Harlow’s Bae

.... You wandered through the house, looking to give Jack a taste of his own medicine.

You spotted said medicine standing outside, a lone silhouette smoking on the back porch. The back door creaked as you pushed it open, causing Urban’s head to turn in your direction.

 "Hey there Y/N.“ he said, moving his joint to the other hand so he could hug you with his free arm. "How’s life?”

You shrugged. “Same as always, Urb. Busy, y'know? How about you?”

Urban took a drag from his joint, pausing for a second before exhaling a long plume of smoke into the night air. 

“Busy too. Jack’s been on tour so we’ve just been travelling non-stop. I love it, but it’ll be nice to have a break, stay in one place for a while.”

“Yeah I can imagine. So, that being said, how are things on the romance front? Anyone special in your life?” you asked teasingly, raising your eyebrows at him. 

“Fuck no. Couple of hook ups but nothing serious. I’m not interested in something like that right now. Besides - hey, are you cold?” Urban interrupted himself mid sentence, squinting at you through the hazy smoke. 

You realised you were shivering, unsurprisingly considering it was January and you were in a thin silk top and a matching skirt that covered far too little of your legs . Before you could answer, Urban was shrugging out of his jacket and handing it to you. You were too cold to try and protest, gratefully taking the warm jacket and draping it over your shoulders. 

“Thanks, man, you’re the best.”

You and Urban talked for a while, him telling stories of things that had happened on tour while you laughed incredulously at some of the antics they got into. You were laughing particularly hard at one story about Jack’s manager Neelam shouting at him, clutching Urban’s arm to steady yourself. In that moment, you heard the squeal of door hinges followed by feet thudding onto the porch. 

You twisted around to find Jack standing there, so tall he was just short of the doorframe. There was silence for what couldn’t have been more than a moment, but you swore it stretched on forever, just you and Jack staring at one another. The spell was broken by Urban clearing his throat, putting out the rest of his joint against the porch railing.

“I’m gonna head back inside. Y/N, great to see you again." 

And with that, he was gone, disappearing through the door leaving you and Jack alone in the frigid air. 

Jack eyed your borrowed jacket, shaking his head before closing the distance between you. 

"What, I leave you alone for five minutes and now you and Urb are a thing? Jeez Y/N, not twenty minutes ago it was that guy Matt. And you say I’m  promiscuous.” he tutted, pretending to look disappointed. 

“What can I say,  I’m not looking to leave here alone tonight.” you shrugged, avoiding the heat of his gaze. Had you been looking at him, you would have seen his expression darken. 

“What, and you’d fuck Urban?”

The undercurrent of anger in his tone left you surprised, but it wasn’t long before it turned to annoyance. Who the hell did he think he was?

“Why not? Urban is an attractive guy. You jealous or something?” you glared at him, unable to refrain from goading him. “If you’re as good as you claim you are, you’d be confident enough in your abilities to not be jealous.”

Jack’s stepped closer to you, invading your personal space. He towered over you, his glare like ice. “Believe me princess, I’m more than confident in my abilities. If I fucked you I’d ruin you for any other guys. You wouldn’t want anyone else." 

"Oh you’re such a fucking liar, is there any bullshit you won’t say to make yourself sound good?” you scoffed, pushing at his chest. He didn’t move an inch. You went to push him again, but in a flash he had gripped both of your wrists in one of his hands. 

You stopped, mesmerised by how his grip swallowed your wrists like they were nothing. While you were distracted Jack headed back inside, pulling you along behind him by your wrists. You struggled to stay upright in your heels, taking quick little steps to keep up with his long legs. You were aware of the looks you drew from the other partygoers, what a strange sight it must have been.  

Jack stopped when he got to the bottom of the stairs, letting go of your wrists to guide you up the steps ahead of him. You watched each step carefully, Jack’s body heat burning the space directly behind you. Once you reached the landing Jack led the way again, purposefully striding towards a door at the very end of the corridor. He stuck his head around the door, examining the room, before pulling you in and shutting the door behind you. 

The room was dark, illuminated only by faint light from the moon trickling in through the open curtains. You backed against the door, heart racing as you anticipated his next move. Suddenly the room lit up, warm light from a bedside lamp allowing you to see again. Jack stood across the room from you, the light casting shadows across his handsome face. 

“Whose room is this?” you asked, feeling awkward around him for the first time in your life. 

“Don’t know. Don’t care either.” he replied, crossing the space to stand in front of you. “And take that fucking jacket off.”

Your core clenched, electricity racing down your stomach into your groin at his words. Part of you wanted to give him everything he wanted, to lay down and let him take you. 

However, the other part of you loved to antagonise Jack. You wrapped the jacket tighter around yourself, smirking at him. 

“Why? Does it bother you that I’m wearing Urban’s jacket? You should really look at that part of yourself Jack, jealousy is a real-" 

Your sentence was cut short by Jack leaning down to crash his lips against yours. You gasped into his mouth, overcome by the sensation of his soft mouth melding with yours. You reached out on autopilot, running your hands along Jack’s sides before sneaking them up underneath his shirt, pressing your cold hands to his hips. Jack nipped at your bottom lip, causing you to yelp, before he pulled away. He shoved the jacket from where it rested on your shoulders, grunting in satisfaction as it landed on the floor. 

"If you’re gonna wear anyone’s fucking jacket it should be mine.” he grumbled, his voice low as his hands trailed down your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “After I fuck you, when I take you home, I’m gonna wrap you up in my jacket so they can all see who you belong to.”

His words hit you like a lead weight in the stomach. They spoke directly to your longing to be claimed by someone as theirs, to be one half of a whole. The fact that is was Jack saying them made the whole thing feel like a fever dream. Despite the impact of his words, you couldn’t resist being a brat, eager to see how far you could push him before he snapped.

“God you’re so full of yourself, Jack. What makes you think for even a minute that I’d want to belong to you?” 

Jack stared at you for a split second before lifting you up into his arms and depositing you unceremoniously on the bed. He stood at the foot of the bed, pulling off the aforementioned jacket. You raised yourself up on your elbows, gazing hungrily at his broad shoulders which tapered down to a small waist accentuated by his skin tight t-shirt. He kicked off his shoes before grabbing you by the ankle and pulling you towards him. Squealing, your hands flew to pull the hem of your skirt back down from where it had bunched above your waist. 

Jack was focused on carefully undoing the straps of your heels,  rubbing his thumb soothingly over the indents the buckles had left on the your ankle. Once your shoes had joined his on the floor, he began to kiss down the length of your leg, featherlight kisses that made your panties damp.  

“You talk such a big game. Do you ever shut up?” he asked in between kisses. 

Your breaths came quick, brain unable to fully process what was happening. “Why don’t you shut me up then, if it bothers you so much?” you challenged, sounding more breathless than you would have liked. 

Jack smirked, continuing to kiss along your leg. His free hand caressed your upper thigh, his fingertips ghosting across the sensitive skin. You shuddered, lust coursing through you so strongly you felt drunk. Jack stopped his ministrations to look at you. 

“‘M barely touching you and you’re already so reactive, baby. What’s that about, hmm? Do you want me to fuck you, is that it?” 

You wanted to nod manically, wanted to beg him to touch you properly, wanted to beg for his cock filling you up. But this was still Jack, and you were still you, so things were never that easy.

“I guess I’m willing to join the ranks of girls you’ve disappointed, someone’s gotta take one for the team.” you taunted him, enjoying seeing his eyes darken as his expression turned to one of annoyance.

He let your leg fall back down onto the bed before roughly shoving up your skirt so it sat in a knot of fabric around your hips. He knelt on the floor, never taking his eyes off your pussy, barely covered in a tiny thong. You felt a sudden flush of embarrassment under his unwavering stare, felt your cheeks burn knowing that the baby blue fabric would do little to hide how it clung to your wet folds, the cotton darker where your wetness had soaked through it. 

