i am deliberate and afraid of nothing

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

a reminder i only freak when froken to

I just learned about the existance of “pretend to work” spaces in China where you can pay to pretend to work at a realistic looking fake office so that you can take selfies to pretend that you have a job and get your family to stop asking why you’re unemployed. Which is like such a capitalism thing that I have no joke to make about it.

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

Catholic church doesnt even allow divorce if domestic violence is involved and vatican city wouldnt exist nowadays without the help of Benito fucking Mussolini and yet theres always some motherfucker being like i hope the next pope is pro gay marriage. I hope I get a house from Santa Claus this year. I hope a horse is going to buy me cheese in the grocery store

I think a really really funny idea to pop up in this recent anti-trans hysteria is the idea that someone needs consent to use a public restroom. like so many cis transmisogynists throw around "we don't consent to transgenders using our bathrooms" as if the act of a transgender woman pissing, literally in the privacy of a stall, is tantamount to a violation of someone's body. it's genuinely so beyond ridiculous it boggles the mind. i didn't consent to you pissing in a place where I can't even see you doing it.

1 beer in and i start telling people to surrender

My opps live in constant fear I'm gonna stare at them from across the street and disappear when a bus passes