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Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
DEAR READER

if i look back, i am lost
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
Jules of Nature
ojovivo
Cosimo Galluzzi

Love Begins

★
art blog(derogatory)
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Three Goblin Art
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@hamifi-hekrix

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Happy birthday Cereza !!!! 💖💖💖
REQUESTED: HYUNJIN MESSY LAYOUTS ♡
⤷ like or reblog if use or save
omg i cant believe this is actually true
It’s Fitzgerald ye damn heathens
No it’s Fortnite look it up. Abraham PUBG Lincoln will back me up on this one
fun fact!
the f in jfk was added later for respect
Person A: Don’t you just love cats? I love them so much my eyes swell with tears and i can’t breath.
Person B: A…..you’re allergic….
Person A: *under a pile of at least 23 cats and slowly swelling to the size of a balloon* Fake nEws

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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when you kidnap your daughter and fuck off to space
@beforuszine
Read the 7 remaining pages down below! Or, especially if tumblr decides to fuck you over, read from here!
This was suppose to be my Cronus piece, though I let Porrim share the spotlight as she’s my second favorite dancestor (and contrary to popular belief, I’m sure the two could get along for at least five minutes). Not only was I trying to pull out those good ol feels, but this also serves as a commentary when it comes to overall love for these background characters, along with some closure with how they were kinda swiped away toward the end of the comic.
You get a cookie for how many jokes, puns, and subtle aspect refrences you find in this.
Keep reading
Oh hey I haven’t yelled about voting in a while
Reposting this because some of y’all need a reminding.
Another reminder:
VOTE YOUR WHOLE BALLOT.
A Democratic President does nothing if Congress is controlled by Republicans. Your local elections are important, too. (It took us 20 years, but you notice we don’t have issues with our sheriff out here in Phoenix now we’ve voted out Joe Arpaio.)
Don’t skip any. Look up names on your phone while you’re in the ballot booth if you have to. VOTE YOUR WHOLE BALLOT.
A PSA because a lot of people don’t know this: You CAN take your phone into the ballot booth, no one will stop you. You CAN google names from inside the ballot booth, no one will stop you. The only time you can get in trouble is, in some states, if you take a photo of your ballot. You CAN also take a long time voting. There are lots of booths usually, don’t worry about the line if you need to think about anything. Voting is not a high school exam. You’re allowed to bring your phone. Please do that in case there’s something on the ballot you don’t understand!
This is a serious issue though.
Ferrai has this bullshit agreement that if you buy one of their cars new off the lot, you have to sign a contract saying you basically don’t own the car and have to uphold their brand standards with it.
It’s sets a startling example of not owning something despite buying it and the court needs to use this as a chance to strike it down as unethical.
This shit again? And I thought it was bad enough with ford and john deer telling farmers they didn’t own the tractors they bought from them….
Yeah, they have this really unethical clause in the purchase contract you can’t modify the car or do anything with it that they’d consider “unbecoming of the brand”, which is why they were able file this suit.
It seems kind of bizarre at first until you realize how horrifying that is in the age of “do you own what you buy?” being a huge a debate (especially in tech).
This is pretty much Ferrari’s philosophy from the start, they are extremely prideful of their cars like if they were made from God’s hands or something. They are very snobby, infact the owner of Ferrari doesn’t like the people who buy their cars since because they are bought for “status”. They also never test their cars on public tracks in comparison with other racing cars like when they wanted to test out the Porche 918 Spyder vs The McLaren P1 vs LaFerrari. Take a guess who bailed out on the performance test.
Just an update
Lambo are the perfect people to jump in on this because they make insane cars and they are never above clowning them up because Lambo are all about THE DRAMA ™
It’s worth noting that Ferruccio Lamborghini, the founder of the company originally only made tractors. His company became successful and at some point he bought a Ferrari, but had a complaint with the car. He ended up taking this complaint to Enzo Ferrari, himself, who told the man he did not take advice from a mere tractor maker. Four months later the first Lamborghini sports was birthed out of pure spite. I’d like to this somewhere he’s enjoying this immensely.
Wholesome compares to cops killing innocent people in America.
Splatoon cops
Oh and also -
Burrito of shame

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What
mom sold me again 😞
i forgot y/n was a fic thing and thought they legit asked for permission
honestly “youre our slave now yes/no” is infinitelly funnier than my original intention
what does y/n mean other than yes no?
you either know or praise God for not knowing
everybody loves to talk about velma and daphne but y’all seem to forget that velma and hot dog water from mystery incorporated were obviously gay
h-hot dog water?
Her name was hot dog water because her father was a carnival owner and they were so poor she had to bath with the used hot dog water. Also she was murdered by Nazi robots under the command of a Hannibal lector bird Scooby Doo influenced by a cosmic embodiment of horror but then brought back to life when Scooby Doo killed it
ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:
bought a really nice looking fountain pen
that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard
this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do
it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen
i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know
it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it
i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories
holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure
i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)
i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa
i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity
bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit
extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else
i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus
“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”
bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better
i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation
no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out
when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious
at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best
Wow
This is AMAZING thank you for your life tips and guidance, friend
a hc ive had for a month or so is dirk has completely normal brown eyes and has been hiding it for years
no one finds out until terezi starts hanging out with him more

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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imagine thinking dave strider is white (/s) ....... i am so sorry about that anon..... 🤡🤡🤡
IMAGINE.
I’m not gonna say “It’s fine” like I would if it was any other type of situation, cause it really isn’t. People in this community really think they’re big brained for being racist as fuck and harassing content creators when literally a majority of the people WHO WRITE HOMESTUCK are POC. It’s even funnier when literally no one gets harassed for drawing the characters as white or pure white like the sprites (before anyone potentially gets on my ass NO I don’t care nor will I hurt you or bully you for drawing them as white, IT’S YOUR HEADCANON) but if you scroll down almost any of my or other peoples POC kids drawings on say for example my instagram someones either chucking a fit or calling me the N word.
TLDR: People are still being racist and childish in 2019 for literally no reason and it’s getting old.
What a wonderful world.
I love this but the birth mark goes on the left