Jack trailed a finger across the thin fabric, applying slight pressure when he rubbed over your clit. You bit back a groan, the friction deliciously tantalising. Jack hooked his fingers underneath the string waistband and began to shimmy the thong down your legs. You lifted your hips to allow him to pull it off you completely, before settling back down and allowing your legs to fall open.

“You’re already so wet, sweetheart. Is that all for me?” he asked, his voice low. Before you could think of a smart answer he pushed his hands under your thighs, looping them around to pull you closer to him. His hands stayed there, a firm, reassuring grip at the divot between your hip and thigh. You could feel his breath against your core, the barest of sensations. You were tensed in anticipation, waiting for him to put his mouth on you, to do something, anything. 

“Jack-” you said, your voice sounding desperate even to your own ears. 

“Hmm?” he hummed, lips now pressed against your inner thigh. “Do you want something? You want something from me?” 

You were sure that if he didn’t touch you soon you would burst into flames, lust overcoming your need to be contrary.

“Yes. I need you to touch me, to do something Jack, please, I promise I’ll be so good for you-” 

You were cut off mid sentence as Jack dragged the flat of his tongue along your folds, latching onto your clit and suckling lightly. A gasp tore from your body at the sensation. Jack alternated between sucking at your clit and lapping at you, broad strokes of his tongue that set your nerve endings on fire. You were embarrassingly close already, unwilling to believe that something other than your strongest vibrator could have you so close to cumming so fast. Jack groaned against you, pulling back to run a finger through your pussy before pushing it into you. 

You clutched at the bed sheets, the sudden intrusion introducing a new dimension to your pleasure. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. Don’t know how I’m gonna fit inside you.” Jack remarked, slipping a second finger in and curling them both upwards to press against your g-spot. Your back arched off the mattress, a wail escaping before you clamped your hand down over your mouth to try and muffle the sound. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good.” Jack said before diving back in to lick at your clit. The combination of sensations was too much, your orgasm hitting you like a train. You let out a strangled yell, pleasure coursing through you in waves that threatened to pull you under. Jack was relentless, continuing to suck at you. You ground your pussy against his face, lost in the feeling and prolonging your high.

Once you came down, it became too much and you pushed at Jack’s head, letting him know. Your already uneven breath hitched as he pressed a final soft kiss to your clit before pulling away. You propped yourself up on shaky arms to look at him. He was resting his chin on his folded hands, gazing up at you with sky blue eyes. He would have looked angelic, like something from a painting, were it not for his smug grin and the fact that his beard and moustache glistened with your wetness. 

“Now feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you sounded like someone who was disappointed.” he threw out lazily, a mischievous  glint in his eye.  

“Don’t worry Jackman, there’s still plenty of time.” you teased; acutely aware of the fact that your orgasm had done nothing to quell your hunger for him; if anything it had made it worse. 

“Now, are you gonna fuck me or are you just all talk?”

Jack stood, hands dropping to his waistband to pop open the buttons. He shoved his pants down his legs and kicked them off, leaving him in his grey boxer briefs which strained to contain his erection. There was a wet patch stained with pre-cum on them. Now it was your turn to be mesmerised, watching almost without blinking as he rolled his boxers down, allowing his dick to spring free. You were genuinely speechless for a second. 

Jack had, without a doubt, the nicest cock you had ever seen. It was long and thick, a pretty pink colour with a heavy vein running along the bottom of it. The tip was a deeper reddish pink, swollen and leaking pre-cum that made your mouth water. You would have died there and then just to taste him, feel the weight of him against your tongue. Jack watched you stare, moving his hand along his length. Finally you spoke. 

“There is no way that will fit inside me.” 

Jack smirked. “It will, baby. You were made for me, of course I’ll fit. Gonna fit so perfectly, fill you up just right.” 

He took a step forward, kneeling on the edge of the bed. 

“Now pretty girl, how do you want me to fuck you?”

You scrambled backwards, turning yourself over onto your hands and knees and arching your ass in the air, looking back at him over your shoulder. 

Jack nodded his approval, licking his lower lip at the sight before him. He came closer to you, placing his hands on your waist. You felt him fiddle with the zipper on your skirt, smoothing it out before unzipping and discarding it on the floor. He ran his hands down the arch of your back, cresting the curve of your ass. He lightly spanked you, a barely there sting of pain, then you felt the bed move as he climbed down to hunt in his many pockets for his wallet. You turned to watch him rifle through the contents, pulling out a condom before throwing the wallet back onto the growing pile of your clothes. 

Your pussy clenched at the sight of him tearing open the wrapper with his teeth, rolling the latex down his considerable length. He took his time, enjoying watching you hug your thighs together, unconsciously shifting back and forth to get some kind of friction. Your neediness made you petty. 

“You’re not about to fall at the final hurdle are you, J? Can’t get it up, hmm? It happens to a lot of guys. Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s someone downstairs I could ask to-” you inhaled sharply as you felt the pressure of his dick pressing against your opening. It felt huge, the blunt head catching on your little hole, nudging in just slightly. You tried to wriggle back a little, trying to get him to slip deeper inside of you, but a firm hand on your hip held you still. 

“I’ve been lenient with you babygirl, I’ve let you talk a lot of shit tonight. But if you want me to fuck you, you’re gonna have to put that pretty mouth to good use and ask me real nicely.” Jack said, his demeanour casual despite his compromising position.

Your mind had gone blank, all thoughts of antagonising him wiped clean. All you could think of was how badly you needed him inside of you, needed to feel him filling you up. You were operating on pure primal instinct, wanting him to bite and claim you like an animal. 

“I’m sorry Jack, ’m sorry I’ve been a brat. Want you so badly, need you inside me baby, please, I’m so empty without you.” you spat out, your eyes tightly shut as you focused everything you had on speaking coherently. “Wanna make you cum, let me make you feel good, please Jack.” 

Jack swept his thumb over your hip, caressing the skin. "There’s my good girl.”

He pulled you back against him by your hips, the first few swollen inches sliding into you, stretching you open. You and Jack groaned in unison, both unprepared for how good it felt.

”Fuck.“ Jack cursed, strain evident in his voice.

He pushed in further, opening you up until he was fully seated inside you, the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. You could barely breathe, a tiny whimper escaping your lips. You had never felt so full before, it was a delicious feeling that you knew you were going to be hooked on. 

He pulled out, leaving you whining at the sudden emptiness, before driving back in forcefully. His hips crashed against yours as he began to fuck you, his pace steady but insistent. Jack grunted in satisfaction, relishing the slapping of skin against skin and the slick noises of his cock moving in your soaking wet pussy. You were unable to keep holding yourself up, dropping down onto your elbows. Jack pressed his big palm against the base of your spine, prompting you to flatten your torso to the mattress and arch your ass even higher in the air. The change in angle meant his tip now pinned against your g-spot as he slid in and out. He began to fuck you at a more brutal pace, the head of his cock hitting your cervix. You had never been with someone big enough to do that, the sensation causing pleasure to ripple through you in a totally new way. You began to rock back against him, meeting his thrusts, all the while pressing your face into the duvet to muffle the cries that came from you. Pressure built in your stomach, a familiar feeling that made you all the more desperate. 

”God you’re so big. Wish we didn’t need the condom, wanna feel all of you, feel every inch.“ You mumbled mindlessly, uncaring if he even heard you. "Want you to feel how warm and wet I am on your bare skin.”

A strong hand suddenly fisted in your hair, close to your scalp, pulling your head up from the bed, your upper body following to lean against Jack’s still clothed chest. You were now seated on his lap, legs tucked in between his. You rested your head back against his shoulder and looked up at him, relieved to see that Jack’s eyes were as wild as you imagined yours to be.

“What did you say, baby? You want me to fuck you bare?” he whispered against your ear, his voice velvety. The light touch of his breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine, causing you to clench down on his cock involuntarily. Jack moaned, a guttural sound that stoked the fire of your lust for him even more. 

“Would you- ah, fuck, would you let Urban or that other guy fuck you bare?” he asked, his hands gripping at your hips to bounce you on his cock. “Would you let ‘em cum inside you?" 

