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remade a while ago, @bluejeandill these days if anyone is still out there. i am largely the same but more self assured and stronger. still mainly vegetable posting you know how it is

my 2 beautiful daughters hypergraphia and echolalia

bar for ants called The Crumb

I’m still awake because I haven’t brushed my hair in 2 days and I MUST do that before I sleep on it again. dread and anguish for 1000 years. I was thinking I’d keep her long until 30 but idk if I can make it another year even. I am like five feelings away from the clippers.

I don’t think anything that happened in 2011 counts.

society if I had had like 5 weeks of decent behavioral therapy for dermotillomania when I was 13

Will is in engineering school and still sober and so smart and so funny and so beautiful. He wants to move to the desert and I hope he gets to. I hope he moves to a different planet. I hope he wakes up tomorrow and he’s 19 years old and his body is perfect with little rays of golden light shining from under his fingernails and he moves to Arizona and never talks to any of us again

I’m learning to sew as well. I’m doing a lot better at my job also

My fear of driving is almost completely gone tho and i’m learning really fast and excited about just like driving myself around places. Very into being alone lately and my dependence on catching rides makes it hard to be as alone as I’d prefer to be.

One thing I will say : when I was almost in a plane crash in may 2022 I’m pretty convinced the plane did crash and I entered , optimistically, another reality where the plane did not crash, or, more realistically, a weird sad entropic afterlife populated by sort of phantom automatons mimicking the relationships I had in life. I have felt a pervasive, and again, sad, sense of unreality ever since