The Roof Is Not My Son But I Will Raise It

but like..,.,, will he Grow Into Them????

GOOD.

those look like elven ruins

Let’s go.

you don’t want a boss who can’t appreciate this anyway

*draws a dong on it*

damn he right

MARTY THE BLOB

this is the most important thing i have seen all my life

@uighean

the calming sounds of rain (BASS BOOSTED)

can we stop putting tacky graphics on literally everything? ill be in forever 21 and find a shirt that looks like something id really want and then ill unfold it and itll say some shit like “slap my ass i love to drink coffee and radiate good vibes” and i just wanna know what i did to deserve this and who the fuck asked for that?

APPARENTLY MY MOMS BOYFRIEND HAD JURY DUTY WITH JOHN MULANEY AND WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM

imagine going to the jury and seeing him like i wouldn’t be able to keep it together emotionally i’d just be disqualified the plaintiff would be like “he stole my assets” and i’d be like I Have Fired The Criminal Catcher

John Mulaney Gives You The Death Sentence (ASMR)

Imagine being on trial and you look over at the jury and John Mulaney is just sitting there. How do you handle that, psychologically. How do you not conclude your life has turned into a piece of absurdist theatre

ive been alive for almost twenty one years and im still…. shocked and offended every time it gets dark at 5pm

im stressed out that ppl don’t know my intentions at all times. spoiler alert: top priority is, i love everyone. second priority is to have a sexy and fun time