(semi-hiatus)

i havent heard from charlie kirk in a while is he alright?

oh ok! :D

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first

i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up ever ever ever but i'm not dead im just sleeping so no one is sad or anything silly like that

not a good person but not a bad person either. I can be a bitch but I’m very kind too. I’ll just never be as kind as I wish I was, but also not as bad as I fear I am

Yeah i dont think i can take any more madness/pain

sorry for displaying suicidal tendancies do you still think im hot

til my self sabotage do us apart

when its getting bad again but you can‘t talk to anybody about it so you lowkey just sit there and let your thoughts consume you

no but im so tired of how self-deprecation is always more accepted than self-advocacy. if i say i can't drive because im autistic i get questioned on how exactly that works and given a million suggestions on how to do it anyway and i look like im trying to be special so it's easier to just say im a loser. yeah i don't drive because im kind of a loser lmao. oh well. and people say lmao back and we move on. at worst they say "oh im sure you'll figure it out haha." but no interrogation!! being a loser is more respectable than being disabled. being a loser is something that doesn't make other people feel uncomfortable about their own biases. so no, no im not disabled. i don't struggle to keep friends and do the laundry and make quick trivial decisions and clean my room and brush my teeth because im autistic. it's because im a loser. it's my fault. it is what it is. at least im funny now. do you think im funny? please think im funny

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it