jiji

It’s 8:36 a.m. on a normal Friday, you pass by the nearby bakery and grab your usual coffee along with Dick’s order before you head to work. As you enter the office building many colleagues are already settled and working, others make conversation in the break room, you greet some of them on your way in as you look for your work friend.

“Dick! Good morning!” you smile at him and hand him his usual coffee order.

“Hey, you didn’t need to!” Dick says every time before taking the coffee from your hands, he doesn’t miss the way your fingers touch gently on his, leaving his heart beating a little faster.

You, on the other hand, wave your hand in front of you brushing off his comment, thankfully for him you’re completely oblivious to his beating heart. As you lean against the breakroom counter, Dick stands in front of you, definitely a bit too close for a colleague to be, but you don’t mind it since you’ve grown quite close.

He notices there’s no one there except for you both, so he takes his chance.

“Hey I was wondering something…” he starts off, his mouth goes dry when you look at him curiously, he sips his coffee breaking the eye contact.

“What’s up?” you sit up straight and tilt your head confused.

The sudden proximity makes him more nervous, but he pushes through.

“I thought maybe we could go to the fair after work…just the two of us?”

Your smile grows after his question.

“Of course Dick, I’d love to go with you!” your answer enthusiastically, your face closer to his.

“It’ll be awesome!” Your eyes shined with excitement.

His hand twitches at his side, the urge to pull you in by the waist closer to him is excruciating, but before he can say or do anything, someone calls for you outside the breakroom.

You look to the direction of the voice.

“Well, I have to get going, see you after work bud” you pat his shoulder as you walk past him on your way out.

Dick is left there standing alone with a lukewarm coffee in hand, he sighs and mumbles to himself  “Damn…” as he rubs the bridge of his nose embarrassed.

You're standing outside the office building shifting your weight from one foot to another eagerly waiting for him to go to the fair together.

You haven’t been to the fair since you were a child and it was one of your favorite things to do in the summer, but as the years went by and the prices went up, you stopped going. So when Dick invited you it reminded you of when you used to go with your school friends.

As you go down memory lane, your thoughts are stopped by Dick approaching.

“Ready to go?” he asks you, one of his hands running through his hair.

“Let’s go!” 

You could see the lights of the fair from your office building, so you decide to walk there. The evening breeze was welcoming on your face, you walk side by side in silence until you speak.

“Can’t wait to have some ice cream after all this work, my feet are killing me” you say with a sigh.

Dick raises an eyebrow and looks down at your feet, your shoes definitely don’t look the most comfortable, he takes the opportunity to offer his arm to you.

You wrap your hand around his arm, your fingers clasp onto his bicep for support.

“Thanks Dick, that’s very kind” you smile at him once more.

He swallows dry, he intended on making a flirty remark but when he saw your fond smile, everything went out the window.

Soon enough you enter the fair, the addictive smell of popcorn emanates through the air, the laughter of children running around to the delighted screams of people on the crazy rides.

“So ice cream first?” he points to the truck by the entrance and looks down at you.

You nod and follow his lead.

“Hi, I’ll have a chocolate ice cream, two scoops please” you place your order quickly.

“Hmmm” he scratches his chin in thought “one mint chocolate cone for me”

“No way you like the toothpaste one!” you gasp dramatically with a disgusted face.

“You don’t understand perfection sweety” he taunts you by taking a huge bite of his dessert which smears all over the corners of his mouth.

You can’t help but start laughing at his antics, you don’t know how he hasn’t gotten a brain freeze, in between laughs you manage to help him out, your thumb reaches the corner of his mouth that’s still dirty and wipes the remaining ice cream.

That makes Dick stop in place like a marble statue, the touch is electrifying to him and makes his cheeks grow warmer.

You think his slight flush is from the embarrassment or the cold of the ice cream, which makes you chuckle more.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to my simple chocolate thank you very much”

After your ice cream, you both decide to check the rest of the amusement park. Unfortunately for you, most people on a Friday also decided to come by after work so the place was more crowded than before.

“Hey hold on we’re going to lose each other at this rate” Dick tells you before holding your hand to not lose you in the crowd.

“Great idea” you hold onto his hand and continue walking forward like it’s nothing.

To you, it’s something normal you do with your friends to not lose them such as in concerts or parties or anything too crowded, yet to Dick it meant so much more.

Finally, as you leave the crowd the one ride that doesn’t have a line is the ferris wheel.

“Want to go to the ferris wheel?” both you and Dick ask at the same time, it makes you both laugh at how obvious the answer is.

You both enter the booth and the ride starts to move, as you get higher and higher you can see Gotham in its entirety.

“It’s rare to see the horizon in Gotham, it’s always so foggy” you comment looking out the window.

“Yeah, we’re lucky this time” he also looks out the window but shifts his gaze back to you.

“Thanks for inviting me, I haven’t been here in years” you sit back on the seat and nudge his shoulder.

You reach the top of the wheel where it stops for a few minutes.

“No problem, I think we should do this more often”

“Yeah we should hang out more, maybe we can invite more friends to join the fun” your gaze goes back to the city view.

“I was thinking more about just us again, maybe dinner for a second date” Dick tells you in a hopeful tone turning to you in his seat.

Your eyes turn to look at him instead of the view, they’re a bit wide in surprise.

“A second date?” you answer a little nervously.

“Yeah, this was a date, I assume” Dick answers back a little more unsure.

Your mind starts replaying the events of this evening:

Dick literally said “I thought maybe we could go to the fair after work…just the two of us?”

And he let you hold his arm!

Oh and he was holding your hand before this!

He was making you laugh with the ice cream!!

OMG THIS FERRIS WHEEL IS JUST LIKE THOSE ROMCOMS!!!

Your mind just connected the dots and now you feel so SO stupid, you put your hands to your burning red face before apologizing.

“Oh god, Dick I’m so sorry, I thought you were just being friendly with me!”

Your mind is still going a hundred miles per hour before Dick takes a hold of your hands and pries them away from your face.

“Hey it’s fine, no need to be embarrassed, I’m sorry myself, I just thought you already knew I had a bit of a crush on you”

“What?” you look at him eyes wide open.

“Yeah I’m always nervous around you and can never make a move, well except today when you agreed to come here with me” he chuckles.

“Geez Dick, I’m sorry I never noticed, I take things very literally”

“I can tell” he chuckles again.

“Well, now that you know, would you like to try again, a date for real?” he asks you, his hands squeeze your hopefully.

“I’d like that yeah” you smile at him.

His shoulders finally relax and he can’t help but to smile back, as the booth descends to a full stop and you both get out of the ride, you start discussing plans for the next date, your first real date, you both can’t wait for what’s to come next.

DC taglist

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“Shut up Drake.” Damian retorted. “Ukhti allows me into her apartment at any time. She won’t be mad at me. You, on the other hand-“

“I think she’ll be mad at all of us if we break her stuff by acting like bulldogs.” Jason interrupted, sick of the brother’s bickering.

“Or maybe she’ll be mad because we’ll interrupt her ‘beauty sleep’” Dick grinned. “She takes that very seriously-“

“So do you Grayson. And heavens knows you definitely need it.”

“Hey!”

Tim opened his mouth to shush his brothers again, but was cut off by Jason’s voice coming from the kitchen.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Dick, Cass, Tim, and Damian looked at each other before walking to the kitchen, all of them stopping in the tracks when greeted by a sight they weren’t sure what to make of.

