I think I'm a lot older than many of the folks here, so I wanted to share a recent observation I had.
An unexpected benefit of aging as a feedist with a weight gain kink is watching everyone put on weight as they start to enter middle age.
Almost everyone around my peer group is getting hotter (to me) as they pack on that "life got busy and my youthful metabolism gave out on me" weight. It's delicious.
You say "dad bod" i say, "a good start."
Kids + office job + aging = weight gain.
It's one thing to rationally know of that pattern as a young person, it is another thing to see it happening live, in real time, to so many people all around me.
We were recently at a friend's 40th birthday party and we saw a big group of people we hadn't seen in years. At one point my husband leaned over to me and whispered, "Did you notice that everyone seems to have gotten a lot bigger?"
Did i notice? DID I NOTICE?!?!
Sir, that's merely the load bearing pillar of my entire sexuality. My greatest turn on. The molten core of my arousal. You think i'm going to reconnect with a group of the hottest, smartest, funniest people I know and love and NOT NOTICE that almost all of them have gained 20-40 pounds?!! That was the first thing I noticed the instant we walked in.
Do you think my brain hasn't been in horny overdrive since we got here? Diligently cataloging every new roll and jiggle. Every new muffin top. Every belly in a too-tight shirt. Every new double chin sprouting on some of my all time favorite faces.
Do you think i'm not actively fantasizing about grabbing all of those new bellies right the fuck now? Squishing those love handles? Going in for a big hug with everyone I haven't seen in a long time just to feel their new gut pressed up against me? (ok, I did that last one. Friends hug.)
In what world would I not notice that. Be so for real.
And they're all so mad about it too. Friends, coworkers, parent acquaintances -- I'm losing my mind. Complaining about how between work and the kids they don't have time to go to the gym anymore. Talking about having to buy new clothes. Talking about embracing body neutrality and trying to make peace with their changing bodies.
Everyone trying to make themselves feel better by joking about their new bellies and slapping and jiggling them for emphasis. I'm dying. Unintentional weight gain really does it for me.
My toxic trait is getting turned on from watching someone gain weight against their will and be upset about it. I've been reading fics with that plot for 20 years. I didn't expect them to start coming to life in front of me as soon as I hit my early 40s. What in the Dimensions is my life right now?
A friend sent me a Maro Polo last week where, in the middle of rant about his life being kind of a mess in other ways, he said, "and I have gut now, fuck" -- and he lifted up his shirt and slapped it on camera. He is not a feedist. He does not know I have this kink. This is just how 40 year olds cope with chunking up ::heavy breathing::
Everyone stop talking dirty to me over dinner parties and office break room coffee. Good lord. I can only take so much. I'm going to soak the chair. But also, don't stop.
Ok, that's my non-Hollanov feedist thoughts for the day. Maybe this is why i'm so obsessed with retired Shane and Ilya right now. In my head, Shane goes the Crosby route and is going to play until he's 40. Oh but then, Shane and Ilya retired and in their 40s are going to get starter bellies so, so fast.
