HausOfDenniSwan

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It's been a while; I apologize. Honey Red Pepper Salmon. Creamed Spinach. Roasted Red Pepper Quinoa (box). I try not to perpetrate because y'all deserve honesty. #momcook #momsofig #healthy #seafood #solodining #intimatedining #fridaynight #dinnerideas #privatecook #dinner #salmon #sweetandspicy #chefsofig #cheflife #cooksofig #kitchentherapy #keidrasheavenlycreations #hausofdenniswan

ADOSC: k_dot8

My dad calls it my “stream of consciousness.” My mom calls it “ramblings.” Whatever it is, it’s all over the place 85% of the time. Hence, the reason this particular blog post is overdue. Here’s to massive procrastination. I am a mother. Not just any mother. I am a single BLACK mother to a little black boy with special needs. Here’s our story. Alexander (Alex for short) was born February 7, 2011 via emergency c-section with MAS (Myconium Aspiraton Syndrom). In a nutshell, he aspirated (inhaled) the myconium that surrounded him while in my uterus slightly before/during birth. He ended up having to be immediately incubated and was hospitalized separate from me due to his needs for the next nine days. I called every day, sometimes multiple times a day at all hours, just to check up on my baby. I wanted to hear every advancement, every setback during a time when most mothers are bonding with their newborns. When I was released four days later, his father and I flew to Baptist Hospital in Little Rock to see him. I couldn’t hold my little human then because he was still incubated but I wanted to see that he was alright. He went through the usual testing and was finally cleared for discharge at the end of those agonizing nine days. The results were squeaky clean and we were a happy family. Or so I thought. Alex started to do this…thing. You know how a motorcyclist looks on those big bikes with their arms way up? Yeah, that’s the way my son looked most times after about 2 months. Coincidentally he would only do this when he was being fed or when he was being fussy so I chalked it up to him being ornery. Little did I know, his “ornery” behavior was the first sign of trouble. Around this same time, Alex also started to cross his eyes. I don’t know about you but that’s something that is just freaky to see, especially with your newborn facing you in a baby papoose so when his pediatrician asked me at his four month if I had any concerns, I talked about it. She said let’s just run some tests to make sure nothing is wrong but it’s usually normal for newborns to have some quirks. Two months later I got some of the worst news of my life. “Ms. Dennis, your son is going to be developmentally delayed. We are not sure for how long but this will be his life for a little while.” That was blow #1. The MRI results showed that there was evidence of bleeding that had occurred before, during, or after birth. Mind you, the MRI results from his 9 day stay were clear and we were the most careful parents we could be so where did this come from? In addition, there was low volume mass on critical parts of his brain connected to development. Diagnosis #1: Global Developmental Delay. Blow #2 came by way of the EEG to study his brain function. Those results showed that those “motorcycle” movements were actually seizures. My baby also had a seizure disorder but not quite Epilepsy. Although the diagnosis are not a result of the other, they do affect each other. Every seizure he has can set him back with any developmental milestone he reaches. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking that that was the end of the drama and we could work on a prognosis. Oh no, baby, we’re not even halfway there. The third blow came from a now routine Genetics appointment after some additional testing was run. Those results? Mom, your son has muscular dystrophy. I felt the breath being knocked out of me. The nurse kept asking me if I was O.K. and I remember saying, “if you ask me one more time, I am going to break down and start crying.” MY GOD. We could not catch a break. Just when I thought our lives couldn’t get any worse, we were told after months of having an incessant “cold” and losing weight that he was just going to be a sick baby with many needs and to basically deal with the difficulty breathing and strange happenings. Alex was terribly sick on top of his diagnosis and it seemed as if no one was listening or seemed to care. By now, we’re 14 months old and going to visit a new doctor that deals with kids needing complex care. Can I just take a moment to go into a praise break for Dr. Kuo?! After a terrible morning of convincing my kid to eat by mouth, he developed this cough that kept on until the appointment. Dr. Kuo took one look at Alex and said, “That’s not a cold. Get him a breathing treatment. Mom, what’s been going on?” Eight months. It took EIGHT long, agonizing, defeated months for someone to FINALLY realize that something was wrong. I broke down, my body violently shaking and crocodile tears flowing, I recounted everything from Day One. I know I’ve been long winded but this has been a LONG time coming. The next seven days were a blur. Alex was immediately sent to the ER for admittance to ACH. We found out the difficulty breathing and loss of suck reflex (at about six months of age) was due to part to his adenoids being so large they were blocking over 80% of his airway. EIGHTY PERCENT. He couldn’t breathe when he was eating. He had his adenoids removed and a gastrostomy (GT) button put in to help with his now dysphagia (failure to thrive). Five years later we are still on the tube and he is thriving, slowly but still progressively. The MD diagnosis was wrong and his records since corrected but the scare I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. We have had MANY set-backs. For the five steps we take forward, we get knocked back three and a half. Since his year of life, there have been many more tests and diagnoses. Many more pieces of equipment to help make his life as typical as possible. The funny thing is that Alex has never had a typical life. Struggle is all that he has known so that is “typical” for him. This has not been an easy journey for either of us and it’s still the beginning. He is my soldier and he goes to battle every single day. We have a support system through faith, my family, his Godparents, and a handful of friends. In an effort to channel my anger, fear, hurt, confusion and frustration I started to cook. Little by little I started to perfect my craft. Copycat recipes to ideas formulated from what I've studied. It’s my time to unwind and decompress. Learning to cook good food so that one day we can sit down at the dinner table and enjoy a meal together while reminiscing on how we got “there.” For now, he’s either in his stander in the center of the kitchen or giving me side-eye from the couch (he's king of that). I'm short, it's our “Haus” time. Alexander is why I cook. It's my therapy. He needs me to be just as strong as he is and sometimes I am his strength when he can’t do it. If I have to gain additional strength from banging pots and pans around while getting burned trying to execute the perfect dish, then so be it. I’ll bare my scars while I proudly rejoice in his accomplishments. We will continue to persevere regardless of what is thrown at us. We have no choice. The name I pondered on for months comes from my country of birth and our last names meshed together. We are the Haus of DenniSwan. Welcome to our world.