Wally West. Shirtless. Only wearing boxers. Standing in front of your open fridge, glass of water in hand.

Wally’s mouth was slight ajar, like he also couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Four out of the five people he feared the most just caught him red handed (the fifth was Bruce.)

There’s about ten seconds of a very terrifying and weird silence. Then it burst from three voices shouting at once.

Cass looked a mixture between stunned and slightly happy. One of Cass’ greatest skills is her ability to read body language, and she had observed you and Wally getting closer the past few weeks. She already had her unspoken suspicions, and was slightly pleased with herself.

Damian was immediately on the defensive. “How dare you dress like this in Ukhti’s home, West! You should have more respected for her and for yourself-“

Tim was asking questions that nobody gave him answers to. “When did this start? Was it right after her birthday gala? Because that means Bart was right. Does Bruce know? Does anybody know? How serious is this? A friends-with-benefits or a real relationship-“

Jason didn’t seem to believe what was in front of him, as if somehow convinced that you were on the unaware side. “Does she know that you’re standing practically naked in her kitchen? Why are you in her kitchen? Please say she was bandaging you up or something. Or that you needed food-“

But Wally wasn’t listening to them. He was staring at Dick, and Dick was staring right back at him. Neither of the two spoke. But Wally’s gut was already eating him.

He broke bro code. And he should’ve told Dick ages ago. But he kept pushing it off, because you always wanted to push it off. It wasn’t that you two didn’t want Dick to know, but it was sorta fun keeping the secret.

Well, it was a secret. Until Bruce found out a month ago.

You were in the medical room of the Tower, carefully wrapping your arm in a bandage after receiving a nasty slash from Poison Ivy’s thorns. Wally had joined you while you were half way through the act, wanting to make sure you were okay.

Wally was always more risky in public than you were. He trailed soft kisses up your arm, lingering on your neck, and then smiling against your cheek when you tutted at him.

“I’m trying to make sure I don’t bleed to death here Wally.” You snipped, but with no bite to your words. There never was when it came to Wally. He grinned back at you, his slender fingers going over yours as he helped you guide the bandage (you definitely did not need guidance, which to Wally, made the whole thing better as it had a better chance to annoy you.)

That lasted for a few seconds before a deep, unfortunately familiar voice came from behind.

“I’d appreciate it if you gave my daughter some space while she was recovering, Flash.”

Wally jumped about a foot in the air, leaping away from you as if you were burning hot as he turned around to look at his literally biggest fear.

“Yes, sir.” Wally got out immediately. “I was just- just seeing how . . . how she was doing after the-“

You rolled your eyes. “He was only checking on me, Batman.” You didn’t know how much Bruce had gathered, but reaction can tell him everything. It was pointless anyway, Wally had given him enough reaction to figure every detail out.

Bruce hummed, his cape still tucked around his shoulders to look more intimidating towards the young male.

“I’d like it if my daughter was more honest with me.”

You paused, looking at your dad. Wally stared you, making it clear that he’d follow whatever story you pulled. But you just sighed, and shrugged. You were too tired to lie anymore. Plus, you could tell from Bruce’s face that he already had you and Wally figured out.

“I’m sorry we hid it from you.” Wally blinked at your words. He’ll always find the silent conversations you and your father have very unsettling.

“How long have you known?”

“I’ve been suspecting for about two weeks now.”

You raised your eyebrows. “And you’ve only just come to us now? That’s surprising for you.”

Bruce was quiet for a moment, and then decided to make you feel a bit more guilty. “I was waiting for you to come to me.”

You pursed your lips. “I was going too. I just . . .” You looked at Wally. “We wanted to keep to ourselves. Just for a bit.”

Bruce nodded.

And then, after Wally got threatened (only a little) by Bruce, which he did expect, the awkwardness sort of disappeared. Because Bruce wanted to perform a little experiment of seeing how long it would take your siblings to catch on.

So then you and Wally’s constant unspoken fear of being caught vanished, and it turned more into a game. It was like pushing a limit to see how much your siblings would simply not notice or look past.

You and Wally had to dodge Damian the most, as the boy had a silent preference for you, especially when it came to missions. Damian liked being paired with his older sister for patrol or mission because you and his techniques worked well with each other, and you two often had the same line of thinking.

So it would happen a couple of times where Damian would go searching for you, only to walk into the meeting room to see you and Wally standing very close together. And for a second he thought he heard you giggling.

Damian cleared his throat to announce his presence. “Ukhti. It’s patrol time together.”

You and Wally sprung up, taking a step or two away from each other. You nodded quickly, swallowing your smile down.

“Let’s go, then.” You let Damian go in front of you, taking the chance to glance at Wally to give him a small wave.

Later on a rooftop, Damian spoke. “What were you and West doing?”

You hummed. “Just looking at the vent plan of a warehouse where a suspected drug dealer operates. Might be big bust, so Flash and I are studying the case.”

Damian nodded, satisfied with your words.

You were surprised you manage to dodge Tim as long as you did. The closest he got was when he caught you in the Batcave at 7 am in your pyjamas. You were hunched over the Batcomputer, watching the security footage of the camera placed outside your bedroom wall. He watched you for three seconds before speaking, making you whip your head back at him.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” You said, a second too early. “Just thought I heard something last night. Wanted to double check.”

Not completely unusual. Tim narrowed his eyes before just nodding.

“Alright.”

When you left, he watched the last couple of hours from that camera himself, but didn’t see anything noticeable.

Little did Tim know you spent the last hour wiping the footage of Wally scaling your wall last night, and making sure that the footage matched up to the last second so that you wouldn’t be caught.

Cass was the hardest to lie to or avoid. She was so perceptive, and you could never fully tell how much she knew or what she didn’t know. Plus, she might be the one you were feeling the second most guilty about lying to her.

You and Cass are close. She’s your only sister, and you hers. You two often sleep in each other’s rooms when one of you finds it difficult to drift off for various reasons. And sometimes during these sleepovers you end up whispering into the darkness to each other. Secrets you wouldn’t trust with anyone else.

You don’t like lying to Cass about anything, and she’s the hardest to lie to. She can tell straight away by your body language if you’re hiding something, and she knew you were.

She could feel how your shoulders relaxed when Wally was mentioned, but tensed right back up again if she asked what you thought of him. She could see the slight clenching of your jaw when you tried to appear casual, claiming you “never gave him much thought. He’s just one of Dick’s friends.”

And now each one of them are realising that all those little lies you told, the situations you carefully avoided, all lead back to the ginger man standing in your kitchen half-naked.

As silence fell upon the group again and the voices were replaced with wide-eyed stared at each other, the weird atmosphere was interrupted by someone else moving.

Your footsteps were heard from the hall, your slippers softly slapping against the wood before you entered the kitchen, rubbing at your eyes.

“Wally? You said you were grabbing a snack ten minutes ago. I thought you were supposed to be the fast-“ But you stopped short when you saw your siblings packed together on one side, and your secret boyfriend on the other side.

And then the chaos started again, just now with your voice added in.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because I don’t have to disclose every detail with my siblings! I can have my own life for once.”

“Out of all the people you go for-“

“Hey!” That one was Wally, the first word he’s spoken this whole time.