You shook your head, eyes rolling back in your head as Jack ground the head of his cock against you. 

"No, no J, I wouldn’t, I promise. Only you. Only want your cum, no one else’s.”

Jack’s fingers dug into you, his clutch betraying how completely gone he was for you.

“Just for me, huh? Now I feel real special, baby.” His head dropped to your shoulder, his teeth scraping along the exposed skin before he bit down with a groan. You whined again, pain and pleasure mingling into one confusing blend. 

“I want to give you my cum so badly, babygirl. Want to completely fill you up until it’s flooding out of you, I wanna make you walk out of here knowing that anyone could see my cum running down your thighs. Wondering if I managed to knock you up.”

Jack shuddered, the pace of his thrusts beginning to falter. One hand snaked around your front to rub at your exposed clit, fingers gliding easily thanks to your wetness. Your mouth fell open, a high keening noise escaping. You were so close, the bubble of pressure in your groin felt ready to burst. 

“Jack please, m'gonna cum.” You managed to plead. You moved desperately against his fingers as they sped up, his cock grinding so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him in your stomach. 

One final thrust that pressed him right against your cervix was enough, and you shouted involuntarily as you came, clamping down on his cock as your orgasm took over. Pleasure travelled through you, electrifying every nerve ending. You rolled your body against him, riding the sensations as you began to tremble from the intensity. You collapsed back against him, completely limp against his chest, struggling to catch your breath. 

“Such a good girl, so good for me.” Jack cooed in your ear, his hands clasped together over the slight distention of your lower stomach caused by his cock. “You did such a good job, baby.” 

Your whole body was damp, hair sticking to the nape of your neck. You craned your head to kiss the column of Jack’s throat, feeling the bristle of the stubble there against your lips. 

“You okay?” he asked, eyes closed as he basked in the attention.

“More than okay. Now I wanna make you feel good, J.” you said hoarsely, nuzzling against his neck and inhaling his scent. 

You felt him nod, kissing the top of your head. “Lie on your back for me then.”

You complied, your movements uncoordinated, not unlike a new born giraffe trying to find its feet. Jack slipped out of you as you rearranged yourself and you grimaced at the emptiness. 

You pulled your top off, flinging it over the edge of the bed before lying back, the sheets cold against your newly exposed skin. Jack knelt between your legs, one hand lazily stroking his cock. 

“You are so fucking hot.” he remarked, running a hungry glance down your now completely naked body. Your cheeks flushed under his scrutiny.

“Take your shirt off.” you said, changing the subject. 

Jack grinned, grabbing the neck of his shirt and yanking it over his head. He threw it at you, and you glared at him, batting it aside. 

“You know, people don’t usually get completely naked in situations like this.” he commented. “It’s usually a clothed affair, you know, for speed and discretion.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Of course you’d know, you slut.”

Jack hovered over you, propping himself up with his hands. His face was inches from yours when he spoke. 

“I think it’s rich of you to call me a slut, when you’re the one who just let me bend you over some stranger’s bed and make you scream in a house full of people we know.” 

Your eyes went wide as you remembered that you were, in fact, at a party. With your friends. 

“Do you think they heard?” you asked, mildly embarrassed at the thought. Jack’s grin was smug. 

“I’m counting on it. I’m trying to mark my territory here.” 

“This your territory, Jack?” you questioned, running your hands along your curves, fingers dipping into the wetness of your cunt. “Then prove it.”

Jack growled, diving in to nip at your neck, his perfect teeth sharp against your skin. He bit along your neck to your shoulder, periodically deepening his bite by suckling on the flesh between his teeth. You knew you were going to be littered with bruises tomorrow. 

“You’re damn right this is my territory. These perfect tits? Mine.” he said against your skin, moving his head down to take your nipple into the wet heat of his mouth, sucking it for just a split second before letting it go. He got back up onto his knees, his hand going to cup your mound. 

“This pretty little pussy? Mine. It’s all mine.”

You blinked up at him, the raw possessiveness in his tone shocking you. He loomed over you, one hand going back to his dick, still hard inside the condom. 

“I would love nothing more than to take this off and fuck you raw, feel how tight and wet your walls really are as they grip my cock.” Jack confessed, his voice becoming the only sound in the world for you. “Press myself right up against your womb as I cum, maybe even get you pregnant. Watch as you grow heavy with my child, watch how your body changes because of me.” 

You were so turned on by his words that all you could do was stare at him, open mouthed, listening to him describe what had been your deepest, darkest fantasy for some time. 

“Then I’ll have truly marked my territory. Then every man who looks at you will know that I was the one to claim you, that I filled up your cunt until it was overflowing with my cum.” Jack exhaled shakily, clearly grappling with himself. 

 You recognised those same urges battling inside you, lust clouding your brain until you couldn’t form a coherent thought. 

“You can do it.” you blurted out, your heart slamming against the walls of your chest. “I want you to do it.” 

Jack closed his eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths as he tried to hold himself back.

“Please, Jack.” you whispered, barely audible. 

But he still heard, and it was your soft plea that melted away what few rational thoughts he had left. 

He reached down to yank the condom off, immediately grateful to be free from the restriction. He was rock hard, the sight of you offering yourself up to him enough like something out of a dream. With one hand on his cock, Jack guided himself to your slit, the plush head parting your folds and bumping up against your clit. He gritted his teeth, trying to refrain from just shoving into you and fucking you until he came. Your hands gripped the duvet tightly, your teeth clamped on your lower lip as you drank in the feeling of Jack rubbing his bare dick along the length of your soaking pussy. 

“Put it in, please.” You managed to get out between shallow breaths.

Jack angled his cock downwards, pressing into you with ease this time as your hole gladly stretched to accommodate him. He threw his head back and cursed gutturally, your clenching walls pulsating around him providing him with the most intense sensation he had ever experienced. 

“How the hell are you so tight? Gripping me like a goddamn vice.” he panted, beginning to move his hips slowly. You were completely unable to reply, too focused on being able to feel every ridge and vein of his cock inside you, on how much better the drag of his cock felt without the latex between you. You were almost sure that you could cum again from this alone. 

Jack was spellbound by the sight of you gripping his dick as it moved in and out of you, the skin gleaming with your slick. He picked up your legs from where they were relaxed against his sides and hitched them up over his hips, pressing himself forward to lean over you again. You locked your ankles together behind his back and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. He kissed you hungrily, his mouth devouring yours. 

"There’s no way I’m gonna last baby, you feel so fucking good around me, got me so close already.” he mumbled against your lips as he continued thrusting. 

"Me too, so close.” you gasped, unsure of how the hell it was even possible since you had never cum from just penetration before. but that feeling was unmistakable. 

“Fuck me harder, Jack. Make me cum on your cock.” 

Jack buried his head against your neck, his hands on either side of your head as he began to thrust in earnest. The air was filled with the smacking sounds of his hips against yours, interspersed with gasps and groans that came from both of you. Your orgasm built and built, left you feeling like you were suspended tightly by a thread. One particularly firm thrust that hit just right was enough to snap the thread, sending you into free fall. You let out a wail, clenching down impossibly tight as your back lifted off the mattress, arching into Jack’s body. Distantly, you were aware of Jack grunting, his rhythm becoming disjointed as he chased his own high. 

"Cum in my pussy, baby.” you whispered to him, your voice raspy. “It’s only for you, you’re the only person to ever do it, only person I ever want to fill me up like this.” 

Jack made a strangled sound, rutting into you frantically until he came inside you, crying out. You could feel him pulse deep inside, the warmth blooming as ropes of his cum painted your cervix. He bit down on your shoulder in an attempt to quiet himself, his cock twitching. 

You tangled your fingers in his curls, stroking the back of his head as he came down. He was panting, nuzzling his face against your neck, breathing your scent in deeply. 

Eventually, he pulled away from you, holding himself up on his elbows. His pupils were still blown wide, but his expression was soft, softer than you had ever seen on him before. His torso was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his KY chain catching the light as it dangled from his chest. 

“I think I may be in love with you after that.” he said jokingly, but his eyes betrayed the true emotion behind what he had said.

