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@haizenash
Zeus: Maybe a psychiatrist could help answer all my questions- why do I objectify women? Why do I never get to know them as people?
Poseidon: So become a patient, then.
Zeus: Nah.
*Hades walks in*
Zeus: Ah Hades, I need you to start seeing a psychiatrist. As me.
Hades: I'm sorry?
Poseidon: I'm sorry for you too, Hades.
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Athena: Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.
Aphrodite: What does 'claustrophobic' mean?
Ares: It means she's afraid of Santa Claus.
Athena: No, it doesn't!
Aphrodite: Ho ho ho!
Ares: Stop it! You're scaring her!
Every time I hear about a famous singer who never met his Dad, I think: Well, Apollo had another child.
youâre right. iâve got no comments. thatâs quite nice <3Â
Merpeople are creatures resembling half-human, half-fish hybrids and like humans, they come in a variety of appearances. In modern times, those merpeople living in warmer waters take on a more beautiful appearance, while those in colder waters, such as the Selkies of Scotland and the Merrows of Ireland, are less attractive.
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@xxtheblackswanxx send me this. Thank you <3Â
P.S. tag yourself, Iâm Aphrodite
Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide.Â
Couldnât scroll
I donât give a fuck if this doesnât suit your âthemeâ have a heart and reblog.
Could not scroll past this
Always reblog. Please.
itâs so sad how the number of victims keeps increasing
The old gods are not dead
I hear Athenas war cry in the shouts of protests, fighting a war now closer to home, I see her in the young women with picket signs clenched tightly in their fists
Hera curses the names of the abusers The ones who break families and marriages Her voice heard in the wedding bells of young lovers
Poseidon now resides in a beach home Going out every night to pick of trash left by the day Shooting daggers at the drunk men letting their bottles be swept away
Demeter can be heard cursing the politicians refusing to believe in global warming Names of scientists and studies on the tip of her tongue She is found teaching young children how to grow their food at the community garden
Ares is found on the front lines of a different war, not fighting but protecting the innocent Guiding classrooms of children away from gunfire, His shield protecting the terrified
Apollo can be found at opens mics Reciting his latest works Or walking down the street in docs on his feet and a guitar on his back He knows heâs the coolest
Artemis is seen on the streets Her bow and arrow have long left her Carrying nothing more than a knife and mace She hunts a different kind of monster now
Hephaestus resides in a workshop at all hours of the night Creating custom pieces for the right price and a warm smile The hammer making him feel invincible
Aphroditeâs song is heard in the breathy kisses of teenagers Shes found walking down the street, lips a blood red Punching the men who dare disrespect her Â
Hermes is seen with a smirk as he walks long well-traveled roads Delivering the messages of those needing to be heard Traveling, telling stories, and wearing out another pair of shoes
Dionysusâs voice heard only over the pounding bass in the bar Keeping watch over young girls drinks Dancing, partying and living as he throws another one back
Hades is seen weeping over the graves of those taken much to soon Looking to his wife for comfort Heâs long lost his faith in humanity
Persephone found in the gardens beside her mother in the spring Brushing off girlâs dirty knees and putting flower crowns on their heads She can be seen holding onto hades as he mourns the loss of life
Hecate will be found running metaphysical shops Bringing hope to powerful women wanting more Selling potions, nobody thinks will work And collecting graveyard dirt for a new spell
Zeus is watching over everyone Watches Athena cry Hera curse the men, he being one of them Poseidonâs glares Demeterâs harsh words Ares raising his shield Apollos singing Artemis as she tracks a new beast Watches Hephaestus work Sees Aphrodite punch Hears Hermes words Sees hades weep And Persephone plant and comfort her partner And grins as Hecate keeps magic alive
The old gods are not dead
They are alive
And they are watching
Dionysus: âHermes and I are doing a lot of queer representationâ
Hermes: *nods*
Apollo: "You do a lot of representation for straight dudes who love kissing up on each other"
Apollo: "We are the most sexually comfortable dude group to ever exist"
Ares: "Weâre very comfortable with our sexuality"
Apollo: "But Iâm the only one whoâs had a dick in his mouth"
Yall think the gods take classics classes for fun
Professor: whys your drawing look like that lol artemis would be paler
Apollo, twin sister to Artemis, has seen her at least once a week for 4,000 years:
professor: ares is the god of war and is evil.
ares:
Professor: Hades is the god of the underworld and is therefore evil and cold and heartless
Persephone, who has seen her husband cry secret tears of Manly Anguish every time she has to go live with her mother for six months:
Professor: Not even the crack of dawn was safe from Zeus. Zeus:
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âThose poor boysâ
âShe deserves to be punished too.â
âIâm not saying I support rape, but-â
âSorry to say - she deserved it.â
âShe put herself in harmâs wayâ
âBut if she was fingered, then thatâs not rape.â
âShe ruined their lives.â
âWell she didnât exactly say ânoâ..â
âYea, but did you see what she was wearing?â
âBoys will be boys!â
âShe should know better than to drink at a partyâŚâ
Cannot not reblog.