After few more shouts, a particularly loud one echoed through the room. A voice who could silence the room with one command because he was a natural born leader, and an inspiration to everyone currently in the room. “Stop it. All of you.”

Dick Grayson. The only one who hasn’t spoken yet, but it looked like everyone was just remembering that he was there too, and that his opinion could really make or break the whole thing.

You and Wally exchanged a glance out of pure habit and familiarity when you noticed Dick, and it was that move that made him pause.

When presented with an unknown situation, you had looked towards Wally. And Wally had done the same. His two best friends had found their own language with each other that didn’t need to be spoken to be heard. Dick blinked, and looked towards his four younger siblings beside him.

Damian opened his light to protest against Dick unspoken command, but Dick stopped him with a look. He huffed before following Cass out of the kitchen, presumably going back outside to go home after opening their can of worms.

“Dick, we-“ You started.

“How long?” His words were simple, and you couldn’t gauge if he was happy or furious. But you didn’t hesitate.

You tsked. “That’s your first question?”

Dick’s eyes darted between the two of you, and you really thought you were about to fight this guy. Until his face broke out in a smile.

“Thank God!” He exclaimed, his arms laughing over both of you. “I was getting sick of the heart eyes you two were making at each other. So who manned up and said it first?”

Wally blinked. “You aren’t mad?”

Dick laughed. “Why would I be mad?”

You scoffed. “Maybe because you’ve gotten so weird over any boy that interacts with me, claiming that you need to threaten their collarbones.”

“That’s completely different.” Dick said, like it was obvious. “Those were guys I didn’t know. But of course I trust you, Walls. You’re my best bro.” His smile faltered. “But yeah, if you do hurt my sister, I will break your

collarbones.”

“Noted.” Wally muttered, but grinned back at his friend. You rolled your eyes beside them.

A few minutes later, Dick was crawling back out your living room window.

“Please just text me next time you decide to bring the whole family into my apartment.” You chided, before disappearing back into your bedroom.

Dick turned to Wally. “She’s your drama queen to deal with now, I guess.”

Wally smiled, “wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Dick nodded. “Happy for you man. I wish we could’ve had this conversation with you wearing some more clothes, but I guessed it worked out.”

“Thanks man.”

And with that, Dick joined his siblings in the batmobile to drop them off to the Cave before returning to his own girlfriend.

Wally crawled underneath the covers, sliding his body around yours where you were already texting Bruce.

You: They just figured it out. Three weeks and nine days. Not too bad.

Bruce: Noted. Thank you for indulging my experiment.

You: No problem. It was quite funny.

Wally watched your face as you stared at Bruce’s next messages for quite some time.

Bruce: Agreed. You should sleep now. Extend my good night wishes to West.

Bruce: I love you.

You put your phone away on your nightstand before curling into Wally. There was a minute of silence before:

“I really thought Dick was going to scalp me for a second back there.”

You hummed before mumbling, “I wouldn’t lower my guard around him.”

Wally didn’t get a chance to question your words before he heard your slow and steady breathing next to him, your thoughts safe and relaxed after the event of the evening.

He gets up, shuffling over in his sweats. He undoes the four locks and opens the door to reveal... you.

"Uh, hey," he says, cracking the door wider. "Everything okay?"

It's late. You shouldn't be out now, even if the sun hasn't gone down yet.

Jason frowns when you sway in the doorway and don't respond.

Then you flash him the sweetest smile he's ever been on the receiving end of. Wow. Sure, Jason's seen you flash your pretty teeth before. But not like this. And not at him.

"Hi, Jaylove. Hi."

"Uh." He watches you walk right past him, into his apartment. He shuts the door. "Hi... What's goin' on? You alright?"

You turn to face him. "Why wouldn't I be? After all, you're here."

"What?"

You walk to him and take his hands in yours. Jason's eyebrows rise.

"Hey...?" Jason says, looking at your joined hands. You lace your fingers together.

"My prince," you say happily. "Your eyes are beautiful. Like emeralds. And you have a beautiful mouth. Your whole face is beautiful. I'd like to paint you."

"Are you on drugs?" Jason releases your hands to hold your face. He gently pushes your eyelids up to inspect your pupils. You just smile.

"I feel high when you touch me," you say. "Just being near you is drug enough."

Yeah, Jason's now feeling a healthy amount of paranoia. It's not that you don't stop by or that you're not nice. No, you're the sweetest creature Jason's ever had the pleasure of meeting.

But wanting to touch him? Thinking he's beautiful? Calling him your prince? Either you're drugged or he's died again and found paradise.

Then again, he probably wouldn't still be in Gotham if this were paradise. You'd definitely be here, though.

"Right. Your eyes are fine." Jason lets go of your face. "You sure you didn't take anything? Drink anything? Run into anyone?"

"I drank tea," you say, gazing up at him. "And I petted a fat orange cat. Don't you want a cat?"

"I surely do. You drank tea?"

"Mmhm. It was almost as amazing as you."

Jason nods and takes your hand. "Okay. We're going to the Cave."

"How come?" you ask, but you don't protest as he leads you out and into the elevator.

"Because I wanna make sure you're okay," he says, pushing the button labeled one. You're definitely not okay, but he doesn't want to worry you.

"Oh." You lean against Jason's arm. He stiffens and looks down at you. You just burrow into his side. "'Cause you love me?"

Breath catches in his throat. You can't mean that. Do you even know what you're saying? No, impossible.

You look up when he's silent for too long. "Jay-Jay? Didja hear me?"

"Yeah," he says slowly. "Yeah, I did."

You look at him, big eyes sweet. "Don't you love me too? I love you."

Jason swallows hard. "I, um, don't think you're in your right mind."

Your lip quivers. Oh, God. No, please don't cry, please don't—

"You don't love me?" you ask, tears welling.

"I do love you," Jason says quickly, panicking at your distress. "I do. Shit. Please don't cry, honey. I do love you."

You frown, cheeks wet. "You're just saying that! You hate me!"

Jason shakes his head. "No, no! Oh, never, I could never hate ya, honest! I was just... um, this is the first time we've said it to each other, y'know? I do love you. Have for a long time now."

He strokes your cheek with his thumb, soaking up your tears. You sniffle but accept this, nodding.

"Oh. I'm sure I've told you that I love you before. I love you so much, Jason. I'll never love anyone the way I love you."

God, this is fucking torture. As the elevator reaches the ground floor, Jason takes a deep breath, lets you link your fingers with his, and leads you out to the street. The universe is intent in never granting him a normal night. Noted.

There's no way you're in your right mind. Jason's figured this from the start. But that doesn't make the way you look at him, like he's anybody worth looking at, any less painful.

He pulls out his phone, shoots a quick text to Dick. ETA 10 min.

Dick responds two seconds later. What's up?

Possible Code 12.

Jason pockets his phone, running through potential reasons for what did this to you. Ivy's not wreaking havoc tonight, as far as he knows.

Meanwhile, you're in another world, humming and holding his hand. Jason's thought about this many times, holding your hand and taking you for rides, you adoring him, hugging him, kissing him. He's nothing if not a masochist.

"Okay, sweetheart," Jason says, and you immediately turn to him, like a flower showing its face to the sun. Jason is no one's sun, though. He's more like the worm under your boot.

"Hm?" you ask, stroking his arm. Jason does his best to be normal about it.

"We're gonna, um, go to the Cave. You okay on my bike?"