You had always loved that about him, loved how expressive his eyes were, always acting as a whistleblower for his real feelings. Despite the fact that you wanted to confess your feelings for him, tell him that you had been in love with him forever, you knew now wasn’t the time. 

"I get that a lot.” you said instead, shrugging blithely. Jack narrowed his eyes, one hand coming down to wrap around your throat. 

“I think I liked you better when you were begging me to fuck you.”

You stared back at him defiantly, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes. 

"And I think I liked you better when you were fantasising about cumming in me.”

Jack snorted, the tension between you two broken in an instant. 

“Yeah, that was uhh… an interesting choice. Didn’t think you’d be into that.” He admitted. "Obviously I am, but y'know, it’s not usually something I pull out on the first hook-up.”

“I can see why some people might find it a little off-putting.” you agreed, giggling at how sheepish he looked. 

“Not you though.” he shot back, watching your face for a reaction. 

“No, not me though.” 

There was a moment of silence where you stared at one another. This close you could see the smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose, how his long eyelashes brushed against his cheek, the sandy colour of his moustache peppered with copper coloured hairs. He was beautiful, always had been. 

"Jack, no offence but you’re really heavy.” you finally said, breaking away from his intense stare. 

He pretended to be offended before pulling back, his now soft dick sliding out of you, causing you both to wince. Without his cock to plug it, cum began to leak out of you, a completely unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant feeling. Jack sat back on his heels, fixated on the white fluid pooling at the entrance to your pussy, bright against the flushed red of your skin. 

“Never done that before.” he said, a note of reverence in his voice. “It’s even better than I imagined.”

His fingers gently opened your folds, scooping up the cum that had begun to drip and rubbing it across your cunt. He pushed his cum back inside you, making sure to be careful to not hurt you in your sensitive state. 

|You gotta hold on to that now, baby. Gotta keep it safe for me, where it belongs.”

You nodded mutely, not trusting yourself to not confess your feelings there and then. Jack sighed, pulling his hand away from you and getting off the bed. He bent down to pick up your clothes and hand them to you before gathering his own. You pulled your shirt over your head, standing up to put on your skirt. By the time you had done that, Jack had his top on and was messing with the buttons on his pants, his back slightly turned to you. 

“I guess we had better get you Plan B, huh?” he said, trying to keep his tone conversational. 

You stopped adjusting your skirt and walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. 

“Jack, I have an IUD. I know you don’t actually want kids, I wouldn’t have taken that risk otherwise.” you said. “I can still take it if you want to double down though.” 

Relief was clear on his face, his visions of his career in flames fading like a mirage. 

“No, it’s okay. I trust you.” 

You gave him a reassuring smile and went to find your shoes, but he pulled you back against him, his hands cradling your face, making you look directly at him. 

"Did you mean it?” he whispered, his gaze searching. “Did you really want me to be the only one to do that to you?”

Your heart ached, and you knew you couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t keep being deceitful and pretending to be someone you weren’t.

“Yes. I meant it. Whenever… whenever I thought about that, it was always… it was always with you.” 

You swallowed hard, your voice sounding small. Jack closed his eyes, a small smile breaking out across his face. He bent down to kiss you softly, just the fleeting press of his lips against yours, before he pulled away. 

"We have a lot of talking to do. But not now.”

You laughed, suddenly aware again that you were in fact, in the middle of a random bedroom during a house party, while people partied probably not metres away from where you had encouraged your long time best friend to impregnate you. You had to laugh, the scene was straight out of a shitty movie. You moved towards the bed, catching sight of your heels on the floor. 

“I don’t wanna wear my shoes.” you whined, the idea of having to do up the finicky buckles seeming nightmarish. 

Jack came up behind you, draping the now cold leather of his jacket over your shoulders. It swamped you, almost reaching your knees, but its weight was comforting and it smelled like him. You slipped your arms into the sleeves, flapping the oversized cuffs where they had swallowed your hands. 

Jack watched you, a warm feeling in his chest. This was how it was supposed to be. You were in his jacket, bruises his teeth had made beginning to bloom deep purple on your neck, his cum trickling down your legs. The primal urge that always seemed to overtake him when he was with you was finally quiet, satisfied at the sight before him. 

“Grab your shoes, princess.” he said, swatting at your ass to prompt you. You picked them up by the ankle straps, already prepared to complain about putting them on. Before you could open your mouth, you found yourself in the air, thrown over Jack’s shoulder. You yelped, startled by the fact that the world was suddenly upside down. 

“What the hell are you doing, Jack?!” you exclaimed, your free hand grabbing fistfuls of his t-shirt to anchor yourself. Once Jack had made sure your skirt was covering you, he set off towards the door. 

“You said you didn’t want to wear your shoes. I’m providing you with a solution.” he said, a pathway quickly clearing for him in the hall. 

You tried to avoid eye contact with anyone, hoping your hair obscured your features. The stairs were bumpy, especially since Jack took them quickly, as though he wasn’t carrying an adult woman over one shoulder. You were grateful you couldn’t see people’s reactions to the two of you coming down the stairs in a position that really only had one possible explanation. 

Jack stopped walking, using his free arm to toss something across the room.

“There’s your jacket back, Urb. She doesn’t need it anymore, I took care of her.”

You could hear from his voice that he was grinning stupidly and you rolled your eyes, amazed at how he could still behave like a teenager. 

He opened the front door and walked out into the night, his long strides effortlessly covering the distance to where his car waited. He knocked on the window to get the driver’s attention, saying something unintelligible to him with a laugh. 

You heard the car door open, and Jack lifted you off his shoulder, carefully setting you down on the heated leather seat. 

“Scoot, I wanna get in too. It’s cold.” he said, poking at you. 

You shuffled across the seat, moving to the opposite side of the car. Your effort was fruitless, because the second Jack was seated and had the door closed behind him, he pulled you flush against his side. You tucked your head under his chin, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“M'tired.” you mumbled against his chest, suppressing a yawn. 

Jack kissed the top of your head, stroking your back soothingly. 

“You can sleep, baby. I’ll look after you.”

“Can we go to your house?”

“'Course we can. I’ll tuck you in nice and cosy and we can cuddle.” he said, a huge grin on his face. 

He looked down at you, at your small frame curled around him. 

"I love you.” he whispered against your hair, heart so full it felt like all his feelings would spill out. 

She missed a lot of things. She missed the details, she missed the laughter, she missed the intense feelings, she missed the wordless revelations. She missed waking up to him kissing her shoulder, just as much as she missed poking his waist when he snored too loud and didn’t let her sleep. She missed laying in bed while he sang in the shower, just as much as she missed staring at him while he scrolled down his phone in silence. She missed choosing a new color for his nails, and threading her fingers through his hair. She missed his cheeky comments, and his thoughtful questions, and his silent touches. She missed his affection. She missed being held between his arms. She missed his lips. She missed his eyes. She missed his tongue. She missed his stubble. She missed finding new shades inside his caring green eyes. And she really, truly missed their whispered conversations.

The idea of Harry blatantly lying to her still didn’t make sense. No matter how much she tried to convince herself, the voice inside her still argued back. The voice inside her still advocated for Harry.

Maybe that woman wasn’t there to see him. Maybe she just wanted to talk to him. Maybe she had something to deliver. Maybe they were still friends. Maybe…

She’d said “our home”, hadn’t she? She’d called his home, their home. And the more Lia thought about it, the more she knew there was absolutely nothing inside his apartment that indicated another person sharing the space with him. Not until Lia, at least. Lia had left a toothbrush there, a couple of towels, clothes… Even his fridge had her own stuff, things he didn’t buy before but had started to because of her—like milk, ice cream, and yogurt.

But… The woman had also said she had arrived earlier than she was supposed to. She’d said she wanted to surprise him. H. She’d called him H. How could that be just a coincidence? And baby, she’d also called him baby. And she’d said love you too—not I love you, but I love you too. Had Harry said I love you first?

