Hedonippus

If you’re over 250lbs:

working should be optional

A free dozen cookies a day

Complimentary mobility scooters

My job is to make everything easier for you, I'll get you lunch to your desk so you don't have to walk, and I'll get your coffee too, three sugar right? Just like you like it

You want McDonald's for lunch again? I'll go and get, oh, you're not full? That's okay. I'll go get another burger, whatever you need

Your clothes are looking smaller, I'll have a new suit tailored for you, sir

Yes, I'll go grab some of the donuts from the break room. Do you need me to feed it to you while you work? No problem, sir

Oh, you're having problems with that chair? I'll order a bigger one, don't worry

Just focus on your work while you munch on the snacks I got you. You have a long meeting, and you can't get hungry there, right?

like you can afford all food at all times non stop delivery buffet restaurants eating THE SNACKS holy shit

Hoverchairs are the next logical step in human mobility. We have evolved past the need to use our legs. Legs are slow and often lead to incidents. PLUS, do they have built in entertainment and food? I didn't think so.

The chair's plush seating is designed to provide maximum comfort. Once you’re in you’ll never want to leave, and you shouldn’t, you’ll only be happy in your hover chair. It’s designed to expand and morph to suit your body. As you grow plumper and your rolls begin to spill over the sides of the chair, it will automatically heh no pun intended... get bigger so you'll never worry about manual maintenance ever again. Enjoy world-class massage capability’s built into the seating. The fabric easily shifts from head to toe in patterns that ensure you’ll never go sore again, after all you won’t be leaving this chair so it better be a comfy forever home. Of course, some other considerations have been made to ensure the chair can stay your forever home. With user consent, you can activate a tube based system of waste disposal right from your chair. Never worry about the hassle of getting up to relieve yourself ever again, relax and let the chair work its magic. Food synthesis is another core feature of the chair's design. Order anything you desire from the hundreds of options for delicious cuisine and watch as in seconds your chair easily synthesizes the delicious meal right in front of you. Of course the synthesizing technology is still new and as such the food may be a little less healthy than usual, but that shouldn’t stop you at all. Indulge in all your favorite comfort foods, after all, you deserve to be spoiled and pampered.

The technical prowess of your chair is handled entirely by an individually crafted A.I. The A.I. links up with your Get Big™ brain chip to ensure it can perform all your wanted tasks with no wasted effort on your end trying to speak. With this A.I. you’ll never have worry again about the stress of meeting new friends or seeking a partner. Using the built-in A.I this stressful, difficult, and horribly uninteresting part of life has been streamlined completely. Just allow your chip to run a scan and let the A.I. create your very own best friend or loved one. Next up is your chair's A.I. conversation mode. We understand that sometimes talking to people gets hard, especially when you're trying to enjoy the relaxation that the hover chair provides. As such, our incredible conversation, A.I. will do all the talking for you. Never think again about how to best respond to annoying friends who keep interrupting your you time and kick back and watch your holo screen. And that isn't even the end of the near endless capability's of your hover chair. No matter what your personals taste or needs are, this A.I. is hand made to fit you and only you. Never stress over deciding what to do next and simply follow all your A.I's suggestions, after all it knows you better than you do, and you wouldn't want your head hurting trying to think too hard.

Mechanical arms can deploy at a moment's notice to help manage everything you can’t from the comfort of your amazing new chair. Grabbing any objects is an incredibly useful function for anyone truly enjoying the comfort and pleasure of the hover chair. You wouldn’t want to have to perform the extreme labor of bending forward and especially not trying to leave your chair, so let the arms do any and all light or heavy lifting you'll ever need. These arms can also help feed you using your chair's built in food synthesizer. Even if you want them to stop, the arms are always going to help push you to eat more and more, making sure your ever-growing immobile body is always pushing new limits. Finally, these arms are very well-equipped to provide pleasure. Regardless of your parts, you'll practically be screaming in pure ecstasy once they get to work. Now you might think your tree trunk shaped immobile fat piles called legs would block the ability to receive sexual pleasure, however the chairs arms are more than able to move such obstacles and easily stroke and finger you till completion. When you’re living the dream, there’s no shame in getting fucked every day, multiple times a day. Besides, that head of yours doesn't need to be thinking too hard, or it might hurt. Shut off that brain and let the wonderful hover chair relive you of all that pent-up stress.

Of course, easily the most essential thing for any person living in this modern era is entertainment. There should be no reason a person shouldn't have at a screen in front of them at all times, life would be so bring and drab... And so of course built into your chair is the future of entertainment. Introducing the holo screen, the ultimate entertainment device. Experience an infinite supply of entertaining content that’s designed to keep you constantly engaged. Your chair's built in A.I will always put on exactly what you need, even if you may not think that’s what you need. From calling friends, chatting with A.I. companions or partners, playing games, watching videos, and so much more, the holo screen provides it all. For example, if you find that you're feeling a little horny, why not watch our near unlimited selection of porn. You can even let your A.I. generate new content on the spot, you'll never run out of new things to watch. Now sadly in our modern world advertisements are still a necessity, but as a consumer you can be assured all of your ads will be made and generated specifically by your A.I. to cater to you specifically. Your generated food adverts will always keep that stomach grumbling for more delicious treats, with pretty visuals and soothing little hidden messages keep you constantly craving delicious treats and always horny for pleasure and porn. After all, there’s nothing that goes better with triple chocolate cream filled pancakes than getting fucked by your wonderful chair or servant android (Servant Android not included). Once you've gotten used to living in the hover chair, you'll realize how nice the holo screen is, especially once you've got 3+ flabby chins hanging from your beautiful face. Don’t worry about turning your head ever again, the only thing you’ll ever need is directly in front of you. With the holo screen you can experience the joys of never ending screen time, after all what's more fun than watching your holo screen. Even aside from the holo screen, we haven't discussed all of your chair's cutting edge entertainment, features has the latest in VR technology built straight to it. Explore vast worlds and chat with others all I. The most cutting edge hyperrealistic graphics and sensations ever made, all from the comfort of your chair. We here at Get Big™ know that It’s completely understandable if you decide to live in the VR world permanently instead of the real one. If you should decide to do this, Your chair will simply help dock itself into a Get Big™ Happy Human Storage Space™ and from there you will be monitored and cared for 24/7 by a team of android caretakers and Get Big's™ own research and human care team.