You glance at his bike, and there's a tinge of apprehension on your face. Jason reaches for your shoulder, stops, then forces himself to touch you. You're not going to recoil from him, not in this state. And he's not doing it for himself; he's only touching you so that you'll let him take you to the Manor and figure out what's what.

He's not a bastard for holding your shoulder, right? He's doing it just so that you'll be safe.

(It doesn't matter. Jason knows he's a bastard for being in your life at all.)

You lean into him when he touches your shoulder.

"Never been on your bike, Jay," you say.

"I know. But I swear to you that you're safe. You know I'd never let anything happen to you, right? Never."

You nod. "Yeah. You always look out for me. 'S part of why I love you so much."

Good God. Jason's going to be a ball of self-hatred for the next millenia over this.

He puts his spare helmet on you, helping you fit the chin guard underneath.

"Okay?" he asks.

You give him a thumbs-up. Jason smiles and puts his own helmet on.

"You gotta hold on real tight, okay? As tight as you can. Don't worry 'bout hurting me."

"Mmkay!"

He helps you mount the bike first, then follows. As soon as he's on, you wrap your arms around his middle and smush your helmet into his back.

How long has he dreamed about this? Taking you on late-night rides, feeling you pressed against him, squealing as he floats through traffic (he'd never speed the way he does when he's alone; Jason doesn't give a shit about his own body, but your safety matters).

"The bike is loud, so I'm not gonna hear you if you say something, but if you want me to stop, tap my shoulder three times, okay?"

"Okay, Jaylove." You squeeze him in what's clearly a hug. "Ready."

Jason's not sure he is. It's been a long time since anyone's touched him, much less someone he's head over heels for. You're so trusting, it makes him ache. Jason's just glad he's the first jerk you laid your eyes upon instead of the magic you're under pushing you into the arms of someone dangerous.

He starts up his bike. Jason's had guests on his bike before, mostly his brothers and, once, the old lady who runs the tea shop down the block.

He's never had a lovely thing like you snuggled up to him, clinging to him. Jason feels rabid. He feels like he needs to be shot and put out of his misery.

He follows all of the road rules so you won't be scared. You don't tap his shoulder or shake, so Jason figures you're fine. He's good. He's being good for you.

Jason slows as he goes down the ramp to the Cave entrance. He stops at the mouth of the Cave and dismounts first, pulling off his helmet.

"You alright in there?" he asks, offering his hand.

You wrap your arms around his neck and Jason wobbles as he recalibrates and snakes an arm around your shoulders instead and helps you off that way. He removes your helmet. You blink at the new light, then look at him, moony-eyed once again.

"I was kinda scared," you admit. "But I trust you, Jaybee. Always."

"Got you here in one piece, didn't I?" he says, winking at you.

"Uh-huh!"

Jason sees what you're going to do before you try. He sees the way you look at his lips, how you rear back, ready to leap and kiss him.

He redirects you immediately, preferring that to making you cry again. He hates it when you cry. Your soft mouth lands on his jaw instead.

Jason smiles, strained. You're annoyed at the fact that you missed, and Jason can see that you're about to try again when Dick and Tim come into view.

He's never been more thrilled to see his brothers.

"Fellow bretheren," Jason says. He knows his voice is thin. "Funny seein' you here."

You're briefly distracted and wave to be polite. But then you force Jason's left ear to your level and catch the lobe between your teeth.

Holy fuck. Jason nearly buckles at the sensation. He's never understood the ears as an erogenous zone before—now he gets it. He's ashamed of how heat pools in his gut as you nip his ear.

Jason balances you with an arm around your waist, gingerly trying to both hide his reaction and separate you. He accomplishes neither. Tim's eyebrows are at his hairline; Dick's mouth is open, no doubt ready to make a smart-ass comment.

"Well, it's nice to see you two so... affectionate," Dick says, holding back a grin.

Jason rolls his eyes. "I need you to run tests. They showed up to my door like this, all over me."

"Yeah, that is weird," Tim says.

"Thank you very much for that, Timbit," Jason grumbles. You kiss under his ear and weave your fingers through his hair. Jason manages to get your hands off, but your mouth is still firmly planted on his neck. He clears his throat. Normal!

"I dunno, Jason," Dick says. "It's not that weird. People fall in love every day."

And, okay. Jason can do teasing. He can even do borderline psychotic remarks. That's part of having siblings. He's made a few in his day. They've all stabbed or shot each other.

But now Dick is just being cruel.

Jason scowls. "Take their blood so we can fucking get this over with. They're clearly under a love spell."

His scathing tone surprises Dick, but it really startles you. You've moved away from his ear (Jason is both relieved and disappointed) and return to cradling his arm. You're alarmed by his reply.

"Jaylove?" you ask. "What happened? Are you mad?"

Jaylove? Jason sees Tim mouth. He forces himself to focus on you, be gentle for you.

"Hm, no, not mad at ya, sweetheart. Sorry 'bout that. But we need to run some medical tests on ya, 'kay? Can we do that?"

"Sure," you chirp, linking your arm with his.

Dick and Tim slip into Work Mode. Jason appreciates that. His nerves are frayed. He senses a self-destructive episode coming on after you're cured. Maybe he'll throw himself into a bar fight tonight.

"Symptoms?" Tim asks, going to the computer.

"Being in love with me," Jason says dryly.

"Besides that. Any physical symptoms like dizziness or nausea? Recklessness?"

"No, didn't notice any sickness. Not reckless; they did everything I said." Jason swallows, says the next part quietly, fearfully. "Probably jump into the Hudson if I asked."

Tim nods sharply. Dick prepares to draw your blood. Again, you're apprehensive. But Jason soothes you, pets you, and you're leaning into him like a cat in its favorite patch of sun as Dick takes your blood.

"I wanna get married," you say as red fills the second vial.

Dick shoots him a sympathetic look. Jason looks away.

"Soon, honey," Jason says, ignoring how his stomach's a pit.

He didn't think about love or relationships when he came back. Didn't care, not when he had revenge to plot.

But after all that was over, after he met you, after he found a reason to keep living, Jason started thinking about it.

And what he realized is that he's never getting married.

By choice? Yes, sure. Jason loves pretending he has a choice in anything. Sure, he chooses to abstain from marriage, like normal people out there do. But really, he avoids attachment because it wouldn't be fair to anyone. He knows he's not made for that. His death made him unsalvageable. It's a miracle he's here at all. How dare he ask for more?

And inside, he chokes on a vine of hatred for everyone else who can find someone. Who's capable of loving and being loved. It even, to Jason's shame, has reared its head at you, whispered in his ear about how you're not damaged, so of course you'll find someone one day. Of course you'll leave him eventually. It would be stupid of him to hope otherwise.

"When?" you ask as Dick starts on the third vial. You don't even notice. Dick could probably drain you dry as long as Jason's in front of you. "When can we get married?"

"How 'bout next month?" Jason says without thinking. He would. He'd marry you tomorrow.

You think about this for a moment, then nod. "Yes, that would be good. I've always wanted a fall wedding."

"Yeah? I always liked the idea of marrying in the spring. All the flowers."

"No," you say. "Pollen's out. You'd be sneezing your head off."

Jason laughs, then wants to cry, because you know that he's allergic to pollen.

"Yeah, y'right," he says, voice thick. "Fall wedding's better."

