Angolo creativo di uno spernigo gufetto grigio

The short of it is that Damon knows. He knows it all before he starts racing. He understands that his name is on the list, that the moment he wins something he will not just be an appealing sacrifice to the demon but that it’s also very personal because the storm snatched away his father's soul before they could use it. He knows that racing will eventually mean death for him, with his soul becoming a sacrifice. Religiously: a walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It’s just a long wait. But he races anyway: how could he not?

Ayrton is special, obviously, but I think the turning point for Damon is Jacques. When Jacques arrives there's suddenly two of them, two people who know, see and understand in a very similar way. In the context of this AU, Ayrton would not have gotten in the car if Gerhard hadn’t betrayed him. But with his heart shattered by the one easy, sunny, fulfilling love he had and Alain retired for good, what did he have left but to race and save his soul, if not his life? But Jacques is there with Damon and he is stubborn and very much closer in mentality to Didier and he has no intention of dying like that. He’s life where Ayrton is death, he's reality where Ayrton is spirituality. I kind of explore this in Giabbanini but it’s the concept of a Tyrrel driver as opposed to a Gilles-style driver and their existence on a spectrum. For them, history is made by those that survive because they can tell the story, they can still act.

Some drivers are closer to the Storm (the Rain Masters) - I headcanon it would answer Damon just as well as Jackie or Ayrton or Michael but he doesn't believe himself worthy. Just sometimes, like the victory in the rain, he gets close to it. They were ready to sacrifice him that race but, by linking it to Ayrton in his heart, if not directly to himself, the storm came for him. What was meant to be their victory turns into his.

Ultimately, he is surrounded by people like Jacques and Jackie who will love him more if he stops the car and gets out alive. And so he does: when he understands that it’s his name at the top of the list, that he’s next, that he’s already snatched away one too many miracles and the shadow of death is now too heavy to carry, he stops point blank half-way through the race and retires.

And thus the links in the chain of survivors tighten, making it more and more difficult for Marko and Bernie to keep the pact with the demon. And it's (again, fantasy expansion of this AU) the stepping stone for Nico's career long fight to keep them away from Lewis.

Also, many people have powerful/spiritual objects in this world (Jacques has Didier's Tarot deck, Nico has a music box from Elio) and everyone thinks that Damon has Ayrton’s cross. He doesn't, he just lets them believe it so that Ron Dennis, who has it, can actually use it to protect the McLaren drivers in a similar way to how Ferrari protected his. What he does have is Jacques' copy of The Hobbit.