achinglovers

"No," you said flatly, but your lips twitched.

Shen sighed dramatically, stood up and shuffled toward the door. "Unbelievable. I give and I give." He paused in the doorway, looking back at you with genuine affection. "You know I'm just gonna keep asking, right?"

"I know," you said softly.

Shen shook his head and left, the door closing behind him and just like that, it was just you and Jack.

You sat there for a moment, trying to recover from the overwhelming embarrassment. You pulled at your hair tie again, snapping it against your wrist just to feel something other than the weight of his presence in the room.

Jack finished making his coffee and finally turned around. He leaned against the counter, cradling the warm cup in both hands, and looked at you across the room.

"So, a crush, huh?"

You met his eyes and immediately shook your head. "Not you too," you mumbled, dropping your gaze back to your hands.

He chuckled weakly as he watched you.

You pulled at your hair tie again and again and again and again, until the silence was too much.

"Just a small one," you mumbled. "Nothing will come of it. Probably. So don't worry. HR won't have to get involved." You looked up at him then, meeting his eyes with a weak and embarrassed grin. Because he was your boss, after all.

He laughed at that, still weak. "Why do you think nothing will come of it?" he asked gently, and then he took a sip of his coffee, but his eyes stayed on yours.

"Because I'm not going to say anything."

Jack lowered his mug. "Why not?"

You swallowed. The hair tie snapped against your wrist one more time, and you forced yourself to stop, to let your hands fall limp in your lap. "I don't feel like being rejected, Jack," you said softly.

You had the privilege of calling him Jack because he'd told you so once, months ago. You never used it as much as you wanted to.

Jack watched you for a long moment, his hazel eyes piercing yours. "Now who would reject you?" he asked.

You couldn't help the shy smile that formed on your face.

Jack smiled immediately in return. His heart was hammering in his chest, loud enough that he was sure you could hear it from across the room. He took another sip of his coffee just to have something to do.

"I'm not taking a chance with that," you said, still smiling. "Thank you, though."

He shook his head slightly, the mug still near his lips. "You should."

He only said it so he could figure out who it was. That's what he told himself. He just wanted to know. It was just professional curiosity.

You stared at him, and then you plucked at your hair tie so hard it left a mark on your skin. "Jack, I am not confessing to someone I have a crush on at work," you sounded genuinely appalled.

He chuckled at your reaction. "Who is it? Maybe I have some intel."

You shot him a sharp look. "Don't even try."

He laughed for real this time. "Oh, come on, sweetheart. I've had lifetimes of experience. I'm sure I can help you out."

"Not happening," you said, shaking your head, but you were smiling again.

Jack tilted his head, studying you. "Is it a resident?" he asked, watching your face for any tell.

"Jack," you said, half a warning, half a plea.

"Intern?" he pressed.

"Ew, no," you mumbled, and the disgust in your voice was so genuine that Jack had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning.

You hadn't had any pleasure with any of the interns. For some reason, every new batch that rotated through thought they were above everyone else. Too smart for bedside manner and too important for basic respect apparently. You didn't get along with them, and Jack knew that. He'd had to save you from social interactions with them more than once.

Jack nodded slowly, pretending to think. "So not an intern. Not a resident." He took another sip of his coffee, his eyes never leaving yours. "That doesn't leave many options."

There was a long pause and the Jack broke the silence first. "Attending?" he asked, unable to hide the worry in his voice. If you said no right now, if it sounded genuine— he wasn't sure how he was going to deal with heartbreak at the ripe age of fifty, but he knew it would hurt.

"Yup," you mumbled sarcastically, still not looking at him. "You got it. I'm crushing on Robby."

Jack paused. "Seriously?" he asked, and his voice had dropped an octave.

You finally looked up from your hair tie. Your eyes met his, and you saw genuine horror in his eyes.

"What? No!" you called out, waving your hands in front of you like you were physically erasing the words from the air. "I'm joking!"

You giggled and you could have sworn you saw him let out a sigh of relief. His shoulders dropped just slightly and his grip on his coffee mug loosened.

"Jesus—no way, no." You shook your head in disbelief that he'd even thought for a second you'd be interested in Robby. "Robby? Really, Jack?"

Jack grinned, but it was shaky around the edges. "Who then?" he asked, and his voice was steadier now.

