That's a real kick in the dick

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

locked in? no. i'm tucked in. goodnight

i love when my mutuals are mutuals with each other #myecosystem #myenclosure

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.

Your misbehaving boyfriend is not funny to me

el muchacho monday

gay porn blogs will reblog the world’s most normal picture of the world’s most normal man and caption it some shit like. His farmer’s tan had consumed his life… ever since he got hit by the Farmer’s Tan Ray

at what age does it start sounding wierd to call your baby "it" ?

none. #it/itspronounsbaby #wokebaby #hellyeahwokebaby

You know they had the craziest sex that night

to them its just regular sex

under my totalitarian regime being a housewife will not be allowed. you WILL become an accomplished scientist