Harry had never said he loved Lia. He’d said he loved many things about her, but never that he loved her. Was it supposed to be the same?

Lia couldn’t stop going over their first night and the conversation they had about his past relationship. She had specifically asked him if it was over between them. Harry had said they hadn’t seen each other for months, and he’d said he wasn’t going back to her. He had said that. Right? Or was she so naive she’d imagined things? No. He had said it. She was convinced he had.

And she couldn’t imagine Harry being so cruel…

She also hadn’t imagined Cole being a liar… Though. And yet he was. For a year.

They had dated for five years and he’d spent one of them lying to her face every single day.

How long had she been with Harry? Three months? How could she even trust him that much?

Footsteps tapped away, and her vacant eyes followed the sound back to the kitchen. It only took a couple of seconds for Jillie to walk through the door with a soft smile in her lips and one mug in each hand.

“There you go,” she said, extending one of her arms. Lia straightened up and pulled her legs up on the couch, crossing them and rearranging the blanket on her lap before accepting the hot drink with a nod of her head.

“Thank you.” Lia smiled, too. Or at least she tried to. She didn’t feel like smiling, to be honest, but having a friend making her breakfast warmed up her heart a little.

She held the mug with both hands, looking at its content and taking a deep breath in. The smell of coffee was delicious—it entered through her nose, watered her mouth and rumbled into her stomach. She hadn’t had coffee since Sunday, and she hadn’t realized how much she wanted one until then.

Taking a seat next to her, Jillie sipped her own drink.

“You look better,” she said, and Lia sensed the cautious tone in her voice, “do you feel better?”

Lia hid behind the mug, filling her mouth with coffee. “Mhm.”

Jillie had made her a latte, because that’s what she always drank. Until Sunday, Harry had been the one making them for her. Every morning. He knew how she liked it, and every time she took the first sip she would close her eyes to feel it deliciously drop down her throat. Jillie’s tasted good, too, but she didn’t feel tempted to close her eyes—it had a little too much milk, and an extra spoonful of sugar.

“Hey,” Jillie whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder, “is my coffee that bad?”

Lia chuckled, something she hadn’t done at all since Sunday, and her shoulders trembled lightly. Sniffing, she took one hand to dry up the tears she hadn’t noticed falling down her cheek.

“I’m sorry. I just… Keep thinking about him.”

She felt Jillie’s fingers squeezing her shoulder, and she rolled her lips inside her mouth, sniffing again.

“I know, don’t worry about it. There’s no rush to actually feel better.”

Lia nodded, and Jillie’s hand left her shoulder to turn the TV on. Sighing, she snuggled against the backrest again, while they finished their coffees in silence.

For the last three days, time had gone by chaotically. She couldn’t remember Sunday at all, or maybe she simply didn’t want to remember. She knew she had eventually called Molly. She knew her friend had picked her up and drove her to Jillie’s apartment, and she knew she’d been there since then.

She also knew she’d avoided all and every single one of Harry’s calls and texts.

Monday and Tuesday? Who knows. She’d been crying a lot, sleeping a lot. She hadn’t eaten that much, she had only taken a shower once.

Knowing she couldn’t hide forever, by Wednesday morning she finally dragged herself out of the bedroom. And there she was… Crying over a latte.

To be honest, she had already cried twice, but at least she was out of bed.

At least.

Everything inside her felt like hanging by an “at least”.

At least she had friends.

At least she got a week off at work.

At least her mother hadn’t called yet.

At least Harry didn’t know where Jillie lived.

“I gotta answer a couple of emails from work, but… Can we talk first?” Jillie put her mug on the table, and Lia felt her stomach tightening. She didn’t want to talk, especially if it involved the drama she had caused the last couple of days. Still, she hummed in agreement.

Jillie nodded, and turned a little to face her.

“Molly went to the bar yesterday, talked to Harry,” she said, speaking calmly, yet firmly. Lia kept looking at her lap, focused on her almost empty mug. What did he say? Did he miss her? Was he thinking about her every single second of the day? Was he replaying every single second they had spent together? Was he dreaming about her? Did he still care about her? Had he really lied to her? “He said he wants to talk to you, and he doesn’t want to leave your stuff at the bar.”

As if bringing her chest back to life, Lia felt her heart beating inside her. Her stomach wasn’t moving anymore, because her chest was doing all the work again—moving up and down, up and down. Quickly, deeply.

Chewing the inside of her cheek, she slid one sweaty hand over her thigh and swallowed the tears down her throat. She couldn’t help the new ones from flooding her eyes, though, and soon she was clutching the mug between her thighs and hiding her face behind her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Jillie’s arm pulled her by the shoulders, and the first sob of the day instantly left her mouth. “You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to, you know that, right?”

Lia nodded, feeling the pressure of Jillie’s chin on top of her head. It wasn’t that Lia didn’t want to talk to him, though. It wasn’t that Lia didn’t think he deserved to tell his side of the story. It wasn’t that Lia didn’t plan on giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was just… She just wasn’t as strong as she wished she were. And that’s all.

She was afraid of sitting in front of him and forgiving him without even hearing an explanation. She was terrified of listening to him and believing every single one of his words, just like she had believed Cole’s. Because she wanted to forgive him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to be held by his arms again. She wanted to fall asleep breathing against his skin again. She wanted to make him feel good again. She wanted to share whispered confessions with him again.

She wanted him.

She wanted Harry like she’d never really wanted anyone else. To the point where she felt she would forgive him even if he told her he had, in fact, cheated on her.

And she shouldn’t, right? That’s… That feeling was bad, wasn’t it?

Shouldn’t she be angry at him? Shouldn’t she be trying to move on? Shouldn’t she be hating on him and pointing out every single one of his flaws?

Why couldn’t she? Why was she so desperate to be with him again? Why was she so desperate to forget everything that had happened?

Why did she trust him that much?

Lia needed time.

Yeah. She needed time. Time would help her. Time would allow her to breathe by herself, to think at her own pace and form and shape. That’s all she needed, time.

— — —

Lia it’s been a week

Are you really going to shut me out like this?

Without even letting me explain things to you?

Staring at the phone, Lia tapped her foot at a brisk pace, creating a steady and quick beat everytime her shoes hit the ground.

She knew it wasn’t fair, she also knew she wasn’t entitled to anything. She knew she couldn’t run forever, though, just like she knew she shouldn’t force herself to do anything she didn’t want to. Well, honestly, that sounded kind of hypocritical, because she already had—she’d been forcing herself to stay away from him the entire week.

“We’re here.”

Looking up, she saw the front door of her building. It was dark, and it was raining, and it was poetic because it matched her heart. Lia couldn’t care less about poetry, though. She thanked the driver and grabbed her keys tightly between her fingers, knowing she couldn’t hide inside that car for a week, like she’d hidden inside Jillie’s place.

She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t. She repeated those words like a mantra. She’d chosen to go back to her apartment at night, around the time she knew he usually had a break, but it was raining, so he wouldn’t be outside. She was risking it, because of traffic and because she had pushed and waited until the last minute, because she wanted to stay at Jillie’s as long as possible… Even though that meant probably seeing him. Which she didn’t want to, of course. She didn’t.

“Lia!”

Closing her eyes, relief flooded through her body as a long exhale escaped between her lips. He sounded just as husky as she remembered. He yelled her name with the intention to be heard, but she couldn’t detect any emotion behind it. She didn’t want to see him, though. Remember? She didn’t. So she walked inside the building anyway. She held the door, giving him time to cross the street because she knew she would be able to close it before he was inside, anyway. Because she didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to listen to him. She didn’t.

“Stop!”

His hand banged against the door just as she was about to let it finally slam in front of his face. She gasped, and the memories of that first night together rushed through her mind. That night when he’d told her he wasn’t going back to that woman, although he had. Or maybe—No. He had. The evidence was there. He had lied to her.

“Lia, what the fuck?” Taking a step forward, he invaded her building and her space with the same intensity he always had. At least she didn’t have any safe bubbles for him to burst anymore. He was wet from the weather. His eyes were dark, narrowed and pulsing with… Something. They seemed heavy, and tense, just like every muscle in his face. There was a line between his brows, and his nostrils kept flaring as he breathed loudly through his nose. “How—how can you shut me out like this?! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!”

