Harper

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

Didnt know i needed to know this

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

The ending of Pokopia is as sweet as it is funny, because I think if I was tragically separated from my pet and years later got a postcard that had a picture of it and a bunch of other animals rebuilding a Wal-Mart, I'd be as touched as I was completely and utterly bewildered.