As you continue to use the Get Big Hoverchair™, you may begin to feel a little lazier than usual. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, sometimes issues can start cropping up. Things such as "Opening my mouth is too much work, but I'm still hungry". Well don’t worry, even for our largest users, we always have solutions to keep you happy and in constant pleasure. Introducing the Happy Helper Food Tube™. This device is a tube automatically present in all chairs, so once your Get Big Brain Chip™ detects that you've become unable to open your mouth comfortably, it will automatically deploy the Happy Helper Food Tube™. Enjoy the wonderful taste of Get Bis's Iconic Happy Cream™ pumped directly to your hungry mouth, coming in any flavor you desire. This cream is a little addictive and some may find themselves completely dependent and addicted on the tube, but this is completely fine, and your chair will accommodate your new needs perfectly. If you find yourself reaching a point in eh you grow too heavy for the chair hover capability’s to handle, then you have nothing to fear! Just like with our permanent VR residents, you will be transported to a Get Big Happy Human Storage Facility™ which will then care for you. Get Big has your best interest in mind, and we’d love for you to join our thousands of pre-existing immobile and bliss filled customers.

You’re a perfect stereotypical American. The world sees us as fat and lazy consumers, and there’s no better way to describe you. Think about it. You eat fast food for half of your meals like a good American, binging on burgers and fries and milkshakes like there’s no tomorrow. And that perfect American diet has given you a perfect American body to go with it. Thick, wobbling thighs struggle to support a massively obese upper body. Your flabby, shapeless arms struggle to lift anything heavier than a plate of food. Softening fingers outgrow rings. Your bulging breasts are just giant fat bags, sentenced to continued expansion as you keep eating your over-processed high-sugar fat-filled mixture of fast food. Your pillowy ass lacks all definition, two misshapen globes that bounce violently with every labored step you attempt. Directly above, a massive roll of blubber droops over any clothes you try to wear, forming what you might call a muffin top but is clearly much larger and softer than any normal muffin should be. Further up, your back is laced with folds of lard that get deeper and deeper every time you fill yourself up with junk. Your cheeks, once streamlined and shallow, are now bulging with the fruits of your overeating, flowing into a flabby double chin - or is that a third coming in? Below all this, in the center of your overfed body, is your crowning achievement and characteristic that identifies you as American. Your belly is a giant pudding pouch that you’ve managed to grow onto yourself through your gluttony. It’s very heavy, but still soft. A quick poke will confirm the contents of this massive new organ of your body. A finger sinks in all the way, leaving only a slight jiggle behind to ever indicate it was there. This new body part is made up entirely of dense yellow fat. And it hasn’t stopped getting bigger since you started overfeeding yourself. It makes the rules now when it comes to eating and moving. Trying to eat a salad tonight? No way, as soon as you get a look at that healthy bowl of greens, your belly is gonna growl for something with a little more substance. And by substance, your belly means the addictive artificial foods that have made it fat in the first place. Compelled by your belly as usual, you feed it everything it needs to grow even more massively obese. The food you’re eating is made purely for the benefit of your fat cells. It’s like chugging high-fructose corn syrup or cramming spoonfuls of pure trans fats into your struggling body. Did you want to go for a walk to work some of those fattening goodies off? Not so fast. The belly fat that just convinced you to eat a few thousand calories worth of fast food is going to jiggle uncontrollably. Your fat-covered legs have to work through pounds and pounds of lard to get your powerless muscles to do anything at all. No, you’re not going to move that morbidly obese body. You might lose some of those precious calories! Like a good American, you’re going to drive everywhere. Drive thru after Drive thru. Delivery whenever you can. Anything to make sure that every inch of muscle in your body is properly overwhelmed and replaced by your huge excess of blubber. Your car and bedroom pile up with greasy fast food wrappers, reminders of your disgusting gluttony and hilarious inability to eat anything that isn’t literally dripping with extra fat. Soon you’ll resort to the scooter at the supermarket, basking in the disgusted looks that people will give you for being too fat to walk, even though you’re entire generations younger than them. Just smile and continue to fill up your cart with cookies, cakes, candies, pies, donuts, chips, crackers, and chocolates until it’s piled high with the future contents of your hungry belly. You’re a lazy fatass, determined to overfill yourself with the most fattening food you can get your chubby little hands on while exerting as little effort as possible. What’s more American than that?

This one’s for you American folks out there (sorry everyone else - it’s not that good here anyways, although it is kinda neat to live in the most fattening place in the world). As usual, I hope you liked it and I encourage you to reblog rather than like so I can expand my audience and encourage even more fats! On a side note, it seems I’ve been more or less discovered and lots of people are finding my stuff. That’s great, and big respect to anyone that republished my stuff initially. It means a lot. Expect more writing soon. Cheers! -R