“I—” she swallowed, taking a step back and shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

The way his brows snapped together even further made her look at his feet.

“Why? Huh?” he barked, making her close her eyes for a moment. “Because you saw something you didn’t like? Something you didn’t understand? That’s how you solve things?!”

She shook her head again. No. Harry had lied to her. She had taken some time to think clearly, that’s all. Because she’d been there before and she didn’t want to forgive him and forget about herself. She didn’t want to be naive, and stupid.

“Please, Harry…”

“No!” Another step forward, and she flinched at the sound of his voice. She didn’t want him to be mad at her, she didn’t want him to yell at her. Because she didn’t want him to leave. Although she didn’t want him to stay, either. “Do you think you’re the only one who’s allowed to feel things? Huh? Why do I have to keep worrying and thinking about you all the damn time, when you don’t think about me even for one bloody second?!”

Her eyes shifted nervously around the space. She wanted to think clearly, to answer coherently, but gathering her thoughts together seemed impossible. Everything was just a mess. She was just a mess. Maybe she needed more time. Maybe she had come back too soon…

“That’s… That’s not true… You… You… I mean…”

“Me, me, me! It’s always me, right?!”

Blinking her tears away, she gulped down. She didn’t think she would be the one justifying herself. Wasn’t Harry the one who should be apologizing? He knew how hard it was for her, and he always found a way to make her feel better. He always knew what to say, and he didn’t force her because he was aware of how much she struggled. She was hoping he would run to her to apologize, not blame her. Shouldn’t she be the one blaming him?

Lia’s wide-opened and restless eyes found him again, and she could feel her own pained gaze. He, on the other side, was mad, she could tell. His entire body steamed with anger.

“No… But you…”

What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do? What would fix things? What would make the pain disappear?

“What, Lia?! Tell me! What have I done to you to justify the way you treated this past week?”

Her forehead puckered while her eyebrows rose. “You—”

“I’m the only one who’s always messing it up!”

She shook her head. “No—”

“And you are the perfect one here!”

She squeezed her fingers into fists, then released them, then squeezed them again. “That’s not—”

“You completely disappeared, Lia!”

“Stop!” she finally shot back. Her yell came with a sob, though, and she covered her mouth with one hand. She took a deep breath and waited a moment before speaking again. “You…” she breathed out, whipping a tear falling down her cheek, “you told me you were single, Harry… You told me… You told me you didn’t want her anymore…”

She couldn’t stop crying now. Everything in front of her was blurry, but she heard him sigh, and she felt him taking a step forward. She wanted him to hug her. She needed to hug him. But he didn’t, so she kept crying into her hands.

“Yes, I told you that. And yet you decided to run away instead of talking to me. No matter what I do, or what I say, you’ll never trust me, right?”

She’d seen her there, though. She was there! She’d heard the conversation on the phone.

Nobody told her, she saw it, she heard it. How could she believe anything different from what she’d seen and heard? Why would she believe anything different than what she’d already experienced before?

“Do you…” She sniffed, roughly whipping her tears from her face with the sleeves of her sweater. “Do you have any idea of what it was like to see her there?”

Another sigh left Harry’s lips. He was standing in front of her, with his hands hidden inside the pockets of his black wide-legged pants. He wasn’t even trying to hug her, to touch her, and that made her heart beat heavily and painfully inside her.

When he spoke again, his voice was calmer than before, but still thick and heavy. “Do you have any idea what it was like coming to an empty apartment, not knowing where you were, or why you weren’t there? Do you know what it was like calling you, texting you, and not hearing a word back from you? Huh? Do you?”

“No,” she breathed out, shaking her head, “but—”

“Do you know what it was like to spend three days wondering what could’ve happened to you? Waiting for you to open the door, watching to see if you were at least walking in or out the building? Do you know what it was like going to sleep praying that I had actually done something to piss you off, ‘cause that was less painful than the idea of something happening to you? I mean, I didn’t even know if you were alive or not, Lia.”

She wrapped her arms on her stomach, hugging herself. Of course she hadn’t thought about all that. She knew she shouldn’t have ignored him, she knew running off wasn’t fair. But she hadn’t thought he would worry that much. She figured he would understand her side. She imagined he would move on with his life while she cried alone at home. Or at Jillie’s. Or whatever.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah… Well…” He shrugged, sending her a long, pained look before turning his head to the side and shifting his sight to the wall.

She felt her lungs contracting, making it hard for her to breathe. Her chest hitched, and she bit down on her bottom lip to stop herself from sobbing again. Tightening her own grip around herself, she clutched her stomach to stop the pain inside it.

“You lied to me…” Lia whispered, hoping he would whisper something back to her. An apology, maybe, or an explanation, perhaps. Something that would stay only between them, soothing the hurt and bringing them back together.

But he didn’t. Instead, he glared at her with furrowed brows and protested, “I never lied to you.”

Her chin trembled, just like her legs. She probably needed to sit down, but she couldn’t, because they were still standing in the middle of her building’s lobby.

“I saw her there.” Staring back at him, Lia saw spots flashing in front of her, so she blinked rapidly, forcing more tears to fall down her cheek. She didn’t bother drying them up anymore. “It didn’t even cross your mind that I could’ve seen her, and that’s why I ran off?”

“You really don’t trust me at all, do you?”

“Of course I do!” She let her arms fall back to her sides, fidgeting with her fingers as she tried to speak without breaking down again. “That’s why it hurts so much! Because I trusted you and I saw her, Harry!”

“Then what, you think I met her in my own apartment, where you were staying with me, and kept texting you and calling you non stop anyway? You think I would do that to you, or to her? That’s what you think of me?”

Her heartbeat seemed to slow down. Of course not. She didn’t think he would do that, but… It wasn’t about him, was it?

She took a deep breath, then shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been the first time.”

Harry’s brows knitted and, for a moment, she saw the puzzled look in his foggy green eyes. “What?”

“My… My ex-boyfriend…” Lia slid one hand up and down her arm, offering herself some strength to speak. “We dated for five years, and we used to live together. He cheated on me inside our own apartment for a year, I never suspected anything so… I don’t know.”

Harry ran one hand through his hair, then down his face, and to the back of his neck. He pinched his own skin, holding his elbow up to the ceiling and glancing briefly to the floor before looking back at her. “Well, I’m not him. And I didn’t cheat on you.”

“What other explanation is there besides she being there to see you, then?”

“A very plausible one!” He held his arm up in the air, then let it fall down quickly. “You would know if you had given me the chance to tell you.”

She bit her lip. She wanted him to explain himself, she didn’t want to fight with him. She really didn’t.

“Tell me now, then,” she whispered, another attempt of making things better again.

“What for?” He shrugged, both hands hidden inside of his pockets once again. “So I can open myself to you, tell you something I never shared with anyone, and tomorrow you run away from me again?”

“That’s…” Lia felt her heart being squeezed and pulled out of her body. “That’s not fair…”

He shook his head, breaking eye contact and hiding his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I should’ve told you, I know that… But it’s something I’m really ashamed of, and I was scared that as soon as I told you about it, you would’ve run away from me.”

“I wouldn’t.”

A humorless laugh left his mouth, and he dropped his head back, looking at the ceiling before staring at her again. “Right. Isn’t that what you did last week?”

Well… Yeah… Maybe? But she wanted to fix things. She really wanted to.

Lia took a tiny and timid step forward. “Can we… Can we go upstairs, and talk?”

Harry darted his sight away, and she watched his chest move up and down as he took a long and deep breath. “Don’t think that’s a good idea, ‘m sorry.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Lia felt the coldness hitting deep down her soul. She felt frozen, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe anymore. He didn’t want to go with her.

He was finally tired of her, wasn’t he? It was actually happening, right in front of her. One way or another, she’d found a way to ruin everything again.