"Jack," you said, and you stood up from your seat.

Jack raised his head, following your movements as you crossed toward the door. His eyes stayed on you the whole time until you were standing at the doorway, and only then did his gaze drop back to his coffee.

You paused with your hand on the door frame, watching him for a second. Your eyes drifted to the back of his head, to those gray curls that were always just a little too long, that always made you want to reach out and—

You quickly opened the door before he could notice you standing there, watching him like some kind of creep.

Hours passed. You moved on autopilot, your body knowing what to do even when your brain was somewhere else entirely.

You tried not to think about Jack. You tried really hard, but every time you turned a corner, you expected to see him. Every time someone called your name, your heart jumped. It was pathetic.

Jack finally got a breather around 4am.

He sat down at one of the computers and let out a small groan under his breath as he stretched his leg out in front of him.

Despite feeling the need to always be working, he didn't exactly hate charting as much as other people did. Mostly because it gave him an excuse to rest his leg for a moment without feeling like he was taking an actual break. Charting was work. It counted. No one could look at him typing up notes and accuse him of slacking off.

He moved his mouse around, pulling up the next chart, when he heard the squeak of wheels.

Shen rolled his chair next to him, sipping what appeared to be a new iced coffee. Jack didn't know how Shen's heart was still functioning.

"So," Shen said, taking a loud and obnoxious sip, "did she confess?"

Jack shot him a look from the side, not turning his head, still moving his mouse around in slow circles on the screen. "Confess what?"

He knew Shen meant you. He could feel it in the way Shen was looking at him, that weird look he always got when he talked about you. Jack had never been able to figure out what that look meant. He'd brushed it off for weeks as Shen just being friendly, or maybe Shen having a crush on you himself. Which was fine. That was fine. Jack had no claim on you. He had no right to feel anything about who you spent your time with.

Shen shrugged, taking another sip. "You know. Who she's crushing on. She tell you after I left?"

Jack's jaw tightened as he kept his eyes on the screen. "No."

"Did you ask?"

Jack finally turned to look at Shen, and something in his expression must have been sharper than he intended, because Shen held up his free hand.

"Okay, okay. Just wondering." Shen leaned back in his chair, spinning his coffee cup between his palms.

Jack didn't respond. He turned back to his computer and started typing, his fingers moving faster than necessary, the keys clicking loudly in the relative quiet of the nursing station.

For the past two hours, as he'd worked, his mind had been circling back to that moment in the breakroom. You'd said no to Robby, but there was only one other attending left. Shen.

He'd been trying his best to avoid both you and Shen for the rest of the shift, because if Shen was so desperate to know if you had a crush on him, if Shen wanted to take you on some fancy Dunkin' date, Jack wanted to know nothing about it.

He thought about how many times he'd paired you up with Shen over the past couple of months, how many times he'd specifically assigned you to Shen's cases, how many times he'd told you to go ask Shen for help. He'd done it on purpose, because when he'd first realized he had feelings for you Jack had tried his best to get rid of them. He couldn't be crushing on his resident, could he?

Well, he had been.

So he'd done the logical thing and distanced himself and now look what he'd done.

Months later, he still had feelings for you. They hadn't gone anywhere. They'd just buried themselves deeper, grown roots, wrapped around his ribs and squeezed every time you laughed at one of his stupid jokes.

Except now you were in love with someone else.

He didn't know that for sure, but you were just so close with Shen.

Shen took another slow sip of his iced coffee. His eyes were fixed on Jack with an expression that hovered somewhere between curiosity and concern. It seemed like he wanted to say something else, but then he changed his mind, swallowed whatever it was along with the last of his caffeine.

"Did she at least tell you an initial?"

Jack closed his eyes for a second and counted to three. He reminded himself that Shen was his friend, that Shen had never done anything to him and that Shen was relaxed and chill and genuinely a good person to have around during a bad shift.

Then he opened his eyes and turned to look at Shen.

And look Jack really did like Shen, but right now, he was also pissing Jack off.

"She didn't," Jack gritted out through his teeth, trying his absolute best to appear kind.

Shen took another sip, completely oblivious. "Nothing?" he asked again. "No hint? No cryptic clue? She didn't even give you a vague direction to point us in?"

