Ron

VOTE FOR RYLAND GRACE

Why? (Aren’t you a GF fan too?)

That is Blorbo in the Blender of the year right there.

Ok look he’s conventionally attractive (Ryan gosling on a tumblr poll I know) but also he’s been put through the Horrors. We sedated him and put him on a spaceship actually. The fate of humanity lay in his unwilling hands actually. What do you mean after all this is done and dusted he’s going to have to just die.

2. Stanley already won last year’s poll

While I understand that winning once doesn’t automatically mean they should lose this year (I support my guy Stanley thats the sure I voted for and mode a side blog for his brother last year) I think we still do need to take into account.

im grasping you by the shoulders when I say this: while Stanley winning the poll twice in a row would be funny as hell, it would be even more funny if Ryan Gosling as the pathetic woke nerd who saved two worlds with his alien best friend and the power of science and friendship won this year’s poll

which leads me to my next point!

3. Grace is a multifaceted, representation king

He’s on the aroace spectrum. He’s queer for the rock. He’s queer for the rock and its rock mate. He’s got something really going on (romantic platonic something else it sure is SOMETHING) with the woman who put him in space in the first place. He’s gay for Markiplier. He’s gay for the guy who framed his (crossover) twin brother for murder. He’s demisexual. He’s bi. He’s trans. Both ways. ALL OF THESE INTERPRETATIONS ARE VALID AND HAVE AT LEAST A LITTLE BASIS

Look me in the eyes and tell me thats not the making of a Tumblr Sexyman of the Modern Age Right There

4. Bloodymary as a whole

Ok I made this point on Simon’s propaganda post but im mentioning it again because PHM has been trending for months straight, and a large portion of it is Bloodymary (Grace x Simon, Iron Lung’s MC) content!! As in, a crossover ship so popular people are comparing it to Tumblr’s rise of the brave tangled dragons era?

and everyone is posting their 4th of july manis

except this year its very few american flags and red white and blue and stars.

and a LOT of pond scum inspiration

but hear me out on simon. We can all see the glory and majesty of his massive titties and his slutty little harness, but he is SO MUCH MORE than just that. Not only is he the product of two indie projects that spited hollywood like an absolute fuckin champ, but he is covered in literally the most blood. 80 THOUSAND gallons of it. The most blood ever. It’s a timeless art for tumblr, loving a man covered in blood and whimpering, and by GOD is he doing both in triple fold.

secondly, he is so, so painfully tragic. His stars are dead. He’s got religious trauma from being raised in a cult. He’s a murderer who never wanted to hurt anyone. He begs and cries and apologizes to inanimate objects when he hits them. He just wanted to be free. He’s seen the horrors and they like him FAR too much. If it isnt an eldtritch god its monsters like you’ve never seen. he was lied to over and over and over about getting to be free. He just wanted to live. His last moments are spent raging against the dying light and cradling the last remains of hope for humanity, whispering “take care of this for me, okay mom?” As he’s deformed against his will. He was sent to die without so much as them knowing his name. He’s disabled. He’s terrified. He’s never known peace.

And now, him and ryland grace are reviving the dead arts of fandom, bringing back the classic art of crossover shipping, splicing clips to give simon a better ending, comic dubs, fan edits, 100k word fics, fan merch, bringing together two pieces of media just because people loved simon SO MUCH that they wanted to give him the chance to live that he deserved.

also, its not like his actor is at ALL a stranger to this platform. The man has a tumblr for god’s sake. He’s actively here. He’s been feeding this website for over a decade at this point. He’s the youtube heartthrob, just a sweetheart and kind man in general, who made this project with all the effort and heart he could expend and more.

who better a candidate for 2026’s tumblr sexyman, than a man soaked in blood, crying and mutated, played by a beloved youtuber who has been in the game for years, curling up in the arms of a dorky middle school teacher turned astronaut in his slutty little harness? Vote simon NOW.

just the ol' nine-to-five