L'Antre de la Dragonne

There’s a significant commotion in the Shinra mansion basement outside Vincent’s chamber. Cloud tagged along with Zack to help get through to Sephiroth in the library, wandered off exploring, and somehow managed to lock himself and Vincent inside. The Turks have been called in because the potential PR disaster of a Nibelheim local being trapped (or worse, dying) in a Shinra facility due to gross negligence would be catastrophic.

Zack, ear pressed against the door: Cloud! Buddy can you hear me?! Can you breathe?!

Cloud, muffled: I’m fine! Seriously, stop yelling!

Tseng: Cloud, listen carefully. It’ll just be a moment. Cissnei is currently attempting to recode the door’s security panel. In the meantime, can you describe what you see around you? Any alternate exits?

Cloud: Actually, I’m in here with this really nice man who— *muffled talking*—oh, he says his name is Vincent.

Tseng: VALENTINE?

*Tseng immediately shoves Zack away from the door*

Zack: ????

Tseng: So the rumors are true....the legendary Vincent Valentine...this is where he resides. I can hardly believe it. After all these years—

Cissnei, typing: You might want to give Cloud instructions from the other side so he can help us bypass this security faster.

Tseng: Of course. Cloud, ask him for an autograph! Make it out to Tseng, but be casual about it!

Cissnei: I meant instructions for the KEYPAD.

Cloud: ...Uh, guys? He just told me a bunch of really concerning stuff, and from what I’ve gathered, there’s a chance he might be related to Sephiroth.

Tseng: I KNEW IT!

*Sephiroth, visibly sleep deprived and irritable from days in the library, stumbles in*

Sephiroth: What is all this yelling? I’m trying to read.

Zack: Cloud’s stuck in there with your father.

*Tseng is taking a break in a vacant hallway when he hears a dragging sound. He looks up to see Sephiroth pulling Professor Hojo’s unconscious body by the ankle*

Tseng: Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Oh. Tseng. He, uh... he fell.

Tseng: He fell.

Sephiroth: Yes. Tripped on the carpeting. Poor installation, really. I’m escorting him to Medical.

Tseng: Medical is in the opposite direction. It looks like you’re dragging him toward that empty utility closet.

Sephiroth: Preposterous. Why would I do that when he’s in perfect health?

Tseng: There’s a fist-shaped imprint on his forehead.

Sephiroth: That’s just a blemish.

Tseng: His head is actively bleeding.

Sephiroth: The elderly bleed easily.

Tseng: The blood is on your coat.

Sephiroth: With our line of work, blood is a regular occurrence.

Tseng: His eyes are open and rolled back into his skull.

Sephiroth: Indicative of restful sleep. REM cycle, probably.

Tseng: SEPHIROTH.

Sephiroth: Fine. He hid behind a corner and jumped out to test my reflexes. I have actual combat reflexes, so I punched him in the face and knocked him unconscious. I would own up to the consequences, but frankly, I don’t want to.

Tseng, pinching the bridge of his nose: Just... just leave him there. I’ll handle it and pretend I never saw you.

Sephiroth: I appreciate it

*Sephiroth drops Hojo’s ankle and walks away*

Tseng: Honestly, the things I have to deal with around here.

*Not ten seconds later, the sound of dragging resumes. Tseng turns to see Rufus emerging from around the corner, pulling President Shinra’s limp body by the ankle*

Tseng: !

Rufus: Oh. Tseng. He, uh... he fell.

Sephiroth: Zack, you didn’t submit your mission report for the Dust Bowl reconnaissance.

Zack: Oh yeah! I totally wrote it, but here’s the thing—the VP’s dog ate it :/

*Sephiroth produces a glare so lacerating that Zack immediately begins to crumble under its weight*

Zack: OKAY, OKAY! I fed it to the VP’s dog. But it still ate it, so technically I’m not lying??

Sephiroth, pinching the bridge of his nose: Why would you willingly feed a dog your mission report?

Zack: Because the mission was embarrassing, alright? And I realized after I wrote the whole thing that it’d be permanently archived in Shinra’s database forever. So now it’s erased from history.

Sephiroth: You know what? I don’t have the patience for this today. I’ll pretend you submitted a passable report and we’ll call it a day.

Zack: YES! Just as planned :)

[Meanwhile, in Rufus’ office]

*Darkstar is hacking and gagging*

Rufus: What’s wrong, Dee? Come here, let me see—

*Darkstar vomits up a soggy, crumpled ball of paper. Rufus picks it up with two fingers, unfurls it delicately, and squints at the smudged ink*

Rufus: “.....The Mission Where Cloud and I Got Drunk, Tied The knot At The Gold Saucer And A Sephiroth Impersonator Officiated The Ceremony: A Confidential Report by Zack Fair.”

Rufus: You see, Tseng? Everyone’s getting married but us.

"I must say, I'm used to being inspected by the ladies... but this is the first time I've felt this way with a man."

Not even a "Hi" or "Hello" before the pinning starts.

agott would actually like to deal with these coco feelings in less than 2 decades, preferably

early richeh-agott dynamic is probably fun to see since on top of the two of them being polar opposites, one holds grudges and the other one is emotionally constipated

fox wife 🦊 (continuation of my snow leopard x fox AU!)

post Holmes Freak Case

Later...

Decided that Heiji independently got tangled with the BO around the same time that Shinichi did, so by the time they meet Heiji already knows about the BO and is an agent in it and his first mission was investigating Kudo Shinichi.

I mentioned it in another post but I'm giving AU!Heiji the little stud earring to differentiate him from canon!Heiji

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,

     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.

Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille

     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.

Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem

     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis

Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,

     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.

Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas

    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,

Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,

     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,

Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

Super early Father’s Day art. More doodles to come, featuring different stages of Charlie’s life!

The two panel’s silhouette are suppose to be old fashion cameras and a journalist from the early 19th century. Was too lazy to actually draw them out, but they look hella confusing without details. Oh well! There’s more to come so stay tuned.