i ain't got no type

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

they're mine

i could never handle being a popular showrunner/writer/creator with a fandom because i know id go read fanfiction about my own characters and have to be physically held back from posting "you guys really think [blorbo] is a top??" on main

i only like enemies to lovers if it’s gay because i think men who are mean to women don’t deserve to live

the problem with learning shorthand is that it basically makes any set of long squiggles look like words so you will be trying to read the floaters in your eyes while you’re in the shower. on the bright side i may have invented a new form of divination.

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved