i don't actually use tinder

britcore

GRRRRRRRR I don't WANT to confirm my email address! I HATE confirming my email address! *rips the door off my fridge*

Animal Crossing villagers will say shit like “Hey, how much water do you think is underneath your fridge from all the ice cubes kicked under? My guess is AT LEAST half a 7-11 Big Gulp! Hey! Call me over on a hot day and I could get a straw and sip it up!”

since this guy at my work’s gf broke up with him he’s been using laundry detergent for his dishes instead of just his clothes and is always complaining of stomach aches and shit. i keep telling him to maybe use just regular dish soap but he swears his recent issues are unrelated to his equally recent bad soap decisions.

Bringing this back because turns out i was right and he was damaging his stomach lining 😔

He got a new gf and something happened where she had some kind of reaction after eating at his house and it all culminated in them finding out he was basically poisoning himself because not only was he not diluting it but i guess that stuff doesn’t wash well out of plastic which is what the containers he uses to save/microwave leftovers in are made of

his roommate is a man who “doesn’t believe” in salmonella so basically the situation is all bad

all i do is play video games incorrectly 

Me when I see a police dog: class traitor

Crabs deserve voting rights too I think

how will they tap the screen with claws

You're so ignorant it's not even funny