Chicken Marsala • Charred Zucchini • Brown Rice/Red Quinoa || #blavityfoodie #cheflife #recipetesting #momcook #kitchenchronicles #therapeuticcooking #hausofdenniswan #marsala #protein #healthy #chefsofig #cooksofig #dinnertime #dinnerideas #privatecook #intimatedining #foodie #foodstagram

Roll ups. The "roll" is comprised of chopped spinach, ground beef, fresh Parmesan cheese, and fresh feta cheese rolled into cooked lasagna noodles. My sauce is a basic tomato sauce with all the Italian seasonings and chopped mushrooms. Sliced provolone cheese and dried onions make the topping. Ermagosh. || #cheflife #chefsofig #homecook #momcook #kitchenchronicles #kitchentherapy #cookingwithkeidra #keidrasheavenlycreations #hausofdenniswan #italian #foodblogger #recipetesting #cheflife #therapeuticcooking #cheesy #mondayvibes #healthy #stayoutofmykitchen #intimatedining #privatechef

They requested. I came through. | Cajun Shrimp & Sausage Alfredo over Fettuccine | #homecook #momcook #intimatedining #mealprep #foodblogger #recipetesting #keidrasheavenlycreations #hausofdenniswan #cajun #cheesy #healthy #protein #veggies #carbs entree #dinnertime #foodgasm #cheflife #foodorbust

Personal Development: construction and plating. •Caper beef filet •Dill cauliflower purée •Steamed asparagus spears •Sautéd baby bella mushrooms and grape tomatoes #kitchenchronicles #kitchentherapy #chefsofig #cooksofig #foodismytherapy #cookingwithkeidra #intimatedining #plating #constuction #color #foodie #foodblogger #foodgasm #hausofdenniswan #keidrasheavenlycreations #cheflife #momcook #datenightspecial #fresh #therapeuticcooking

My family knows I have struggled with frying chicken. A cultural stereotype that I was failing terribly at accomplishing. But these? 🙌🏾 Doubled dredged and battered. || #fried #southern #hausofdenniswan #keidrasheavenlycreations #chicken #pollo #crispy #eggwash #batter #dinner #foodismytherapy #golden #cooksofig #chefsofig #momcook #kitchentherapy #kitchenchronicles #whatdrivethru

Us. #momfiles #sundaybest #motherandson #myprince #hisqueen #melaninated #ourblackisbeautiful #selfie #thelookaway #hausofdenniswan

This Saturday is ending with a Red Berry Ciroc punch. Oh, and orange chicken over jasmine rice with a side of red pepper sesame broccoli. || #foodie #momcook #kitchenchronicles #kitchentherapy #cookingwithkeidra #asianinspired #homemade #norrstaurantsbih #keidrasheavenlycuisine #foodblogger #hausofdenniswan #keidrasheavenlycreations #protein #fiber #recipetesting #foodismytherapy

This Saturday is ending with a Red Berry Ciroc punch. Oh, and orange chicken over jasmine rice with a side of red pepper sesame broccoli. || #foodie #momcook #kitchenchronicles #kitchentherapy #cookingwithkeidra #asianinspired #homemade #norrstaurantsbih #keidrasheavenlycuisine #foodblogger #hausofdenniswan #keidrasheavenlycreations #protein #fiber #recipetesting #foodismytherapy

Shrimp Scampi and Veggies. My zucchini was looking for salvation and, well, this was the demise. Savory with a hint of sweet. My palate is satiated. | #hausofdenniswan #momcook #momtales #kitchenchronicles #kitchentherapy #cookingwithkeidra #chefsofig #intimatedining #foodblogger #keidrasheavenlycuisine #fresh #veggies #protein #seafood #fridaynighteats #solodining #cookingforone #recipetesting #cooksofig

Loaded Baked Potato Soup | #hearty #cooksofig #cookingwithkeidra #copycatrecipe #chefsofinstagram #momcook #hausofdenniswan

Do not take pictures without your lighting! Now carry on.... Grilled flatiron steak | oven roasted garlic and chive yellow potatoes | fresh Caprese salad | #homecook #cheffin #cookingwithkeidra #hausofdenniswan #momcook #momtales #keidrasheavenlycreations #caprese #fresh #mozzerella #maters #protein #cooksofig #chefsofinstagram #therapy #therapeuticcooking #crushingcomfortzones

These happened today. Cherry Cobbler Pies. I haven't eaten one yet but I made them so I know they're amazing. | #keidrasheavenlycuisine #hausofdenniswan #pies #bakerfirst #momcook #therapy #cheflife #bakersofig #cooksofig #chefsofinstagram #poppingcherries #dough