"Alright, all done!" Dick says, forcefully cheerful. He removes the needle and puts a Bandaid on the inside of your elbow. You rest your head on Jason's arm. Jason tries not to boil himself in a fire of misery. You probably won't even remember this.

Dick watches you both, then tugs your hand. "Hey, you mind helping me fill out some info? For the tests."

Your mouth shrivels. You look at Jason, and he can't believe he's your North Star, magic or not.

"I don't wanna leave Jason," you say.

"He'll be right here," Dick says quickly. "Won't leave your sight for a second. But I need your help."

"Just for a minute?" you ask.

Dick nods. "One minute."

You sigh and turn to Jason. "I'll be right back."

Jason nods, tries to smile. "Sure. I'll be here."

He'll be here. Forever and ever and ever...

Wait a second. Tea. Jason jolts.

"Tim. They said they drank tea. Could be something there."

"On it," Tim says. "Dick, we need a mouth swab."

"Right." He turns to you. "Can I—"

"No," you say, and march back to Jason. "You said a minute."

Jason would laugh at the pout on your face, the way you plop yourself next to him and curl around him like he's a new toy. He would laugh. If he could find the humor.

Dick looks at him. Jason sighs.

"Honey?" You hum. "We just need one more test, yeah? Q-tip on your tongue. Not the most pleasant, but it'll be quick. Promise."

"Okay," you say immediately, hugging his arm.

Jason knows it's a spell, or maybe a lab-made chemical. But he's still awed by how quickly you acquiesce. How you show no worry when Dick approaches because Jason's right there, patting your hand.

Dick swabs your mouth. You cough three times after, most of your body on Jason.

"Interesting how they're not lustful," Dick says.

"What," Jason says.

"Okay, the ear thing was..." Dick shrugs. "But it's not mindless. It's actually the most reasonable love spell I've ever seen. Like, their desires for you don't feel manufactured, they feel—"

"Don't," Jason snaps. "Don't fuckin' say it."

Dick holds up his hands. "It was just an observation. You've seen Ivy's pollen doses. This one seems different."

"Fine. Ivy's taking a break from the orgies. Doesn't mean this is real."

Jason's not stupid enough to hope.

"It can't be Ivy," Tim says, and Jason almost startles. He forgot Tim was there, so wrapped up in you. "No reports of Ivy attacks. And the substance, whatever it was, wasn't inhaled. It was injested."

You wrap your arms around Jason's neck and smush your face against his. You're warm and smell good. Jason feels feral.

He holds you with a hand on your back, mind turning.

"Sweetheart," he says. You hum. "You said you drank tea after work. Where exactly did you go?"

"Dunno," you say, spacey. "Went into a tea shop that's never been there before. And an old lady invited me in. She said I looked so sad. And I was, Jaybee! How did she know?"

"I don't know, honey," Jason says quietly, even though he has a suspicion. He's never letting you walk home alone again.

Tea shop. That's what he gets for trying to be a good Samaritan. How dare she drug you?

"Hm. Well, she gave me a tea sample, said it would make all my problems disappear. Then I petted her cat named Darcy. Like that book you like!"

God, Jason just wants to hug you tight and kiss your face. It's awful of him to think of you as cute in your state, he knows.

"Track their routes," Jason says. "They take two different ones home. One crosses Bank Street, the other goes over the bridge."

"I'd call you a stalker but I really have no right," Tim says, fingers flying over the keyboard.

"No shit," Jason mumbles, letting you play with his fingers.

"Jason," Dick says quietly. He glances at you, then at his brother. "If it's too much, we can sedate them."

"No. We don't know how it'll react to the tea. It's not Ivy's brew."

Dick frowns. He knows Jason's right. Jason knows he's right.

"Okay, I got something. Magic signatures from a building on Tenth Street," Tim says. "And I think I'm onto an antidote."

"I'll check it out," Dick says, going to suit up. He looks at Jason. "Are you-?"

Jason nods. "I'm fine. Go."

So Dick does. Tim is able to make an antidote within the hour. He gives it to Jason who injects it into your neck. He feels guilty even though this is what’ll cure you. You wince at the pinch but you don't so much as whimper, endlessly trusting.

"They'll probably crash soon," Tim says, out of your earshot. "I don't know if you should risk the bike."

Jason sighs. Tim's right, and it makes him all the more agitated that his brothers have been helpful and even kind of nice during the whole thing.

You're going to crash soon. Jason has no choice but to bring you up to the Manor.

"Come on, sweetheart," he says, taking your hand and standing.

"Where're we goin'?" you ask, yawning.

"Goin’ t’bed, honey. Aren't ya tired?"

"Hmm. Mmhmm."

"Yeah, thought so."

Jason leads you up the stairs and out of the Cave. He helps keep you steady as you trip up the stairs. He's tempted to just carry you, but he feels like that might be overkill.

Once at the top of the stairs, Jason stops. Swallows.

He hasn't been up here in a while. He slept in his room once after he returned, after a nasty encounter with Scarecrow.

"Wanna sleep in your bed, Jay," you mumble, cheek against his arm.

Jason sighs. "Yeah. Okay, love."

You go to his room. It's clean, as usual—Alfred never let it get dusty. Jason had hoped that if you ever saw his room it would be in much different circumstances. Normal circumstances.

But, well. Here you are.

"Hmm, 's nice," you say as Jason pulls back the bedspread and helps you out of your shoes. You start to take off your pants and he panics.

"Uh! Uh, baby, maybe keep the pants on. You might get cold."

You frown in confusion. "Doesn't feel cold."

"Yeah, but, whew, Alfred blasts the AC! Jus' keep 'em on."

Jason cannot handle seeing you in your underwear. He draws the line there.

"'Kay," you say, and flop onto the sheets. You wiggle around, getting comfortable.

Jason sits in the fat armchair in the corner of the room. Immediately, you sit up.

"Why're you over there?" you ask, eyes wide.

Oh, boy.

"Oh. I was, um, gonna read for a bit. I'll come in in a while."

Your lip trembles. No—

"Don't leave me, Jaybee. Don't leave! Stay with me. I love you!"

Jason rubs his forehead. "Honey—"

"You hate me! You do! I annoy you." Tears gather in your eyes.

Jason hurries to the edge of his bed, climbing in in his jeans and socked feet.

"No, no, love, we covered this. I don't hate ya, hm? Where'd ya get a silly thing like that?"

You quiet as he scoots in beside you. Then you throw most of your limbs over him. Jason stiffens.

"Just got scared," you say, and kiss his chest. "Promise you won't leave?"

Jason breathes in. Breathes out.

"Yeah. I promise."

And he stays.

You wake up with a faint headache and a dry throat. Sunlight peeks through the blinds. You feel warm and safe and well-rested, despite the slight pains.

You stretch, expecting air. Instead, you touch skin. You open your eyes.

Oh. You're in a bedroom.

No, scratch that. You see framed pictures of the Bats, books on shelves.

You're in Jason Todd's childhood bedroom. With the aforementioned tucked under your arm and leg.

You jerk away so hard, you land on the carpeted floor below.

Jason's up instantly, head poking over the bed. His eyes widen.

"Shit! Y'alright? C'mere."

He gets up and practically scoops you into a standing position. Your brain short-circuits: big strong man strong big good nice. Then you recover.

"Um," you say. "Uh. Hmm. Hi."

Jason smiles tightly. "Hey."

"What... how-?"

