i'm just, fucking, tossing bikes in the river, bruh

Mulder's got a point

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

it's ok to keep secrets, everybody has some skeletons in the closet. Wraiths in the attic. Ghosts in the bedroom. Mummy in the kitchen. Enchanted armor on the stairs. Slimes in the basement. Maybe a giant spider in the backyard. Beholder or two in the garage. Vampires are also in the closet

my house is very unsafe

I just don't think we ever wrapped up the Clown Sightings of 2016 in a satisfactory way.

There's a weird 3 star movie out there ready to change your life forever

i feel like rpf is really normal because who doesnt have deranged theories about people youve never met

ur actually a bad person and a terrible human being for shaving ur legs, is that what u wanna hear