I'm not bad at healing I'm just not healing *you*

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

you guys are ruining brunch

remember—there’s no “i” in homunculus. that’s why they do 90% of the manual labor around my tower

wait shit

Would imps be welcomed within this union

et tu, krongus?

There is an 'us' in 'krongus'

well if you're pawing off and i'm pawing off then who's flying the dragon

God why is it always a 9/11 joke

well i can do a second one but im not sure it’d land

you are spreading valuable trade secrets

hey wizards. why do you feel the need to solemnly say "I CAST" before casting something. just use the spell directly. I don't understand.

You know nothing of tradition, culture or honoring those that came before you.

to be honest there aren't that many people who came here before me. also ow.

I'm never going to get this fucking paper done I'm starting to believe that you have to kiss ass or be nuts to get a paper finished, much less published in an athenaeum Thinking about going evil and killing people for fun

Do you think the administrative documents the evil council requires are easier to deal with?

hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead

Forgetting something? Not anymore! Try this one fucked up Wizard trick to never lose a thought again!

Sorry for the inactivity, I've been quite concerned about the salinity of a local estuary in my area, so I've been spending the past few days standing there next to the shore and dumping my barrels of salt directly into the water.

As long as you don't drink it.

Expect multiple literally do

Please don't say that. There are young and impressionable minds present.

Hey I just refuse to let this Misinformation be free

Is this cause the eye saw you fall down the stairs

I didn't fall it was a graceful but speedy descent.

It got brought up at the Eldritch Christmas party

Yeah. I had the chance to witness my patron reenacting the scene.

Why does your patron have so many arms, it makes his suit look very odd

HE KEEPS '"""BORROWING""" MINE.

Expect multiple literally do

Please don't say that. There are young and impressionable minds present.

Hey I just refuse to let this Misinformation be free

Is this cause the eye saw you fall down the stairs

I didn't fall it was a graceful but speedy descent.

It got brought up at the Eldritch Christmas party

Yeah. I had the chance to witness my patron reenacting the scene.