“I really wish you had talked to me, ‘cause I would have explained myself to you, I really would,” he murmured, and Lia took one hand to her chest, tightening her fingers around her sweater as if she could hold her heart and soothe the pain down. “I didn’t know you’d seen Alicia, I only found out because Molly told me. I never saw her, I didn’t know she was back, I… I never talked to her. I told you I wasn’t going back to that, and I didn’t lie. So I spent days freaking out, worried about you… I know I should’ve told you, but I wish you trusted me enough to ask me about it. I can’t… I can’t do all the trust all the time, y’know? Things will happen and… You should feel comfortable enough to talk to me by now.” He hung his head down, shoulders moving up and down as he took deep breaths. “You sent your friend to break up with me, Lia. You sent her to get your stuff back from my place… You wouldn’t even… I… I can’t.”

Still with her eyes closed, she repeated the only words she could think of, “I’m sorry, I know, I’m sorry—”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” he murmured. His voice was thick, and a long, low sigh echoed around her. He sounded sad, and Lia’s heart shattered into a million pieces. “For what it’s worth, I really didn’t cheat on you. It never even crossed my mind, so… I wasn’t just like your ex.”

Blinking her eyes open again, Lia felt her throat tight and sore. “Of course you’re not… Harry… You’re—”

“I have to go.” She heard him sniff, but he kept looking at the floor and she couldn’t see his eyes. “I’ll leave your stuff at the bar. I have the night off next Friday so you can pick everything up, then. Or ask Molly. I don’t know… Do whatever you want.”

Lia opened her mouth to speak, but Harry turned around and opened the door before she could let even a single word out.

When she blinked her tears away, Harry was gone.

— — —

Friday night was the coldest, windiest and wettest day of the week. The tapping of raindrops was persistently and heavy, and the thunders made her flinch from time to time. Lia stood in front of Harry’s door with shaking hands and a wrinkled nose, biting the inside of her cheek and breathing in and out the adrenaline that was rushing through her body.

How dare he? Honestly! How dare he be such an asshole? Showing up out of nowhere just to leave her like that? Lia cracked her knuckles. She couldn’t wait to yell at him. She just couldn’t. That was all she could think about.

When he opened the door, she decided to ignore his puffy face, his apparently red eyes and his drooping shoulders—and how cozy and comfy and warm he looked. She was there to yell at him, and that’s all she was going to do.

“How dare you?!” She took a step forward, clenching her hands into fists and squinting her eyes at him. He blinked, and his lips parted. Lia didn’t give him time to speak. “I was here and I saw your ex here, Harry! How can you—”

“Sshhhhh!” Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her inside the apartment and closed the door. “Keep your bloody voice down!”

“What?!” Lia scoffed, putting her hands on her waist as she glared at him. He stood with his back to the door. She wished she wasn’t wearing a jacket, just so she would feel his fingers on her skin. “Why?”

“Because she lives in this building, that’s why!” He rolled his eyes, releasing her arm and walking further into his living room. The TV was on, his couch was messy. There were boxes of pizza around, a blanket, a pillow…

“She… What? Since when?”

“I don’t know, Lia,” he breathed out. Sitting on the couch, he hid his face behind both hands, digging his fingertips on his forehead. “She was already here when I moved in.”

“Your ex lives in your building?” She looked around his apartment, as if the answer was hidden or laying in between those four walls.

“Not my ex, but… Yeah.” Placing his elbows on his knees and intertwining his own fingers together, he shrugged.

“On this floor?”

“Nop. Two floors down.”

Lia nodded, biting the inside of her lip and settling her eyes directly on him. He kept staring at the TV, and she felt heat flushing through her body. Walking to the object that was getting all his attention, she pressed the button she knew would turn it off, then swayed on her feet to look at him again. In silence, he took one hand up to his face, rubbing his eyes while Lia kept watching him.

“So she’s your neighbor? Your ex is your neighbor?”

“Lia, for the hundredth time, she’s not my ex.” He sounded bored, or tired, or annoyed. She couldn’t tell exactly. But he wasn’t even looking at her, and she still wanted to yell at him.

Snapping her brows together, she snorted a mocking laugh. “What difference does it make? Huh?”

“A lot, actually.” He shrugged, again, and finally raised his eyes to her face. “What do you want? Why are you here?”

Because I miss you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He sighed. “Lia—”

“No! I— I mean it, Harry! I know I disappeared and that wasn’t nice… But damn you! Why didn’t you tell me she was your neighbor? Why?! Do you know how much you could’ve avoided if you had just told me that?!”

“I don’t think I would’ve avoided anything. I think you would’ve found another reason to run away.”

“Wow,” she breathed out, shaking her head and crossing her arms on her chest, “that’s completely unfair, and you know that. You know how hard I tried, how many times I’ve apologized and blamed myself for—”

“I know! Of course I know that!” he shot back, opening his arms wide before hitting his chest, “and what about me, huh? You didn’t even give me the chance to apologize to you, or to explain myself to you! You just ran away!”

“Of course I ran away, Harry! I’m not stupid! I saw her here and I’m not stupid… I…”

“What?”

Pulling her head back, Lia looked at the ceiling. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

“I used to watch you two, together,” she admitted, still facing up and away from him. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her eyes to meet his. She missed his eyes, she really did. “She made you so happy, Harry. I remember how you smiled at her… Or how you…” Shaking her head, she darted her eyes away again. She couldn’t stare at him while she spoke about that. “She really made you happy, and when I saw her here I just… I don’t think I made you as happy as she did, so why wouldn’t you rather be with her, than with me?”

The grunt that bursted out from his chest made Lia look at him again. He’d lowered his head and was pressing both hands against his forehead. She could see his shoulders moving deeply and heavily, up and down.

“Harry,” sliding her tongue between her lips, she swallowed down before repeating her earlier question, “why didn’t you tell me she was your neighbor?”

“Because I’m not proud of hooking up with her. I already told you that.”

“But… You were so happy with her, you—”

“No, I wasn’t happy, Li, I was really miserable with her.” Lia arched her eyebrows, at his confession, and also at the nickname falling so softly from his lips. “The bar was the only place we would see each other, besides here… And it was just… Everything was a mess. I shouldn’t have… I… I regret being with her every single day, I swear.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to say it.”

“I need to know, Harry. Don’t you trust me?”

He shook his head, “you know the problem goes the other way around.”

Lia frowned. “I’m sorry for running off that way, I really am. But can you just… Harry, I went back home from work one day and I found the man I had dated for five years with another woman. In my own house! Just think about that for a moment… And now imagine myself coming back to your place, where I was practically living in for the past week or two, and I see her… I knew who she was, I remembered her! And she was talking on the phone about coming back home, and saying I love you to someone named H! H! What was I supposed to think?”

“Okay, yeah, I know what it looked like. I’m not saying you didn’t have any reasons to have questions… I’m saying you ran off and didn’t talk to me, I’m saying you just assumed the worst of me.”

“I don’t even remember calling Molly, I wasn’t being rational. I’m sorry for being so difficult sometimes, I wish I wasn’t—”

“Stop, you know I don’t… I would never hold your anxiety against you, Lia. That’s not what I’m trying to do. You know that, we’ve been through this already.”

“Yes, I know. Of course I know. And that’s exactly why it hurt so much… Why I… I trust you, I really do. I trust you so much I had to stay away ‘cause I knew I would forgive you no matter what. I didn’t know she was your neighbor, and she was talking to someone named H. I’m sorry, but things were just…”

“I’m not H, she never called me H. She was talking to someone else, not me.”

“Okay. I shouldn’t have assumed, but…”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Lia watched him. He looked exhausted, and he didn’t look like someone who was ready to fight for a relationship. Taking a deep breath in, she swallowed her pride down her throat, just like she’d been swallowing her tears and pain and hurt. The idea of losing him didn’t seem real, didn’t seem possible… But neither did the idea of Harry running after her. Maybe he had already accepted the end of whatever it was that they had, maybe he wasn’t as sad as her… She didn’t know, she couldn’t know. Because he wasn’t talking to her. He wasn’t even looking at her.

