Whisky Lullaby

It’s known that I’m a special kind of masochistic, and I draw full color portraits for every monster and boss that show up in games I run. Since Lamplighting, a MOTW game I run has ended, I wanted to compile them all! 

2 and a half years, 9 proper monsters.

The game also had it’s fair share of more, uh, npc shaped enemies. alongside the monsters were several bosses, friend and foe alike

And lastly, the campaign’s final bosses. Metatron and Paimon.

i must make…

b e a d l i z a r d

B…

AND with a little practice, you can even make them 3D shaped (especially with the smaller beads and wire, though you can make them with the bigger beads and string, to an extent) 

a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

ᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡ

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

EL CUERO THE LEATHER LAKE MONSTER

This exceedingly dangerous aquatic predator is said to have a bovine shaped head complete with two stalk eyes, razor sharp claws and a mosquito-like proboscis, through which it sucks its victims blood.

Embedded deep in the Andes mountain range, in the Southern Province of Neuquen, is a small glacial lake, which is situated approximately 25-miles away from the Chilean border. This pristine stretch of icy water known as Lago (Lake) Lacar, shares many traits in common with other high altitude, freshwater bodies (such as Lake Baikal and Lake Van) not the least of which are the reoccurring reports of a large – and extremely dangerous – unidentified animal dwelling beneath its surface. Dubbed El Cuero, which roughly translates to “The cow-hide,” by the local population, this leathery creature is also known by the names “el Threquelhuecuvu” and “El Bien Peinado” (“the smooth-headed one”).

El Cuero is one of the many examples of amphibious cryptid to appear on the South American continent.

Described as having a hairless head and spine, this animal’s body structure has been compared to that of a cow-hide which has been splayed out to dry, hence its appellation. This analogy has led some investigators to speculate that the animal may be distantly related to the family of South American freshwater stingrays known as the Stenohaline.

The creature’s face is said to be repugnant, and bearing two, reddish stalks, upon which rest its snail-like eyes. Even more disturbing are the reports of this animal’s proboscis-like mouth – located in the center of the creature’s torso – through which it reputedly sucks the blood of its human and animal victims.

This is a trait which the El Cuero would seem to share with thew notorious “African Brain Sucker” also known as Mamlambo, although this animal’s description bears more likeness to the ancient invertebrate, known as the Tullimonstrom. Eyewitnesses have also reported seeing a series of razor-sharp claws along the fringes of this animal, which it uses to secure its prey.

Although this animal is most assuredly a LAKE-MONSTER, as Lago Lacar is undoubtedly El Cuero’s favorite haunt, the unique features of this beast (not to mention the fact that there have been numerous eyewitness accounts of similar creatures hailing from rivers and lagoons in both Argentina and Chili) made it a perfect candidate for an aquatic enigma.

While legends of these vicious predators have circulated for decades throughout the indigenous populations of these two nations, there are some investigators who believe that the similarities between this beast and the equally ferocious HUEKE-HUEKE’ are so startling as to indicate that they may be one in the same.

One tale which has become synonymous with this animal involves an unwary mother who, while washing her clothes in the Hua-Hum River, watched in terror as the animal lunged out of the water and snatched her infant child as it lay next to her on the shore.

Some horsecock motherfucker: 

For anyone seeing this post and wondering what kind of unholy heresy is currently having a blacksmithing orgy in front of their eyes, this is called a Lantern Shield.

This came from, YOU GUESSED IT, fucking Italy, home of lunatic steel-weaving mother fuckers who often simply looked at each other, and by each other, I mean their frenzied reflections in their shattered mirrors, and said “WHAT IF WE JUST DO THINGS”, which is, as we all know, Aunt Jemima’s recipe for success.

Lantern Shields were very indicative: They were meant to be bucklers that could carry a lantern, oftentimes for night time duels. Now, you’re wondering, why carry a lantern on a night duel when it could just prove detrimental to your overall movement? Why, to blind the mother fucker, of course! But, see, and this is the funny thing about Italy, when Italian blacksmiths realized that they could just add a hook to a buckler, they noticed they could also just add whatever the thrice condemned shit they wanted to them, so they started forging stakes, spikes, and blades that protruded out of the buckler and gauntlet as additional defense against anyone who, due to the poor visibility of mist shrouded, dark blanketed nights, would just walk right into your handheld barracks.

I mean, nothing better than a bloke closing the distance to you losing an eye or six because they didn’t consider you might just carry a porcupine on your arm, right?

Scare The Treatie With Your Nose!

Kids tend to want to do literally anything aside from learning this skill my parent is forcing me to learn. 

Adults actually can sit down and practice things for hours on end. Adults WANT to practice to get their skills better. Adults deliberately set aside time every day to practice. Even if it’s just 20 minutes, it’s productive growth and not wiggling in your chair mournfully watching birds out the window.