u know what i change my mind

the workday/weekend ratio is so off. like ethically.

mary oliver said “you must not ever stop being whimsical” and i took that shit personally

it was never gonna work out but i experienced all these seemingly profound unreplicable moments that were romantic and moving and made me feel alive and still none of it actually means anything in the long run. but thats okay. sometimes a beautiful moment is just that. a moment. and you have to leave it alone and just be grateful that it happened. woooow

you have to stop hating yourself for not taking care of yourself before you can start taking care of yourself in a more sustainable way

it took me so long to accept this but you need self-compassion like the number one thing you need to take care of yourself is self compassion especially when you fail. self compassion is not going to hurt you or make you complacent or less motivated. You have to forgive yourself for not being there yet before you can get there and also you have to accept that getting angry at yourself when you inevitably fail or mess up is not a good method of self discipline it’s not going to work in a way that means anything and you are not going to get anywhere with it you have to find a different method of self discipline that isn’t anger or harsh self criticism it has to be a seriously much kinder method it can’t be based on punishing yourself for your mistakes it’s not going to do you any good you have to be sooooo nice and kind to yourself that you feel STUPID!!!!You have to. you have to submit to self-compassion its sooo scary but you have to let it speak to you it loves you so much and it wants everything that you want for yourself and it’s going to help you . Important Letters to my past self.com

i keep thinking about how it feels as if we have developed ourselves an obsession with "healing" these days – and a friend said something that really stuck in my head – "if you're part of a community where you're always trying to heal, then that means that you always need to be sick". like i think that we're all taking this ideal of healing too far saying that everybody needs therapy all the time and resetting your gut biome or surrounding yourself with positive energy or whatever it is that you can come up with. you're always focusing on something that is "wrong" and that needs to be eliminated, after which everything will be okay again. it all sounds like just another way of maintaining an illusion of control over your life and i don't think it's doing us any good

“To try to not be more interesting but be more interested” literally changed my life perspective btw

Whenever an ugly feeling arises in me, maybe resent, greed, insecurity, etc. I just have to laugh and think to myself, this is what being alive is and I don’t deny my capacity for ugliness, in fact I store my faith in it because that same awareness of my own ugliness is the place I go to when I am aware of my own beauty. I have all the time in the world to sort it out, that’s the thing with self trust. I don’t hide from others and I don’t hide from myself, where there is ugliness I observe it and I don’t turn away.

People who deny their own ugliness, turn away from it, find shame in it and then pretend that they aren’t ashamed are the ones with the deepest capacity for cruelty. Time to see yourself clearly and move forward anyways.

what's your fucking problem

I think it’s time I do everything I ever wanted

and i also think it’s time for someone to give me the funds to make it happen

why don’t we chill out about the symbols of identity and try achieving actual selfhood

Despair is easy, hope is hard. And brother, I like to stay hard