She knew she would have to leave his place. She knew she would have to walk away, because there was no point in staying around if he didn’t want her to be there. No matter what she could wish she’d done differently, what was done, was done. And now she had to face the consequences and move one. Walk away.

“I came here because I miss you,” she murmured, so low she could’ve considered it a whisper. Looking inside his eyes, she tried not to think before blurting out everything she needed to get out of her chest. “You asked me why I came here, and that’s why. Because I miss you, all the time. And I… I trust you, a lot. Like I haven’t trusted anyone else before. You’re good for me, and I’m… I’m really happy with you, I don’t… I never felt so comfortable with anyone else before. Not even with my ex. That’s why I freaked out when I saw her here, and that’s why I avoided you so much… I was scared of ignoring myself and putting you first, because I… I honestly couldn’t imagine not being with you anymore… It sucks that I ended up ruining everything anyway, but… Well… I mean, I think it makes sense. That’s usually what people do.” Taking a deep breath, she clenched her hands into fists, so tightly she could feel her nails digging into her palm. “You…” Please don’t cry, please don’t cry. “You really changed me, so thank you for that. I…” She shook her head. “I’ll go now.”

Lia wanted Harry to run after her, but she knew he wouldn’t. She knew from the moment she’d walked through his door that he wasn’t going to make a move. He was done. And she’d accepted it, so much she’d decided to open up to him with honesty before leaving for good. Relief flooded through her body, and she cried as she waited for the elevator. Whipping her tears away, she pressed the first floor button, and watched the door close in front of her.

He actually hadn’t walked after her. It was fine. She would be fine. Taking another deep breath, her lower lip quivered, and she hid her mouth behind her hand to hold herself together. She could cry once she was home, under her blankets, missing him.

The doors opened again, and Lia blinked her tears away, dragging her index fingers under her eyes to whip the last ones out.

“Daisy, c’mon,” a male voice made her straighten up. Leaning against the back of the elevator, she watched Harry’s neighbor hold the elevator with one hand, stretching his other arm out of her sight. He looked at Lia, then smiled. “Hi, sorry, just one moment.”

Lia nodded, turning the curves of her mouth upwards. She could wait. There was no one waiting for her, anyway.

“Mommy is late, I’m here,” the little girl chirped, running down the hallway and jumping into the elevator. The structure trembled, and Lia placed one hand on the wall, as if that would prevent it from falling down. “Hello! I’m Darcy!”

“Hi, Darcy,” Lia breathed out, along with a soft chuckle. “I’m Lia.”

“Lia!” She grinned, and her eyes lit up. “Yes! Lia! Dad, look! It’s Lia!”

“Yes, sweetheart, it’s Lia,” the dad said, clearly unamused and tired. “Alicia, baby, c’mon!”

“Where is Harry?” Darcy asked, looking directly into Lia’s eyes.

“Hm… At home.”

“Oh!” She nodded. A door slammed down the hallway, and the click-clack of high-heels echoed right after. “Are you going to see him?”

“Hm…” Lia shook her head. “No, I’m going home now.”

“But… You say Harry is home.” Darcy frowned, and Lia couldn’t help but sigh. Harry really was home to her. “You and Harry live in the same home?”

“Sorry sorry, I’m here baby!” the cheery, bright, mesmerizing and sweet voice intruded Lia’s mind and soul. Frozen, she widened her eyes while staring at Darcy’s little figure in front of her. “We can go now.”

The high-heels stepped firmly into the tiny space, followed by black shoes. She didn’t dare looking up, but from the extremely delicious and sensual perfume, she got the answer she was looking for. She knew who it was.

Lia heard the doors closing, then she felt the elevator moving down. She also saw Darcy standing on her tiptoes and pointing a tiny finger to her, which made her flinch.

“Mom, look, it’s Lia!”

“Sweetie, how do you know everybody’s names?” The woman laughed, and the little girl shrugged excitedly.

“Because I ask. Dad say is polite to say hello. Do you say hello, mommy?”

“Sweetheart, dad says—”

“Henry, it’s fine…” the mom whispered. She shifted on her feet, and Lia saw they were facing her. She gulped down, then lifted her sight. “Hi, I’m Alicia. I see you’ve already met my nosy daughter.”

Alicia extended her arm, and Lia looked at the hand waiting to greet her. Licking her lips, she shook the woman’s hand briefly.

“Yes, hi. She’s sweet.” She smiled, as awkward and uncomfortable as she felt.

“You live here?” Alicia’s hand searched for the man’s hand—Henry’s hand—and Lia watched as their fingers laced together.

“Yes!” Darcy jumped again. “With Harry, mommy! Harry is so nice!”

“Mmm…”

Staring at her own feet, she didn’t dare looking up at the woman’s face. She didn’t care about correcting them, she didn’t even think about speaking up again.

Why was it taking so long to get to the ground? She needed to get out of there.

She needed to… What did she need? She had no idea.

Alicia. Harry’s ex—who wasn’t actually an ex, he’d said.

Alicia. Harry’s neighbor.

Alicia. Darcy’s mom.

Alicia. Holding Henry’s hand. Henry. H. Not Harry.

Alicia.

That was Alicia.

The woman Harry didn’t want to talk about.

The hook up Harry wasn’t proud of.

The story Harry was ashamed about.

Alicia, who had a daughter. And a man.

A family.

The ding of the elevator made her jolt, and she finally looked up. As the doors opened, she saw them being replaced by a tall figure. Gray sweatpants, white t-shirt, shaved skin, messy curls. Forest green eyes. Harry’s muscled and tattooed arms were stretched upwards and wide open, holding each side of the door. He was flushed and panting, and it seemed as if he had been waiting for the elevator to come down.

“Don’t go,” he breathed out, “Lia I—”

And then he blinked.

Lia watched the moment he saw the man right in front of him—his eyebrows snapped together, then his eyes squinted. Right next to him he found Alicia… Followed by Darcy, and finally her… There… Hiding at the back. Behind the woman he had been sleeping with, and her family. And that’s when his jaw fell slightly open and his eyes widened.

“Harry!” Darcy yelled. “Mom, dad, is Harry! Lia, look! Harry is here!”

Harry’s eyes stared deeply into hers, and different emotions seemed to flash through them. She saw him gulp down, and her heartbeat sped up. Move, she mouthed, and Harry shook his head.

“Sorry,” he murmured, taking a step backwards. He held a hand to keep the doors opened, and the family walked happily to the lobby.

Alicia walked past him, her hand touching his arm very subtly, and an uncomfortable tingle rushed through Lia’s stomach at the woman’s tone. “So nice to see you again, Harry. Darcy’s favorite neighbor.”

Lia didn’t even flinch, already knowing she wouldn’t be able to walk. Or move. Or talk. She heard them saying goodbye, or something like it, but her eyes never moved from Harry’s. He was just as focused as her, and still panting—although she imagined his motives had changed. The front door of the building slammed closed, and they both jolted.

“What the hell?!” she finally gasped. “Harry!”

“I know,” he breathed out, looking at the floor and pulling the curls on the top of his head back. “I’m sorry, I know, I know. I’m… Fuck. I hate myself.”

“We… Harry, we need to talk about this.”

“Yeah, yeah…” He took a step inside, pressing the number six and letting the doors close again. “Let’s talk, babe, please… Let’s just… Let’s just go home and talk.”

—————

Hiii,

Thank you sooo much for reading!

I was really, REALLY excited about posting Harry's story hausajsh so I'm nervous about this part-even though it's shorter and doesn't even have smut!! hehe

Part 5 will be the last one, and I can't believe how much has changed since I posted part 1. You've been incredibly nice to me and I'm very grateful and happy for every message and every single word.

Please, come talk to me HERE <3 share your thoughts with me!

Dani

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Also, I would like to share these two messages bc I got too excited about them hashahsgha. A part of me was scared I was being too obvious about it, but then it ended up being so much fun to read the guesses and seeing the dots being connected 😭 thank you, again, for sharing your thoughts with me!!