Jack wanted to rip that Dunkin' cup out of Shen's hands and pour it over his head. He wanted to watch the brown liquid drip down Shen's perfectly relaxed face and soak into his perfectly unwrinkled scrubs. He wanted Shen to sputter and cough and look at Jack with betrayed eyes while coffee pooled in his lap.

"No," he mumbled, turning back to his computer screen even though he hadn't typed a single word in the last three minutes.

Shen hummed thoughtfully, spinning his empty cup between his palms. "Huh."

Jack stared at the blinking cursor on his screen. It mocked him. It blinked and blinked and blinked, waiting for him to be useful. He didn't mean to say what came next.

"It's probably J or some crap like that."

He knew he sounded pissed, but he also knew that this was the only way to get John Shen off his back, to hand him the answer on a silver platter so Shen could go find you and live out whatever romance he had brewing in his head.

Shen's face lit up. "See!" he called out, loud enough that a passing nurse glanced over at them. "I knew it! I knew it!"

Jack's fingers curled into a loose fist under the desk.

"God, Parker owes me like fifty bucks." Shen was practically glowing now, grinning from ear to ear. "I knew she'd admit it first. I told her. I said, 'Parker, she's going to crack before the end of the week,' and Parker said—"

Jack tuned him out. He closed his eyes again, and this time he let himself picture Shen drenched in iced coffee. The image brought a small amount of satisfaction. Jack opened his eyes and kept moving the mouse in slow useless circles.

"—so anyway, I really owe you one, man." Shen was still talking. "This is huge." He smiled happily, before finally looking back at Jack. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"What am I going to do about it?" he repeated slowly. Jack turned his head fully toward Shen, not even bothering to seem friendly this time.

Shen tilted his head further, studying Jack's face. "Did you at least ask her out?" he asked slowly as if Jack might be stupid.

And maybe Jack was stupid, because he had no idea what Shen was talking about.

"Why should I ask her out for you?" Jack mumbled, turning back to his computer. He was done with this conversation and with Shen's grinning face. He wanted to go back to his charts where nothing hurt and no one had crushes on anyone.

"What?" Shen finally said.

Jack didn't reply. He prayed that Shen would take the hint and roll his chair back to his own computer and leave Jack alone with his misery.

"If you guessed the initial was J," Shen said slowly, drawing out each word like he was explaining something to a child, "why didn't you ask her out?"

Jack's fingers froze over the keyboard. He was feeling stupid now, really genuinely stupid.

Shen leaned forward slightly. "You do know your name starts with a J, right?" he asked, and he sounded genuinely confused now.

"Well, so does yours," Jack shot back.

He was well aware that this was a baseless theory. He'd just made up the fact that you were crushing on someone with a J because he'd assumed that you liked John Shen.

The two men stared at each other.

Before Jack could say another word, Shen burst into laughter and made a couple of nearby nurses glance over with raised eyebrows.

"Is this a joke?" Shen asked between gasps. "Did you already ask her out and now you're messing with me so I won't get my fifty bucks?"

Jack stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "What?" Jack asked, genuinely lost now. "I didn't ask her out. Why'd you keep asking me that?"

The grin slowly faded from Shen's face, now almost pitying. He stared at Jack for ten full seconds before finally speaking. "Because, she's crushing on you." Shen pointed at Jack with his Dunkin' cup for emphasis, drops of brown liquid splashing onto the desk. "J. As in Jack Abbot. Which, by the way, is you."

Jack didn't move or say anything as he stared at his coworker.

Shen set his cup down on the desk and leaned back in his chair, looking almost amused again. "Parker and I were just teasing her. We've known she liked you since like day one." He chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm glad she finally told you. I didn't think she ever would."

Jack's hands had gone still on the keyboard.

Shen, oblivious, kept talking. "We've been betting on who would confess first—you or her." He picked up his cup again and took a long sip. "Guess I won. Finally."

After a long pause Jack finally spoke. "Guess you did," he mumbled.

He turned back to his computer screen, clearly dismissing Shen and Shen finally took the hint. He stood up, grabbed his empty cup, and patted Jack on the shoulder one more time. "Good luck, man," he said quietly, and then he was gone.

Jack stared at the screen.

What?

There was no way.

