diagnosed retard

Reposting from my twitter here, but: you wouldn't prevent an adult from speaking to their friend or eating when they were hungry. In your personal life that's abusive behavior, in the work sphere a suppression of workers' rights. Other places these rights are violated include: prison.

In Education and Peace, Maria Montessori describes the culture of war and identifies it as originating, on a personal level, in the struggle between the adult and the child that begins as soon as the child is born. This is the very first conflict. The adult subjects the child to their own wants and needs and completely disregards the needs, development and personhood of the child. This struggle continues throughout childhood, between both parents and children and other adults and children:

“Both the adult and the child are unaware of their own characteristic natures. They fight one another in a secret struggle that has gone on for countless generations and is becoming more violent today in our complicated and nerve-racking culture. The adult defeats the child; and once the child reaches adulthood the characteristic signs of the peace that is only an aftermath of war—destruction on one hand and painful adjustment on the other—remain with him for the rest of his life.”

This conflict positions children and adults relative to each other as two distinct classes, one with power and one without. Of course, there are other conflicts at play here—race is a huge one, gender another. And that’s not to say children can’t have power over parents, etc. But one of the most fundamental class conflicts is between adults and children.

And I should not be forced to endure bullying from adults simply because they are my teachers. If I am bullied by peers they should suffer consequences, and if they violently assault me, they should be expelled. If I have a difficulty learning or understanding I should be accommodated. I should not be forced to get up at 7 am and go to school and after school shit, then come home and do more school shit, taking away time I need to grow and learn and play.

And then she said something that just stabbed me in the heart. She said, and I do remember her exact words:

"He is allowed to defend his body."

It was a watershed moment for me both in thinking about how I approach animals, but also in how I suddenly understood my own trauma from childhood that occurred in school, home, and in medical contexts, and how I suddenly understood my adult reactions to my ongoing and neverending retraumatization at the hands of the medical and psychiatric professions.

I have the right to defend my body and my core psyche. And I had that right as a child as well. That wasn't well acknowledged then, and still is not, I live in a very toxic and controlling environment because I am disabled and mentally ill. Not being allowed to draw your own boundaries and decide your own fate fucks you up, man. It's literally killing me.