Dire Wren

rip Diogenes, you would have loved saying "this shit probably goes so hard if you're stupid."

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better

the potion seller discourse is insane. cop walks into a chemist's lab and demands pure undiluted morphine. chemist says hey i don't make this for human consumption. cop insists repeatedly, crying, shitting himself. in no way is the potion seller in the wrong here.

No, see, he's an asshole for not giving the cop the potion to kill himself with.

See i would absolutely agree with this take but being directly responsible for killing the Knight would tarnish the Potion Seller's name across the kingdom. + the Knight is insisting he's going to die in battle anyways.

I once made a potion that kills you but the undying one drank it and lived and it ruined my reptutation so now i'm forced to weave small coats for beetle grubs. i cant complain the beetles have good money but now whenever im spotted on the street the peasants mock me and call me beetleboy

hi beetleboy LOL hows your beetles. loser

touching coals

SCANDALOUS

Fascinating how whenever ffxiv makes a story about women people hate it for some reason. What a mystery.