It didn't make sense. You were too smart to like someone like him. You had too much common sense and too much going for you. You couldn't like him.

And yet his brain started supplying him with little moments he'd filed away and tried very hard not to think about.

You were exceptionally kind to him. You'd told him once, like it was nothing, that you loved working with him. You spent a lot of time around him, more than you needed to. You always seemed to find a reason to be in whatever room he was in.

And whenever he went to the roof, you'd find him.

You'd just sit down against the wall, pulling your knees up to your chest. You worried about him. He could see it on your face whenever he came off the roof edge and walked back to you. You usually didn't say anything, which he appreciated more than he could ever put into words. You'd just hold out your hands, and he'd pull you up and you'd walk back inside together without a word.

You also got flustered around hima lot, especially when he called you sweetheart.

Jack turned his head. Through an open doorway he could see into one of the exam rooms. You were in there, talking to a mom who'd brought in a child with a broken wrist. The kid was maybe six years old, totally absorbed in an iPad.

There's no way, right?

Jack didn't even want to think about his own behavior, because God knows he spent his free time flirting with you. He loved flirting with you.

You were checking the little girl's wrist once more and the girl looked up at you and you smiled at her. You softly patted her head, smoothing down her hair, as you continued to comfort the mom with words Jack couldn't hear from this distance.

Did he have a chance with you?

It was just rumors, but if Parker believed you were crushing on him, it had to be true. Parker loved gossip, but she only enjoyed true gossip.

He trusted Parker, not so much Shen, but still.

He didn't even notice you walking up until you were standing at the nurses station right in front of him. You leaned against the counter, peeking down at him with a smile.

"Hi, Jack," you said, and his name sounded different in your mouth now or maybe he was just hearing it differently. "Charting?"

"Yeah," he finally managed. He cleared his throat. "Bit behind."

He eyed you as you pushed off the counter and rounded the corner. You pulled out the chair Shen had abandoned twenty minutes ago and rolled it next to Jack's. "Need help?"

You stared at the computer screen, scanning the chart, before looking back at Jack. He was still staring at you, he realized. He was mostly now seeing you in a different light, because now he had to be observant of your reactions to him.

So he just smiled. "No, I'm good, sweetheart."

He moved his chair aside slightly, making room, and you rolled closer without hesitation. Your knee bumped against his for just a second before you pulled back, and Jack saw you bite your lip right as the word sweetheart left his mouth.

"You did a good job with that little girl," he added, deciding to push a bit.

You looked at him, leaning back in your chair, a surprised smile spreading across your face. "Yeah? You saw that?"

He nodded. "Could see how relieved the mom was."

"Oh, I'm so glad. She came in so terrified, and the little girl wouldn't stop crying." You paused, your smile softening. "Thank you, Jack."

Jack smiled back. "You always do a good job. You don't have to thank me for pointing out the obvious."

You lit up even more and you looked down at your hands, then at your shoes and then back at him

Yeah, Jack thought. Parker was right.

That was all he could think as you looked down at your shoes. Your shoes, which were pointed right at him.

Jack took risks that night.

He dragged you from room to room with him and by the third time he called your name, Lena shot him a weird look from across the hall, but she also seemed weirdly happy about it.

You, on the other hand, had zero complaints.

Every time he called for you, your head whipped around like some excited puppy, a smile already forming on your lips before you even knew what he wanted. He found it endearing.

As he led you into an exam room, his hand found the small of your back and when he glanced down at you, you seemed delighted. But you stumbled over your greeting to the patient and you got so flustered that you could barely talk to the next patient either.

Jack happily took over.

By the time day shift started trickling in, the night crew was shuffling exhausted towards the lockers.

You seemed awfully happy for someone who'd worked twelve hours and so was Jack.

Jack leaned against the row of lockers, watching you. You shook your hair out slowly, your fingers working through the tangles. You were humming something under your breath and you looked so happy that he almost didn't want to interrupt.

He admired you for a second, before he stepped closer.

"I'll walk you to your car," he said softly.

You looked up, startled and then your face broke into that smile. "Thank you." You grabbed your bag quickly, swinging it over your shoulder, and turned to face him with the biggest smile.

You happily chitchatted about everything and nothing. Conversation came easy with you, it always had.

