This is a Tuxedo Mask hate blog.

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

human and bug relations will change by the end of the century

Deep far back into the parking lot there exists a beautiful Free land of open spots that only a few will ever take. This Lawless land is unfettered by the rules that preoccupied the culture of those who prefer close-up parking spots, and the stressful world that inhabits but in the back you don't have to face any of this. Nobody here is checking if you actually parked in the lines. Nobody here cares if you take up a spot for 6 hours. This is the back of the parking lot. Be free be American

It’s time for YOU to listen to me.

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

​this is such classic tumblr I'm surprised it has less then 50k notes

My Chemical Romance is what they would call Breaking Bad if it were a yaoi manga

i think we are long overdue for a game that does the reverse of 90s first person shooters and actively makes fun of the player for picking the hard difficulty

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that

like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real

i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex