Your Local Weirdo

the place I work at remodeled these split gendered restrooms into “inclusive restrooms” and never told us what they meant while construction was ongoing. I need you to know every atom of potential criticism or whining that could’ve happened disappeared when people found out this meant we got 10 fully separate private bathrooms with sinks inside. I’ve not heard a single person crack a joke about the inclusive signage. this is the world TERFs are trying to steal from you

keeping a blokelist of problematic english men

victims of the chupacabra:

I'm being dragged in the group chat bc I accidentally wore two different pairs of shoes to the theater. I wasn't even in a hurry, I have no fucking excuse for not noticing this

I totally forgot about this oh my god

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

Cosmic horror story about the protagonist being driven mad by having forbidden knowledge seared into their mind in which it gradually becomes clear that the protagonist is a housecat and the terrible gnosis that renders even their most familiar intimacies alien to them is the ability to do first grade math.

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again