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a problem i keep butting up with now that i Interact With Family I Married Into is like, i just don’t think being mean is the worst thing someone could do. i would rather someone be mean and right and be in my life than like, accept the antivax wont give their kid soy milk bc of Hormones or whatever trumpy freak bc they’re Nice. and it feels impossible to explain this because i somehow seem to come off like i just don’t understand. but like, i do. i’d rather be around the mean weirdo who’s not actively materially harmful in their world view. but maybe this is wrong? but i don’t think it is????? thoughts?????

i hate money. i hate how impossible it feels to make or keep money, especially with a kid. but selfishly i hate that i have no clothes that make me feel comfortable in my like 18 months postpartum body that has settled very differently and that it is frivolous and overwhelming to spend any money on myself. so i just walk around feeling terrible all around and guilty for wanting to spend money on something so stupid while hating how every single thing i own looks on me, and then beating myself up for how petty and stupid it is to be sad about such vapid shit. but i just want clothes and maybe a pedicure. lol