the future is bullet proof

Coming to DesignerCon this weekend at table 110, a limited edition batch of Corrupted Orca Guys! These figurines are each hand painted with a design inspired by my Corrupted Orca illustration 🫍👹✨

(I am chucky in this scenario above)

Chihuahuas are tiny but mighty and I would think their tenacious attitudes would be a net positive. I will address how MANY chihuahuas i think you would need to = the pulling strength of an Iditarod team below but I want to address some other factors a hypothetical chihuahua musher would face with this...unique team makeup:

1.) Chihuahuas need small frequent meals most of the time due to their size while arctic breeds tend to use the same amount of food more efficiently. Obviously we are going to need MORE Chihuahuas than a Alaskan Husky Iditarod team (16 dogs at max capacity), but they will also probably need to eat more food per pound than the huskies not only because of the husky ability to need less food per pound, but also because Chihuahuas are a breed that was developed for warm weather they have much shorter hair and lack the double coats of even Alaskan Huskies so they will also spend more nutrients keeping warm. Iditarod sled dogs consume an average of 12,000 calories per day and the race takes about 10 days more or less to complete at a competitive pace.

2.) Chihuahuas are actually pretty good at pulling stuff and several compete in weight pull, so pulling is a good outlet in a non hypothetical scenario with the right precautions. SOME. VIDEOS .

Adorable.

3.) A dog's ethical "working load" for longer distances can be determined by a % of its body weight and scaled for conditioning and breed size. A larger dog is typically going to be able to pull more weight per pound, but little dogs shouldn't be counted out. For small dogs up to 25 pounds it is typically said that 10-20% of the dog's body weight can be safely pulled (for large dogs it's usually more). In a weight pull scenario like above, which is very short distance, dogs can pull up to 3x their body weight (sometimes more but not often).

Okay let's do math (which i'm bad at, but calculators exist so thank god):

The Chihuahua standard says that dogs must NOT exceed 6 pounds/2.7kg and Alaskan Huskies are often not more than 60 pounds/27.2kg and less than 35 pounds/15.8kg (for reference my smallest Alaskan Malamute is 75 pounds/34kg and my largest is 110 pounds/50kg....)

Loaded with gear an Iditarod sled weighs around 200 pounds/90.7kg.

Most Iditarod dogs are not at the maximum size/weight range, mostly closer to 45 pounds/20kg on average. For the purposes of this exercise I will use 5 pounds/2.2kg for the Chihuahua. I will assume that these Chihuahua's are at their maximum strength and conditioning much like sled dogs and use the 20% metric for the amount of weight they could pull. Because our average Chihuahua is 5 pounds in this scenario it makes the math easy. 20% of 5 is uh.....1.

So to conclude it is likely that you would need a team of 200+ Chihuahuas to pull an Iditarod sled (and omg the amount of food...). That paints QUITE the visual.

Here is Jeff Deeter from Black Spruce Dog Sledding, an Iditarod kennel, running a 29 dog team for reference of what a large amount of dogs in harness might...be like?

anyways whose gonna make a visual of the hypothetical chihuahua team bc i would like to see it

Nope. And one of the things that made my doctors wave off the possibility of a diagnosis was "well, you don't stim or have trouble socializing or have sensory issues so you're probably just depressed and anxious."

Unfortunately it is worse than that; this is hours listened to podcasts per month, 1640 hours per month is like 55 hours a day, which is possible because I listen to podcasts at 2-3x speed and only sleep for about five hours a night. This was to show there were no podcast hours listened in october and november of 2023 (because they all went to listening to Peter Steele)

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.