⚡️💕✨

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

never "look inside" yourself btw i just tried it and there was already someone in there looking back it was so awkward

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

the canary in the coal mine is cute… the thousand dead miners turn ugly as they rot

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

a lot of people were krilled

this is what it looks like inside bottles of olive oil