i wish, i wish, i wish

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

I get in theory why people complain about het ships or whatever, I get wanting to watch queer media I really do, but I guess where y’all lose me is like. I saw some asshole on a post about Sinners complaining it was “hetslop”—this person was specifically doing so while also claiming Remmick was a queer character and thus they were justified in caring more about him than the Black protagonists. which is a whole other disgusting can of worms that has been well addressed by others at this point. but even in the absence of that part of the argument, like, no, i actually don’t think that a hunger for queer stories is an especially good excuse to deride and dismiss a piece of landmark Black filmmaking, especially as a non-Black person. I have a post that’s been going around encouraging folks to engage with more Native stories and characters, and I had someone come onto that post saying in the tags that they’d need these stories to be queer in order to care. and I just think that, you know, sucks! like obviously as a queer Native I also want to see more of those stories too. but idk how else to put it other than to say that Black people and people of color shouldn’t have to be like you in order for you to care about our narratives and experiences. and I think some of y’all are using this disdain for heterosexuality as a cover for your unexamined racial biases. it’s not okay to be racist to people just because those people happen to be straight, and you continue to be white before you are queer.

on an even more basic level than that, also, I simply just think some of y’all NEED to learn how to interact with media and storytelling without ships and fandom in mind. like if not being able to write fic about two men kissing is genuinely going to be a dealbreaker for you I think that’s actually something you need to work on within yourself because at that point I think you’re no longer really interacting with art and themes and narrative so much as just kind of playing with toys. which is, like, fine I guess. have fun. but it wouldn’t kill you to disengage from that from time to time. especially if would allow you to actually appreciate rich and deeply moving cultural stories from communities of color that you desperately need to learn how to see as human

I wish insomnia at least gave you more usable hours in the day instead of just more hours where you are stupid

Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

A big thing about me and RPGs is that I do not need or even want the game to constantly reassure me that my player character is the specialest and most important person who ever lived. Yes, they are the hero and most of the time the main character, and the power fantasy that comes with being level 100 in a video game and eating monsters for breakfast is fun. But for me that power fantasy needs to be balanced with the verisimilitude of a world that doesn't feel like it revolves around one character 100% of the time. I want NPCs that are rude to my OC. I want NPCs who don't like them. I want NPCs who don't know who the fuck they are and don't care. I want to feel like they can lose sometimes, not because they found the One Other Character who is as badass as they are but just because they are a person and sometimes people lose. I want them to sometimes participate in stories that are about other people. Because for me, if they are too special and too perfect and too powerful, it's not just the character that stops feeling believable and engaging; the entire world stops feeling real and inhabited, and starts to feel like just a flattened tableau to pose in front of. And that's not what I want out of a game. I want a world to play in that feels vaster and fuller than one character could ever know. And it's infinitely possible to make a world feel like that if you just make parts of the world indifferent to and even casually hostile to the player character without being villains. They aren't your archnemesis. They just don't know you. Ma'am, this is Fantasy Wendy's. It is good worldbuilding for a world to not fawn over your player character all the time and this is a hill I will die on.

Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person.

Man I cannot stress this enough. The “this is how I am, take it or leave it” attitude is an act of immaturity. We all have toxic traits that we need to work on and as an adult it’s our responsibility to recognize the damage that they can do to the ones we love. We all need to put in more effort in becoming better individuals.

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro