Girl, Obliterated

Nurses

Therapists

Your dad

teachers

The flaming skull

@carbonmonoxide-detector

@endlace

The pain is more incredibly annoying than unbearable

I can bear it but come on

my boy girlfriend could beat your girl boyfriend in a fight

they should kiss instead :3

they should kiss after :3

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

hey. dont cry. 410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS ok?

might be an outlier here but when i smell my neighbors smoking weed i just smile and nod its like adjacent to hearing christmas carolers for me… good tidings and joy unto you brother

for some reason the theme editor wont let me change this horrible font i picked when i guess i had significantly better eyesight :/ the option for body font is just. not there… thanks babe… 

it’s fine. he’s so large that it would take centuries for the rabies to travel to his brain. He probably already has it. more surface area to bite and all.

i think the website evolving from having sickly twinks in suits as their sexymen to middle aged men in despair is the best thing