"Right. How much do you remember?"

You try to think. You remember walking home, drinking tea, an affectionate orange cat. You remember hands on your face and your stomach swooping on a motorcycle and a gentle voice. So gentle.

"You were magicked," Jason says quickly. "It was a, uh, tea shop. Dick's checking it out. You, um, came to me and I took you here and you got an antidote and you didn't want me to, um, leave. So, yeah. Sorry."

You tilt your head. "Why are you apologizing, Jason?"

He sighs. "Just 'cause."

You have no idea what that means. But you feel like Jason's telling you a very condensed version of what happened.

"What was the magic?" you ask.

He winces. "Love spell. You thought you were... in love with me."

Jason says it like he's the one who charmed you. Like he's ashamed of it.

"Oh," you say. Well, you certainly didn't need a spell for that to happen.

"Yeah." Jason's staring at your and his shoes by the door. "But everything's fine now. I can take you home. Dick and Tim'll take care of the tea shop witch."

He doesn't wait for a response, darting to the door and slipping into his shoes. You rush forward and close the door as Jason opens it. He looks at you in confusion.

"Jason," you say softly. "What happened?"

"Whaddya mean? I told you."

"Jason. I've known you for three years. You think I don't know when you're not telling me something?"

He looks at his feet. One of his socks has a hole in the toe.

"There's nothin' to tell," he mumbles. "Magic stuff. Happens all the time. Business as usual."

You frown. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Jay. I admittedly don't remember a lot."

Jason's expression is relief but there's a heaviness to his shoulders. "Well, 's for the best, really. Magic messes with your head."

"Did I make you uncomfortable, Jason? Not letting you leave and—God, I can't imagine how I was on the spell."

He shakes his head fervently. "No! No, no, my God, no. You didn't—you could never—I mean, I wasn't... fuck. No. You didn't make me uncomfortable."

"If you're sure," you say.

He nods. "Hundred percent."

Jason doesn't sound like he's lying. You're pretty good at detecting it, especially when it comes to his feelings.

So why is he acting weird?

Well, duh. A love spell. You probably freaked him out, especially since you really do love him.

"I hope we can still be friends," you offer.

Jason turns to the door.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "'Course we're still friends."

It shouldn't make you ache. Jason's perfectly in the right to not reciprocate how you feel. How can he reciprocate something he doesn’t even know exists?

"You, uh..." Jason scratches the back of his neck. He faces you once more. "You said last night that you were sad. When you were coming home. I just wanted to say, y'know... you can talk to me. 'Bout anything."

This will make all of your problems disappear, she had said. It'd tasted like kombucha—you hadn't had a lot of faith.

Jason begins to open the door. You slide in front of him and slam the door shut with your back. He steps back in surprise.

"Wh—"

"I have to tell you something!" you blurt.

Jason stills. "Okay."

"I adopted you a cat," you say.

He squints. "What?"

"Well, she's still at the shelter but I put her on reserve. Of a sort. I have a friend who works there. She's black and white and likes to cuddle and has two different colored eyes but she can't see very well. Her name is... whatever you want to name her. Because she's yours. And I think you'll love her."

He nods slowly. "I, uh, thanks. Thank you. I was thinking about adopting a—"

"I was sad last night because I kept thinking about how you're gonna love this cat I got you but you'll never love me, and how that's the fucking worst feeling in the world."

You've stunned him silent. Shit.

Seconds tick by. A minute. Two minutes.

"Okay," you say, wanting to jump out of Jason's two-story window. "I'm gonna go drop off the face of the Earth now. Bye."

You open the door. Jason closes it by caging you against it.

And then he kisses you.

Jason pours everything into the kiss. He's not a perfect kisser but it's good. It's magic. He holds your face completely, shuts out the entire world. Kisses the breath out of you.

Yes, you could go on. It's fantastic. It's fireworks. It's sunbeams.

But it's late, probably too late to call, considering Jason doesn't answer his phone unless it's pinged directly to his helmet after a certain time, courtesy of his family being "a buncha jackasses" (his words, obviously).

But maybe it's not too late for a visit. After all, Jason patrols late, and has insane insomnia. He very well could be awake at this late hour. And he's never minded you dropping by before.

In truth, you haven't seen Jason in a few days and you feel restless now when you go longer than a day without seeing each other. You're not quite sure why that is.

So here you are, disabling the window alarm on Jason's apartment. Partly for a case, partly for your own benefit.

It takes a few minutes but you manage to open the window without anyone calling the police or whacking you with a broom. You slide open the window mostly soundlessly. Then you wait. The room remains dark and quiet.

You're pretty proud of yourself actually. It's not that you're green when it comes to spycraft, but you're certainly no Batman.

Still, you've managed to sneak into Jason's apartment without waking him. The Red Hood. You peek in to check if he's really asleep.

And he is, dark hair stark against the white pillow. It sticks out in messy tufts. You can't see past Jason's neck and his freckled arms, illuminated by the orange streetlight outside. You put your laptop bag on the floor.

He's sleeping on his stomach, facing away from you, but you're very endeared by how he's curled up under his sheet, hands tucked under his pillow. If you went really close to his face, you could count his eyelashes. Jason has such pretty eyelashes.

That's a perfectly normal thought to have about your best friend, right? Boys have pretty eyelashes. You're just making an observation.

You're bewildered by how cold the room is, surprised that Jason can withstand such a temperature. Maybe it's a Pit thing.

You watch him for a moment longer. Guilt pools in your gut. Are you really going to wake him when he's probably just gone to bed in the last hour? It takes Jason so long to fall asleep, you know that.

...

No, you should let him sleep. You can work on the case in the morning.

You bend down to get your laptop bag. In that time, the light flicks on.

You flinch, turn around, and find yourself staring down the barrel of a gun.

Said gun is held by an extremely naked Jason Todd.

"Oh my God!" you say at the same time Jason realizes his mistake.

"What the fuck!" he shouts, grabbing a pillow to cover himself.

But not before you get an eyeful of your best friend's, er, weaponry.

"Why are you naked?" you shout, gaze darting everywhere. Good Lord, it's seared into your retinas. You're never getting the image of Jason's dick out of your brain.

"Why are you in my apartment?" Jason snaps back.

"No, my question is way more urgent," you say.

"No the hell it's not! You broke in! I'm allowed to be naked in my apartment!"

"Okay. Alright. I came because there's been a development in our case. I thought we could work on it together but when I realized you were asleep for real, I decided to leave."

Jason rolls his eyes. "You know I'm a light sleeper. I just went to bed. I was up late.”

Realization strikes you. Could it be...?

"Oh my God. Do you have someone here?" you ask, voice sinking to a whisper.

"I have you here," Jason says irritably.

"No, like—" You make a hole with one hand and stick a finger into it. "Y'know..."

"Jesus, no!" Jason's face twists in disgust. "C'mon!"

"Okay, chill out, Jay-Jay. It'd be fine if you did. I can keep a secret," you say, shrugging. People have sex. You know that. You've never thought about Jason having sex, but you suppose it's possible. Why not? Just because you've never had sex and you always hoped that Jason would be your first doesn't mean that he would. If he's moved on in his life, then you should too.

Jason scoffs. "Yeah, okay. You think anybody would get into bed with a headcase like me?"

Hope rekindles. You're not behind. Jason's right there with you, virginity firmly intact.

