honestly getting cozy in bed is one of the top experiences one can have on this green earth

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honestly getting cozy in bed is one of the top experiences one can have on this green earth

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Royal Mail? Uh yeah I think they call him the King nowadays…
rocky learning about last names is one of the most stressful days of grace's life on the way to erid.
it starts with them watching a movie, maybe the devil wears prada, and a little way through the movie rocky asks why miranda has two names. is it because she's more important?
grace, already anticipating a long conversation, says no, all humans have two names. everyone's just scared of miranda because her two names are really well known.
"grace have another name and not tell rocky?!" rocky asks, incensed. "what names mean, question? why two?"
"well," grace explains, "your first name is the name your parents give you at birth. usually people call you by your first name, especially if you're close. except in... some situations, i guess," he says, remembering stratt's vat. nobody had called him ryland there, but he still felt pretty close to all of them.
"and second name?" rocky prompts.
"right - last names correlate to your family. when you're born, you take your family name so that people know who you're related to. it also helps differentiate between two people with the same first name."
"so what grace last name, question?" rocky asks. grace blanches a little.
"uhh... grace is my last name, rock," he says, sheepishly.
"what?!" rocky yells. grace winces. "grace not tell rocky grace first name? grace not close with rocky? grace hate rocky?"
"no!" grace protests. "of course i don't hate you! don't say that!" maybe it's stupid, but grace does actually feel a little hurt by the insinuation.
"then why not tell rocky?!"
grace sighs. "i don't know, rock. i mean - when i met you i barely knew up from down, much less what my name meant to me. and i kept getting these memories and everyone kept calling me grace, and i just, i haven't been called ryland in so long it doesn't really feel like my name anymore."
rocky ruminates on this for a moment. then: "...ryland is grace first name, question?"
"yeah."
"rocky like grace better." grace deflates with relief. "yeah, me too, buddy."
"but," rocky says, "rocky want last name too now."
huh. okay, then.
"i guess i could figure that out," grace agrees. "we could give you movie rocky's last name? you wanna be rocky balboa?"
"mm, no," rocky says.
"okay, well we could go region based, i guess. where'd you grow up? i can make up something fitting, or i can look something up on my computer, i'm sure there's places on earth that are similar to places on erid -"
"no," rocky interrupts. "want grace."
"...huh?"
"rocky want grace last name."
grace is suddenly feeling very, very flushed. "you what??"
"last name is family name, question?"
"well, yeah, but -"
"and rocky grace family now. so rocky want grace family name!"
...well, when he says it like THAT, it's so much more innocent. grace... well, he agrees, because what else is he gonna say? that rocky should know that that that's as good as a marriage proposal?
no, that takes too much cultural context, and a longer conversation than he wants to have right now. easier to just let rocky have it. it's not like there'll be any consequences to bite him in the ass, right?
(wrong.)
everyone clap
Remember to celebrate his birthday properly by going nonverbal :3
"Matthew Murdock for the defense, your Honor"

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"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."
"come again?"
"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."
"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."
a long and judgmental pause. then:
"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"
Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun
"Grace Ryland is Rocky's dog" is such a funny fucking dynamic when you think about it
Eridians are further behind than humans technologically right? They dont have computers, relativity, quantum mechanics, etc. In fact, Eridians probably dont even know about the Big Bang because their atmosphere would filter out most of the cosmic microwave background radiation we use to detect it. On a human timeline, theyre anywhere between like early-mid 20th century. Rocky's basically a cosmonaut.
So the human civilization is pretty advanced from Rocky's perspective. Rationally he understands this. On a conceptual level he knows this to be true.
But at the same time... imagine youre one of the first ever cosmonauts to make it into space. Then you meet a 10 year old alien dog who cant do 2+2 without pulling out its calculator. It forgets everything constantly and has to keep notes everywhere, like it basically lives in Memento (2000). Also if it doesnt nap constantly it gets even stupider. And you somehow has to reconcile this with the fact that this dog has a better understanding of physics than your entire civilization does. Like the dog knows how the universe started.
On Friendship.
Item: A Bug Rarity: ⏶ Common
What's your favorite creature from any video game world?
Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.
hmmmm i’m not sure actually but i think maybe either koroks from zelda or Naydra the dragon from the spring of wisdom from breath of the wild

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this is honestly the best i can do i fear
Night We Met is NOT lord Huron’s only song I am BEGGING you to listen to their other stuff
reblog if youre just a man but you know that you're damned and all your debts seem to know where you am
Sorry kitten, daddy fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see and now the darkness has a hold on me
So you know how in EP 179 Basira says to Jon, "You apologize too much", to which he replies, "Martin says the same thing", and then Basira says, "Like he's any better"?
So yeah, this little interaction inspired me to crunch some numbers. And believe it or not, but Martin is, in fact, better!
Statistically speaking.
Over 5 seasons, Jon apologizes 122 times, while Martin apologizes 91 times.
The main difference between these two is that Jon apologizes more frequently and for everything (especially in S5), whereas Martin piles up multiple 'sorry's per apology.
Nothing illustrates that better than this little tidbit, which coincidentally comes from EP 179, as well!
EP 179 is *also* The Most Sorry Episode™: it sits at 9-4 with Martin in the lead!
Impressive work all around! (I'm incredibly concerned. These two need help.)
[ID: the first image is a line graph titled "It's Always 2 Insecure Bitches Telling Each Other 'I'm sorry. - It's fine.'" It shows the number of times Martin or Jon has said "sorry" in each season. The data is
S1: Martin 9, Jon 5
S2: Martin 4, Jon 16
S3: Martin 27, Jon 15
S4: Martin 6, Jon 25
S5: Martin 45, Jon 61
The second image is a transcript screenshot reading, "Martin: Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" /end ID]

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all of these people seeing lou on the pitt for the first time and going "who is THAT guy 😍" and immediately demanding to see more of him. well this happened to my good friend evan buckley too
for the ides of march, tumblr should give us a button to stab people. and a badge for stabbing a lot of people.