MARTA

i’m so cool and loveable and yet so single what’s up with that

me: cmao (crying my ass off)

dating site for dumbasses called okstupid

Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean??? Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal

There were two professors like this in my department and I was one of like 20 people who was taught by both of them so there was a very small gang of us who knew that Professor Brick Wall and Professor Overshare were married with two kids.

i once told my lecturer i liked his sweater vest and he said “thank you, it ended my relationship”

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

bitch im in bed right now!! how did you know!!

I wonder if anyone has ever written about me

we have achieved peak humanity, it’s all downhill from here

why did i try weed omg ima die i feel like a a dvd player

this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i’m losing it

I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT ASL ONE BEFORE DOES ANYONE HAVE A LINK TO THAT BY ITSELF?