He puts the safety back on the gun, squishing the pillow against himself with his elbow. You watch in fascination at his multitasking. Jason starts to turn around to put the gun behind the headboard before clearly thinking twice about mooning you.

"So... why are you naked?" you ask, respectfully keeping your eyes north of the equator.

"If you must know, I sleep in the nude. Now turn around."

You don't turn around. "In the nude?"

Jason's eye twitches. "Yes, nude. It's better for your body and it's more comfortable and I don't—"

You pull a face. "Who says in the nude? How old are you, a hundred?"

"That's what you're harping on?" Jason asks. "You broke into my apartment!"

You hold up a finger. "I didn't break in, I disarmed the alarm like you taught me."

"Yeah, which was only for emergencies. This isn't an emergency. Now turn around!"

So you turn around. You hear the pillow fall and the image returns. You recite the alphabet backwards. When that doesn't work, you think about the time you helped Jason on a mission in the sewers and couldn't get the smell out of your suit for a week.

Yeah, that'll do it. You shudder.

"Can't believe you just broke in," he mumbles. "Raised in a fuckin' barn, swear to God."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm truly, honestly sorry, Jaybee. From the bottom of my heart. Can I look now?"

"If you dare."

"Are you decent?" you ask.

"Too easy of a joke," he says. "Yeah, the jewels are covered."

You turn slowly. Jason's got red (ha) boxers on, so you turn all the way.

Huh. Well.

You've never really thought much about what Jason's got going on underneath his armor. Certainly, you've assumed that he's got a good physique and a lot of stamina, considering what he does. You've always assumed that. But Jason's Jason. Your best friend, Jason. Your best friend, Jason, who came back really tall, yeah, and with a deep voice and a super pretty face...

Well, anyway. He's Jason. That's all.

But now? Now you get to look in depth, and... whoa.

Jason's broad, stocky, heavily muscled with a soft layer of fat on top. His arms are huge, hands proportionally big. His pecs are full with pink nipples the same shade as his lips. That's a fact you're never forgetting. Your belly flutters.

Okay, what the fuck! No. This is peak creepy behavior, leering at your best friend like this, even if he does have shoulders you could sink your teeth into and thighs you'd happily get crushed between. No! Bad.

...You look some more. He's covered in scars. This is the first time you've seen his autopsy scar in person. It's white, noticeable but healed, like most of his scars. There's a dusting of dark hair from his chest to his belly button. It thickens as it dips beneath his—

Mm, nope. Not thinking about that again.

"Hello-o."

Your eyes dart back to his face.

"Are you listening to me?" he asks, forehead crinkled.

"What? Yes. Sorry. Yes." Your cheeks burn.

Something crosses Jason's face, too quick for you to read. But then his expression stones over. He glances at the dresser across from the bed.

"If you gimme a sec, I'll put a shirt on so y'won't have to look at all this," he says, gesturing roughly to his body.

You blink, lost in Jasonland. "Huh?"

"I know the scars are pretty gnarly. Lemme find a shirt."

Jason goes to the dresser and digs through the top drawer. His wide back is strung tight with tension, you can tell. You hurry to him, blocking the drawer with your arm. Jason looks at you, brows rising.

"Can I help you?" he asks.

"Um."

Words. You remember words, don't you?

"You..."

You haven't been physically close to Jason in a long time. He smells like soap and detergent and is all-encompassing. Your brain feels like slush. Don't stare at his pecs.

"I didn't—I'm not grossed out by your scars, Jason," you finally manage to say.

Jason raises an eyebrow. "Sure. You're just grossed out by everything else about me." He sighs wearily, like he's practiced this speech every night in the mirror. "Look, it's fine. I know I'm really—"

"No, it's not fine! I can't bear having you think I'm repulsed by your body, Jason. That's just not true," you say.

"Well, you were starin' pretty hard, so—"

"But it wasn't—I wasn't staring in disgust, I was—I..."

Jason crosses his arms. His pecs are pushed up as he does so. His stomach looks so soft. But you know he's strong. Way stronger than you. Strong enough to wield his strength against you, if you wanted him to. Strong enough to be gentle with you, too.

You wonder if he's still ticklish.

"You're doin' it again!" Jason says, and this time he really does look hurt. Fuck. Fuck! You're a shitty best friend.

"No!" You lock eyes with him. "No, no! I mean, yes, I was looking at you. But I wasn't looking in a bad, judgy way. I was, uh, taking in your physique. Because you have a... a very nice body. I've never seen you without clothes so I was looking at you. Sorry."

Yeah, you'll just go die in a hole after this.

Jason squints at you for a long moment. You start to shift in place. Sweat beads on your forehead. You lick your lips, hoping Jason can hear your honesty.

"Are you messin' with me?"

"Huh?" You shake your head. "No, why would I—"

"You're really telling me that you find this," Jason gestures to his body, "Good looking?"

This is worse than any physical torture. You'd prefer Batman beating you up on a roof to being here.

You rub your temple, cheeks aflame. "Oh my God. Yes, Jason, you're a good looking guy. Can we move on?"

"No, 'cause I think you're lyin', and I don't like it. You're always honest with me."

"I am being honest," you say, suddenly more annoyed than anything. Because what the fuck? "Are you kidding me? There's a whole forum dedicated to the Red Hood and how much people want you to step on them. And that's without seeing your face! I have eyes, Jason, of course I find you attractive."

And that should be the end of it. Jason's already slack-jawed like a dead fish. But no, you keep going.

"You make me nervous and I thought I had a lid on it because we knew each other as kids but it's becoming clear that I very much don't, and that probably has to do with the fact that you're the only guy I've been close to, and I never got over you. And now I'm gonna go drown myself in the Hudson. Good night."

You go to slip out the window. Maybe it'll shut on your head and knock you out. That would be a divine gift.

It doesn't, though. The universe isn't so kind. Instead, Jason catches your arm and keeps you rooted to your spot. His hand is cold. You wonder if the rest of him is warm.

"Wait, wait. Just hang on."

You groan. "Dude, I'm fucking mortified over the last five minutes. Please let me keep some of my dignity," you say without looking at him.

"Now when have I ever done that?" You can hear the smile in his voice.

And suddenly, the miserable reality of never being more than friends with Jason Todd comes crashing down. It's too late. You've always been too late.

You sag in his grip.

"We can just forget this ever happened," you say quietly. "Chalk it up to idiocy."

"Mm, yeah, we could. 'Cept I don't think you're an idiot. And I want you to hear what I have t'say first. Will ya look at me?"

Mopily, you look at him. His hand drops.

"I—"

"You've never slept naked," you say before he can get a word out. "That's new. Otherwise, I would've known, and then I would've used the door."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Can I speak?"

You cross your arms. "Yeah, okay."

"First of all, I don't think it's necessary for me to disclose that I sleep in the nude." You open your mouth to argue. "But I know it was a mistake. I'm not mad about that. Okay?"

You nod. "Okay."

"I won't lie and say I'm not surprised at your... reaction. I don't really... I've never... I'm not Dick or Bruce, y'know? I wasn't told my whole life what a handsome boy I am. And dying and returning didn't really help with that stuff either."

"I think you're handsome, Jason," you say quietly. "Honest."

He coughs and looks away, a tiny blush on his cheeks. "Yeah, uh, think you've made that pretty clear. For the record, I think you're really beautiful. Always thought so."