âShe should have tried to enjoyââ
âSheâs just saying something now for atten-â
boy am i glad this has so many notes
âBut heâs a dude. Thatâs not ra-â
 âHe shouldâve enjoyed it.â
âShe mustâve lead him on.â
âBut she orgasmed. That means she liked it -Â â
âSheâs slept with so many people! Sheâs a slut-â
âGet over it, at least youâre still a virginâ
âWomen canât rape becauseâŚâ
âBe grateful it wasnât a man!â
âIâm sorry she hurt you but donât call what happened to you rape, itâs an insult to the REAL victimsâŚâ
âYou werenât raped, youâre just lesbophobic.â
âShe shouldnât have posted provocative photos!â
âShe shouldnât have been dressed like that ⌠she was asking for it!â
âItâs the womanâs responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.â
reblogging because itâs gotten even better since last time
I love this post!
âWell he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.â
âSheâs his wife, itâs her job to please him.â
âOral isnât rape.â
âWell he wasnât armed, she could have walked away.â
âGuys canât be raped, they love sex!â
âShe didnât fight back; it wasnât rape.â
A good post
the day I do not reblog this is the day Iâm buried six feet under
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know youâre being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Â Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as âfeatherless bipedsâ and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming âBEHOLD A MAN!â
i love how you say âit reminds me of that timeâ like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. Itâs gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. Itâs a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN whereâs the lie
Demeter: ⌠And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
Reblogging for that last exchange.
@shanastoryteller
why are so many trojan war adaptations removing the Gods.... writers meanwhile never remove God from biblical stories to make them more Historical
Iâve discussed this a lot with friends because it really is such a bizarre choice. The Iliad, the Oresteia, those stories are BUILT on the godsâ role in them. If you take them out it completely destroys a lot of central character motivations as well as the tragedy behind them. A Helen that wasnât on some level manipulated by Aphrodite to go to Troy only works as A) a selfish, brainless and/ or sociopathic woman B) a woman who must be trying to escape her abusive husband for ~twu wuv~ (still, in part, sociopathic if willing to sacrifice that many lives in the process). An Agamemnon who sacrifices his daughter without Artemis to command it is cartoon levels of villianish. An Orestes who murders his mother without Apollo to command it is a character so far departed from canon I think the only thing theyâd share is a name. I can think of a couple reasons why someone would look at those above options and think it was the right way to take their adaptionâ not that I think any of the following are legitimately reasonable.1) They want to put an âoriginalâ spin on their story to stand out (ie: that story u THOUGHT u knew the truth about? Well actually that was all ~childish~ fantasy, hereâs the REAL one) I think itâs in the same vein of taking a well known story and making it ~grim dark~. What If Everyone Was An Asshole Just âCause? Thatâs How The REAL World Is. 2) They donât want to take the time to research the gods, who are a whole separate set of characters with deep backstories, with anything but black and white motivations. TFOACâs âŚattempt at including the gods seemed to confirm this to me. Writing a whole cast of true neutral characters while keeping them interesting at the same time isnât easy. They run the risk (as it is in TFOAC) of just seeming very flat and difficult for the reader/viewer to connect at all with. The actual gods are at times humorous, at times terrifying, at times quite relatable in their roles as a sibling or a parent⌠Itâs a hard balance to strike and given that most modern adaptions fail to even make the mortal cast 3 dimensional, is it really surprising they couldnât achieve that with gods?3) This one is a stretch but in terms of movie/tv: maybe budget? Although the gods donât necessarily need a lot of special effectsâ Athena has been featured in several Odyssey adaptions because she doesnât really do anything especially superhumanâ I think itâd be harder to avoid it in the Iliad. Consider things like Apolloâs plague, the Diomedes vs Ares fightâŚÂ 4) Relatedly, still pertaining to movie/tv, maybe the scope just becomes too big? Many adaptions even cut out a large portion of the mortal cast. Patroclus occasionally gets cut, Diomedes almost always; Hector, Paris and Cassandra are almost always the only children of Priam we see⌠But books really have no excuse in this respect, since a book can be as long as the author wants.Iâm still waiting on a good adaption that involves the gods, especially in movie/tv; to me itâs such an untapped gold mine. Theyâre all such wonderful, varied characters. But I also feel like I might never see it in my lifetime at this rate, especially given the fact that writing quality in these adaptions seems to be declining, rather than improving as the years go on :/Â
Apollo: past tense of William Shakespeare? William Shookespeare
Athena: Actually, it would be Wouldiwas Shookespeare
Apollo:
Apollo: donât you dare outpun me ever again
Apollo: past tense of William Shakespeare? William Shookespeare
Athena: Actually, it would be Wouldiwas Shookespeare
Apollo:
Apollo: donât you dare outpun me ever again
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Zeus: so, you like boys?
Apollo: yep :>
Zeus: and you like girls?
Apollo: yep :>
Zeus: and YOUâRE STILL SINGLE??
Apollo: I-
Zeus: lmao son you ainât bisexual u bi-yourself
Hestia: do you want a hug?
Hades: no
Hestia: did you hear what i said?
Hades: yes, i did.
Hestia: what did i say?
Hades: âdo you want a hug?â
Hestia: well if you insist!
