the signs as things my girlfriend’s said to me
aries: “trees are good”
taurus: “compared to us, hardly anyone else even has a relationship, just dorky clown parties”
gemini: “if i become a dread fire sorceress with a volcano lair do you wanna come swim around in it sometimes”
cancer: “but you can get the hate out with kisses its a thing”
leo: “do you think when news of the french revolution reached versailles it caused unrest! in the ballroom”
virgo: “i think i might be a momma badger but that may just be bc ive been gay for fictional badgers for a very long time now”
libra: “you have a very nice armpit”
scorpio: “wowie zowie”
sagittarius: “theres a pretty broad gradient between “my sibling” and “my sandwich” and im happy to fall in between there somewhere”
capricorn: “Fuck chocolate and fuck happiness, you blasphemous heathen.”
aquarius: “holy shit i love shit so much”
pisces: “look trees”
