This is actually really important to me so Iâm going to keep talking about it. My mom was a stay-at-home mom for my entire childhood. She chose to drop out of her masterâs program to raise me, even though my father and her entire family had offered to come together and raise the baby so she could finish out her degree.
After I was born, she talked to a close friend about if sheâd made the right choice - she felt like she was relegating herself to a life without importance - she felt that society had told her that to be important she has to go get her degree and âchange the world.â Her friend told her that if she is raising her children to be good people, sheâs changing the world by being present for them and helping them live their fullest potential.
My mom believed in this principle so strongly that she followed it for most of my life and dedicated long hours to schooling us at home (at least 3 of us kids were neurodivergent - I can confidently say I wouldnât have survived as my authentic self in a public school).
My mom and dad have one of the best relationships Iâve ever seen - itâs one I aspire to and admire all the time. My father has overwhelming respect and love for my mom, which she has for him as well. They like to sit on the patio or in the living room and have a drink while they just talk for long hours alone together. They miss each other when theyâre gone. I once found a love note from my dad to my mom the day he left on a business trip and at the time I was embarrassed but in retrospect who doesnât want the kind of partner who writes love notes after being together 10, 15, 25 years?
To assume my mom was oppressed, conservative, didnât make her own choice, didnât think about the implications of her choice, or didnât have a relationship that was both equal and loving makes you look stupid and to a certain degree sexist yourself.
People will be rude as hell to stay-at-home moms for no damn reason. Even if you havenât seen it happen I guarantee itâs happened.