Jack thought about that as he led you to your car, how much he enjoyed just sitting next to you in comfortable silence and how much he adored seeing you. How much he adored you.

When you finally got to your car, you stopped talking. The sunrise painted everything in soft gold and he saw you admire it for a second, before opening your car door.

"Thank you, Jack," you said softly.

Jack shot you a smile as you tossed your backpack onto the passenger seat and then you turned back to say goodbye.

Jack finally found the courage to say what he'd been thinking about the entire time. "Did you know Shen and Parker have a bet going?"

You raised your eyebrows, finally meeting his eyes again. You leaned back against your car and crossed your arms over your chest.

"No," you said, confused. "About what? Why didn't they include me?" you asked, and now you actually sounded offended. "Shen always loses. I could've won some money."

Jack chuckled. "It's about us."

You froze, your arms fell to your side and your eyes widened. "What?" you asked, and your voice came out smaller than before. "What do you mean us?"

The way you said us made Jack's heart stutter. For a second, he almost backed off. "They're betting on which one of us will confess to the other first," he said.

Your brow furrowed deeper. "Confess what?"

You sounded so dumbfounded that Jack almost laughed again. You sounded like he had earlier with Shen. He chuckled nervously. "That we like each other," he said.

"Like how?" The words came out fast, you looked like you were in genuine distress

Jack laughed out loud now, still nervous. "Sweetheart, I think you know how," he said softly.

You stared at him and then finally mumbled, "Right." You shuffled your foot against the pavement, scraping the toe of your shoe back and forth. Your hands found each other in front of you, fingers twisting together. "Weird bet," you mumbled.

Jack tilted his head, still watching you. "Is it that weird?"

You glanced up at him, and your expression exposed you fully. You looked terrified.

Jack felt awful and also deeply endeared by you. He tilted his head, angling himself so he could meet your downcast eyes. When he finally caught your gaze, you stared at him.

"Is it weird to you?" you whispered.

Jack smiled. How endearing, he thought. "No," he said softly. "I don't think it's weird."

You stared at him and he stared at you. And that's when Jack finally made a decision. "Think Shen's going to lose this one," Jack mumbled as he finally stepped closer.

You lifted your head, trying to figure out where this was going. Your heart was slamming against your ribs and it only got worse when he framed your face with his hands.

His palms were warm against your cheeks and his fingers were gentle. "I like you," he said, and his voice was steady even though his hands were not. "And I'd like to kiss you. Is that okay?"

This was the scariest thing he's ever done in his life.

You were staring at him, eyes wide open, barely grappling that he was holding your face.

"What?" you whispered.

Jack's lips twitched into a small nervous smile. He pulled back just a fraction and asked again. "You okay with me kissing you, sweetheart?"

He was grinning now, because as he pulled back, you followed him, just enough that your chin tilted up, your eyes dropping to his lips.

"You wanna kiss me?"

"Very much so," he said gently.

Your whole face lit up and you finally nodded.

He quickly pressed his lips to yours. Your hands flew up and gripped his wrists as you pressed back against him with a happy little sound that Jack felt more than heard.

Jack couldn't believe what was happening. He certainly couldn't believe he was kissing your sweet lips. You were such a sweet kisser too, soft and eager and wonderfully responsive, and he couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips even as he kissed you.

He pulled back after a moment just to look at you, but you hurried to chase his lips with yours, and Jack chuckled as he allowed you to kiss him again. He tilted his head, changing the angle, and you sighed against his mouth like you'd been waiting for this your whole life.

When you finally pulled back, your eyes were wide. Jack chuckled softly as he pushed your hair behind your ears, his fingers lingering on the shell of your ear, trailing down to your jaw.

"You're a nice kisser," you whispered.

You smiled when he tilted his head so your lips would keep brushing with every word. His breath was warm against your mouth, and you didn't want to pull away, not ever.

"So are you, sweetheart," he mumbled against your lips. "Really good."

You beamed up at him and then he pressed a kiss to your nose. "I can't wait to tell Shen that he lost another bet," he mumbled, and there was a smugness in his voice that made you giggle.

But then you perked up. "He bet on me?"

Jack nodded, his hands still cradling your face, his thumbs still stroking your cheekbones. "He thought you'd confess first."

You giggled again. "Well, that's on him. He should've known I'd never take the first step."