Your eyes widen. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. I mean... yeah."

"You're just saying that 'cause I saw your vein cane," you say, grinning.

"Don't call it that."

"How about—"

"No."

You're both quiet.

"How 'bout pork swor—"

"No!"

You smile, eyes squinty. Jason glares.

"Don't nickname my thing," he says.

You nod solemnly. "You're right. It's your thing. You should choose its name."

He shakes his head. "Sucha weirdo."

"Hey, I've never been with a guy. I don't know the rules of thing-naming."

Jason tilts his head. "Never?"

"Never."

"Why?"

You shrug. "Never found anyone I liked enough, I guess. I've pretty much had my heart set on you, Jason."

His face softens. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, uh, me too," he says. "You're it for me, honey. I just never... I mean, really, I never thought it would actually happen with you. Not then, not now."

"Huh. You really should've flashed me earlier. We could've sped things up exponentially."

"Yeah, why didn't I think of that," Jason says dryly.

"Dunno! We all know you're more than a pretty face."

His face reddens. You grin.

"Are you shy?" you ask, dancing on your toes.

"No. Shut up."

"You're shy! I make Jason Todd shy! Oh, this is wonderful. I should break into your apartment regularly."

"It's just new for me!" he says. "Lea' me alone."

You cozy up to him, confidence renewed by the mutual confession. You wrap your arms around his neck. Jason looks at you, hands slowly coming to rest on your waist. The rest of him is warm.

"Just teasing you, Jaybee," you say.

"Hmm." He slowly nudges your cheek with his nose. "Like y'always do?"

"Like I always do," you say sweetly. "But for the record, if we ever share a bed in the future, you're gonna have to keep the soldier in his tent."

Jason lets go of you, exasperated. "Oh, for—y'know what? Your visitation privileges are revoked. Get outta my apartment."

You put on the saddest face you can muster. "You're kicking me out? Into the cold?"

"It's eighty degrees."

You sigh loudly. "Okay, fine. Date tomorrow?"

"Seriously?" Jason asks, sounding genuinely surprised.

"Seriously! Why wouldn't I be serious?"

"You really wanna date me?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my life."

Jason's relief is palpable and bittersweet. You'll spend the rest of your days letting him know just how spectacular he and his pectorals are.

"Okay," he says, shy again. You don't tease him this time.

"Great!" You close the distance between you and peck him on the cheek. His blinks in surprise.

"I'll give you a proper kiss on our date," you say, winking. "Bye, Jasey-Daisy."

"Bye, honey. Don't break into anyone else's apartment on your way home."

Theres a easier way tho

I could take one for the team and get you pregnant

I'll be strong for you

It's hard rasing a kid on your own

To all of that, he'd simply replied, It's raising, then went right back to patrol like you hadn't just offered to impregnate him.

"Sweetheart, there's a send button," he replies with the patience of a saint. Gunshots erupt in the background and there's a curse thrown carelessly.

You’re attempting to send him the playlist you had made. It was a mix of songs perfectly curated to ones that reminded you of your best friend. There was a lot of dad music, a touch of heavy metal. You were tempted to throw in a love song, but dealing with the aftermath of doing so held you back.

"Don't sweetheart me, the fucking thing isn't loading now," you groan, tapping aggressively.

"You know, that doesn't make it go faster, right?" He grunts. There's a loud boom from his side.

"Says the guy who broke my TV because he thought hitting it would bring it back to life," you retort, squinting at your phone screen. You go to turn the brightness down.

 "'M still better at technology than you," he says, then shouts, "Robin, I said on my left!" 

You hear Robin's voice, but you can't make out the words. Something insulting, probably. 

"Little shit can't even listen to basic instructions."

"Me or Damian?" you ask without missing a beat.

"Both."

Once the playlist loads, you tap the send button without much thought. "Kay, I did it, listen to it now," you demand, lying back down on your bed.

"Sure thing, doll. Lemme just stop the Joker from turning Gotham into his playground."

"Gotham's already his playground," you mumble. 

For a while, you're quiet, listening as Jason occasionally shouts orders through the comms. It should be unsettling. The gunfire, the crashes, the constant danger he's in. Instead, it lulls you to sleep. He's here, breathing, and on call with you like he didn't want to part either.

"You done yet?"

"I'm putting it on. Happy now?" His hoarse voice brings you out of your thoughts. It's deeper than it was before. Nicer, too. 

You grin, sitting up as your blanket pools around your hips. "Only if you come over too." 

"Demanding little thing," he scoffed. But you know he's already on his way. 

A few minutes pass. You can hear the distant hum of his motorcycle through the comms.

Then he clears his throat. "Baby making music?"

Horror crashes over you. You snatch your phone off the bed so fast it almost slips from your hands. "Shit,' you whisper, frantically searching for what you sent. 

And lo and behold, it's that playlist, not the one you'd carefully curated for Jason. "Jay, I can explain—

"Fucked my way up to the top reminds you of me?" There's laughter in his voice now.

"No!"

"Guilty as sin?" He snorts.

"Oh my god, Jason, stop." Your hands are covering your warm face, phone lying on your bed. You're never living this down. 

He pauses. "There's a lot of Lana Del Rey,"

You swallow, your fingers curl around your blanket. "Well," you start quietly. "Don't get it twisted, you're pretty Lana Del Rey, but your dad? He embodies a Lana Del Rey song—

"Stop talkin' about Bruce like that," he groans.

"Your dad's hot." 

"You're trying to change the subject."

"Your older brother's also hot." You muster up the courage to add, "and don't call me that."

"Doll," His voice isn't teasing anymore. It's lower, like that comment about Dick took away all the humor.

"I've run out of age appropriate family members," you swallow. Except Jason. But you couldn't exactly say that. "Does Kate count? Bruce's exes? cause they're fine as hell too."

He grumbles under his breath. "Open the fucking window."

"You're here?" You freeze, voice coming out breathless.

The window snaps open with a sharp bang. The sound travels all the way to your room. You close your eyes. Why did it feel like you were in trouble?

The thump of boots echoes through the room. When it finally stops, you open your eyes to find Jason leaning against your doorframe, arms crossed in a way that makes his muscles more defined under the fabric. He’s taken off his helmet, his hair slightly damp, strands falling messily over his forehead.

And his eyes.

They’re on you, fierce and darker than what you're used to, like he’s a second away from hauling your ass straight to Arkham. It sends a pleasant feeling through you. 

You laugh nervously. "Heyyyy, you're not still mad about me finding your brother—what the fuck are you doing—

He stalks over to you until he’s standing right in front of you, close enough that you have to tilt your head back to keep eye contact.

"You're acting weird," you tell him, trying to keep yourself still.

"That playlist—

"Was a random one I accidentally sent!" 

He tilts his head. “So. You wanna play me the right one now?"

He shifts, sliding onto the bed beside you, his shoulder bumping yours as he settles in. You grimace. No way he’s had time to shower, but you don’t move away. Not when he’s this close.

You give him one of your wired earbuds.

Your head bumps his when he puts his on. You bite back a smile at sharing earbuds with him.

You hit play on your phone, sneaking a glance at him, trying to read his reaction.

He’s already looking at you. Then he rolls his eyes and looks away.

“Can’t believe I remind you of a Radiohead song.”

“Would you prefer fucked my way up to the top?”

masterlist

once again i’m not sure what i wrote