lov u 2

One way I put this into practice when I sub is to explicitly talk about how I handle it when people hurt me. (Honestly, this conversation has usually happened weeks before the sex, because I only really do kink that intense with people I already have mutual trust with.) My thoughts on this are way too detailed for a tumblr post, but the executive summary is that I'm extremely future-focused and take 'finite consequence for finite harm' very seriously.

I have had a (yes, trans woman) domme with whom I previously had that kind of conversation get carried away and cross a hard limit before. (I'm being deliberately nonspecific, but suffice to say it's a limit that's in 'extremely easy to exile someone over breaking' territory.)

We talked about it after the scene. She apologized (important) and then was very invested in hearing how I felt and meeting my needs (even more important.) I chose not to red during the scene, which is absolutely my choice to make either way as the person having an expressed limit broken. But I also admitted to how that choice not to red increased her risk of being unable to make amends - e.g. if I had completely dissociated as a result, it could have left very deep wounds.

She took responsibility for hurting me, and I admitted that while I did nothing ethically wrong, my freeze response did make things worse. This process was very obviously painful for her; she was clearly scared. Enduring that heavy discomfort without avoiding her responsibility was, itself, a consequence for her actions.

I told her explicitly that I was satisfied with her apology and amends, and would make no further fuss about it, and I meant that. I did not pretend I was unable to do immense retributive harm to her, as that would be a complete lie. I acknowledged that capability, then said "I promise not to use that tool over this incident, because we're square." The fact that she has to trust me to keep that promise is, again, a pretty significant consequence for her actions; I'm pretty committed to keeping it, but she doesn't live in my brain, she can't know that for sure.

Yes, he did post about to gifting them to Barry Keoghan, the actor portraying him in the upcoming films, as a good luck charm for his role. However, the photo he posted was of him handing Keoghan a small leather sack, while elf stones famously erode all kinds of skin. Additionally, Ringo is on the record (I think? I swear I read this but I can't find the interview. Please reach out if you know what I'm talking about) that he keeps the stones away from cameras to prevent power-dampening effects.

It's likely that what he gave was a pouch of prop elf stones as a show of good faith, which could also be related to the old legend that a false elf stone will become real in a moment of need. Some people when presented with this evidence claim that while the photo was staged, the real stones were handed over in private, but this seems far fetched to me, especially since it's widely accepted that Ringo bound himself to the stones for nine and ninety years when he acquired them.