And the fact that Mary can't remember being a ghost when the one thing that she said to Sam in that moment was "Sorry" is so telling.
I love complicated characters and their complicated dynamics so much because what do you mean Mary and Dean have changed so much but are also forced into their old dynamics?
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