Artist Blog

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

BRING IT BACK BOYS

I don’t deserve this

*browses own blog* amazing

Its like it was professionally cultivated for you or something.

ok so... I'm back. Pinterest is losing it's shit, Substack is annoying AF, I'm internet old and will now come crawling back to tumblr as somehow this is the platform that is still functioning???

Ugh Pinterest is on my shit list too. Like, what? Did we not leave enough room for Jesus or something?? Not to mention the “because I said so” with every deactivation. More overbearing than a conservative mother. 🙄

Getting kinda sick of the whole thing where people berate others for using light mode. Like yeah I get that it's mostly a joke, but dark mode on most sites/apps is borderline impossible to use if you have diplopia so I imagine it's way, way worse for people with more severe issues with their eyesight. If your joke is making fun of people for using a feature that's often needed for accessibility it isn't funny, you're just being a dick.

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy

how dare you say we put jam in the printer

I compulsively read signs and stuff. Spiders Georg 🥲

foreshadowing done well makes me go feral like there’s NOTHING better than getting to the end a book or an important storyline moment and realising that the author laced information so intricately into their writing that weren’t noticeable upon first read but when you read back sections they’re light giant red flags like wow writing is amazing

the best stories contain two stories: the one you read the first time, and the one you read every time after that

*covered in blood & in visible distress* i just need to write a list

i feel like i'm going Italian

*insane

Nothing will ever be funnier than people without siblings. You've either sucker punched or been sucker punched by the fartface who won't hesitate to give you their kidney or you're lying

People without siblings writing siblings may not be illegal but I'm sure as hell making fun of you

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations