this has probably been done before but i had to get it out of my system
Claire Keane
trying on a metaphor

titsay
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
RMH

pixel skylines
Sade Olutola
noise dept.

Product Placement

izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle
will byers stan first human second
Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin

todays bird

if i look back, i am lost

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Italy
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
@goosesister
this has probably been done before but i had to get it out of my system

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
CW: suicide and joking to cope around it
Tim: I’m not that concerning, am I? What’s the most you’ve ever been convened about me? Honestly.
Kon: I actually know exactly when and the funny part is you weren’t even there.
Tim: oh?
Kon: I’m gonna say it, but I want you to know that we’ll find it hilarious and nobody else will.
Tim: hit me.
Kon: I had a dream- omg wait, I’m laughing already- I had a dream you killed yourself and I just wasn’t surprised-
Tim: *horrific wheezing sound*
Kon, struggling to breath form laughing despite being able to hold his breath for hours: I know that sounds so bad-
Tim, also dying form laughing: that’s horrible omg!
Kon: that’s not even the funniest part! I was on the phone with Alfred cause he was telling me and he was like ‘Tim took his laugh last night’ and I said ‘didn’t he do that last year’.
Tim, actually flaying around from laughing and slapping things around him: HAHAHAHAH
Kon: Right?!
The entirety of the Justice League: …
Kon and Tim, completely forgetting about the intervention meeting, still laughing their asses off:
Batman: …
Bruce falls in love easily.
He jumps headfirst into romantic relationships often, and is quick to return the moment someone he previously dated implied they might be interested in a rerun. He meets a pretty lady that is fully capable of kicking his ass and suddenly his heart beats for her. Just as easily, he will fall for the next man that he finds his empathy reaching a little too far for.
It’s even easier with kids. He holds a baby, waiting for the baby’s parents to return from being checked over by medics, and he’s imagining them growing up, decorating their nursery in his mind, picking out colleges that’ll more suit different interests - if the baby wants to be a lawyer, then this school would be better; if a little artist in the making, then this other school is the best of the best. And it all goes through his head in the ten minutes that the parents are held up for. He saves a toddler from a burning building, and sees himself taking the kid for walks and building Legos with them. He finds a teenager in trouble, and he’s already imagining helping them with their homework.
Usually, it doesn’t go anywhere. He brings the kid somewhere safe, usually reuniting them with their parents, and then mopes about the loss of that potential future for a few days before it leaves his mind again.
But sometimes, sometimes, a child sticks in his mind. Dick was the first of those children, quickly brought into his custody but not quick enough.
Next was Tim, a bright little child that Bruce noticed before he’d ever adopted Jason. Tim was the first child Bruce had to learn restraint for, telling himself that he couldn’t monitor this little kid who looked at Bruce like he hung the stars in the sky. Still, he couldn’t help but to keep an eye on the little Drake during galas and gatherings. Tim was Bruce’s son before he was ever Robin, no matter what Bruce had said and done in his grief.
Jason was very quickly adopted, Bruce hadn’t even needed to use his hard won restraint for that one. The moment he’d seen those defiant blue eyes glaring at him in the darkness, he’d emotionally adopted the boy. Mentally adopted him shortly after, with the adoption papers filled out and turned in quickly after.
The only child Bruce would find himself counting when doing roll call only to be disappointed had barely been in Bruce’s presence for five minutes. The little boy Bruce found himself thinking often of, wondering how he was growing up, whether he was going to see the stars as an adult like he’d claimed, hoping Bruce might even see the little boy applying for Wayne Enterprise’s Aerospace division. Danny Fenton was a child that crossed Bruce’s mind often despite not being, on paper or by blood, Bruce’s child.
But to Bruce’s heart and mind? Danny should’ve grown up with him.
“Daddy!” Bruce looked down as a small weight hit his leg, stunned to see a small child there. “Look! Shtarsh!” A small lisp, as the child turned a gap-toothed grin up at Bruce. Bruce followed the little boy’s pointing finger, noting that there was indeed a display of stars, the infographics claiming a better way to fuel rockets was such-and-such method over the common-
Wait, had this child called him-?
“It sure is, bud,” Bruce agreed, kneeling down to be closer to even height with this… four-year-old? “But what are you doing over here by yourself?”
“Mommy d’ere,” the little boy pointed towards a woman in a teal… hazmat suit(?), focused intently on the display in front of her. In her hands was a leash that led down to an abandoned backpack.
Bruce’s face twitched at the fact that she hadn’t even noticed, and he didn’t know how long the child had been free of the backpack. Long enough for it to look like it’d been dragged from a different exhibit.
Bruce looked back at the little escape artist, “May I pick you up, chum?” The little boy’s eyes brightened, excited.
“Rocket!” He bounced a little on his toes, hands held up excitedly.
Bruce was disappointed, himself, that he had no clue what this boy was asking for, “Not right now, but maybe later.” Bruce was quick to tack on the last part as the boy deflated. Propping the little boy on his hip, he made his way over to ‘mommy.’ “Excuse me, ma’am- ma’am?” It took several calls, and even waving his hand in her eyesight, to get the woman’s attention - and Bruce’s displeasure with the woman steadily increased the longer it took. “You appear to have misplaced a budding astronaut.”
She barely even glanced at the little boy before negating his statement, “no I didn’t, he’s right-“ finally, she noticed the childless backpack, her head snapping back to Bruce, “Daniel James Fenton! I told you to stop taking your backpack off!”
“But- but shtarsh, mommy!” The little boy indignantly argued back with the woman, and Bruce had to quickly school his face to not smile at Daniel’s attitude.
“That doesn’t mean you can wander off, Danny,” the woman huffed, before reaching out to steal- retrieve her son from Bruce. “Thank you, sir.”
Throughout the rest of the convention, Bruce caught glimpses of the bright-eyed little boy with his mother and father, who was a man that Bruce could feasibly understand the young child confusing Bruce for… if he weren’t wearing an eye-piercing orange hazmat suit, and Bruce a tailored three-piece.
When it became clear that Bruce’s attachment to the little boy didn’t fade with time and distance the way it normally did, he allowed himself just one day in a year where he would indulge, letting himself use the resources available to him to check on the little boy. Last Bruce had seen, little Danny, who had just turned 14, - only a couple years older than Damian now that he thinks about it - was doing well in school and was on his way to becoming an astronaut.
So why…?
Why was his little boy standing before Batman in dirty, ripped up, bloody clothes and an unnatural green light in his otherwise dull eyes?
“Batman, I need help.”
There’s someone living in the attic of Wayne manor and Tim is the only person to realize it.
He’s tried to tell the others but they all think he’s just sleep deprived when he brings it up.
It’s not paranoia it he’s right!!
Danny meanwhile is having fun messing with Tim.
He’s bored! Nothing to do most days other than sneaking books and food upstairs.
Besides, it’s funny to watch the Waynes accidentally gaslight their family member.
It all culminates to:
*Tim bopping and humming along to “come and get your love*: doo do do doo do bub bub bub buh- Hey~!
Danny above him: hey~!
The rest of the family:WHAt-
Batman: You let Phantom train the sidekicks?
Black Canary: Yeah, I mean hes an adult, but he's closer in age to them, I figured he would be better at understanding them.
Flash: I mean he is childish, but maybe they'll finally listen to someone.
*opens the training room door*
Phantom, snarling: Is that seriously all you've got? Pathetic! Get back up and try again! Saving the day waits for no "hero"!
*Young Justice scattered across the room, all panting heavily, or cradling bruises as they're each paired up with a Phantom duplicate*
Superman, gobsmacked: Phantom what are you doing?!
Flash: Yeah man this looks a little harsh don't you think?
Phantom: They want to be treated like adults, Flash, so I'm treating them like adults. If they want to be treated like adults, then they can train like adults, work like adult, eat like adults, balance their hero work and their civilian work like adults. I said no slacking! Get back up!
Superman, wincing: Still...
Flash: Dude, what did they say to you to piss you off this much? *tries to joke* I need to know so I don't do the same. Seriously, you're scary.
Phantom: *scowls*
Kid Flash, panting: Pl-Please! Can we take a brake? I need some water.
Phantom: 10 minutes. *all his duplicates vanish and Phantom turns and floats out*
*water bottles appear out of nowhere, and all the sidekicks collapse, desperately chugging the water bottles*
Flash: No, seriously, what did you say to him? I've never seen him that upset before.
Artemis, clutching her ribs: K-Kid Flash s-said he didn't get why-why we couldn't be treated as adults and-and do our own work. R-Rob in Said-Said that Phantom was-ss lucky, cause he didn't have a mentor and took-took care of his territory on his own without help. Said-Said it couldn't be that hard since Phantom did it.
Adult Heros -Batman: *winces*
Superman: No wonder Phantom was so upset.
Green Arrow: Yeah, I'd be pissed too if my years of hard work was chalked up to "not that hard".
Flash: *turns and follows after Phantom*
Batman: Hmn.
Robin: *flinches*
Batman: It looks like Phantom still went easy on you. You should thank him for that.
Kid Flash: That was easy?!
Batman: You're still alive aren't you?
Superman: And by the looks of it, he was only brawling, I don't smell the scent of his Ecto-Blasts.
Black Canary: And he gave you water.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The kids get different results if they ask Steve for help vs asking Jonathan.
Jonathan is the son of a working single mother and often stepped in to help take care of his little brother. Between Lonnie's abuse and being parentified at a young age, he never really got to be a child. So when one of the kids asks him for help with something, he will do it for them.
Steve is the only son of absentee parents and was expected to take care of himself from a young age. He was left to figure everything out on his own or deal with the consequences if he couldn't. So when one of the kids asks him for help, he teaches them how to do it themselves.
Will, who sometimes feels smothered and babied by his family, likes asking Steve for help. Dustin, who has no interest learning skills he thinks are unimportant, loves asking Jonathan.
This is unintentionally creating drama.
@precioussteveharrington love your tags and completely agree. I always HC Steve as dyslexic so I think when he does read, it's with intention. There's something he needs to know and he knows books have answers because he's watched his dad read case law to win court cases.
I am now picturing a librarian watch a small child sneak out the door (like a ninja - ie darting behind the return cart and doing random kicks) with a book shoved up his shirt.
Technically, that's stealing but Steve always brings the book back around the time it would be due so she lets it slide...for now.
Eventually, she's going to stop him and get him signed up for a library card.
please vote for tylenol to have her face on a beer can $1 for 1 vote and the donation goes to the baltimore animal rescue and care shelter
TYLENOL HAS MADE IT INTO THE TOP TEN LETS FUCKING GO
VOTE NOW SO WE CAN SEE TYLENOL'S FACE ON BEER CANS IN THE DITCHES BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!
If you all will allow me a moment to analyze the competition as it exists, there's something interesting going on with the numbers.
As we all know, thanks to the support of the good people of Tumblr, Tylenol has experienced a meteoric rise to second place. Even though her competition is stiff, I believe in Tylenol's ability to go the distance.
But let's take a look at the competition:
Elmer seems to be a lovely boy. I have no qualms with Elmer, and think he would look fantastic on a beer can. But what about Elmer's campaigns? Who is the power behind the throne here, and how have they managed to find such breakout success on this competition?
A handful of wealthy donors are trying to buy this competition.
At the end of the day, all donations are good donations here. This is a charity event so every penny earned is going to help animals in need. But it's not lost on me that Elmer's current ranking is thanks entirely to a few individuals with the financial means to put their thumbs on the scale.
Tylenol's donors, comparatively, are small and numerous, mostly $1-10 donations from many passionate believers in what she stands for (autism and pain relief I think).
Overall, the donations tell a very different story than what the base ranking shows you. Elmer is held aloft by just 24 donors and bolstered by a few wealthy patrons, whereas Tylenol has won the hearts of literally hundreds of people. Even the current third place, Abby, owes her ranking to numerous small contributions rather than one or two large ones.
Tylenol is the people's princess.
Tylenol is the people's princess
sorry i was researching the author of a victorian book about raising children and now i'm fascinated by her. clear my schedule we're talking about lydia maria child.
"show a baby nice things" got it
wuh. hbuh.
Child was an absolutely fascinating woman. An abolitionist and women's rights advocate, she was also critical of organized religion despite being nominally Christian as many of her time and place were. She published a novel that was scandalous for centering around an interracial marriage between a white woman and a Native man, became well known for a series of household guides specifically at poor women, had a fairly egalitarian marriage with her husband David, and also wrote the poem "over the river and through the woods" about her grandparents' house in Medford, Massachusetts
It's not just "show the baby nice things," although that's part of it! It's also:
Find the baby nice things to look at without overstimulating the baby
Don't try to control how long or in what way the baby interacts with the nice thing. Let the baby control the experience
Pay attention to the baby's cues. When the baby is bored of the thing, you will know it, they are not subtle
Your baby is learning as they do this. Remember they are very new and very small and have experienced practically nothing, so "ball remains round even if you turn it over" is a whole new bit of information to them, and your job is to step back and let the baby process these important new bits of information themself, rather than flooding them with data they don't know what to do with.
And the second one includes those ideas, and also:
Make sure your baby knows that you are a loving and friendly presence that they can rely on to be there, it is not just the loving thing to do, it is also healthy for child development
This is, in fact, not half bad when it comes to child development theory. Given the amount of child-rearing advice that boils down to, "Speak roughly to your little boy/And beat him when he sneezes!/He only does it to annoy/Because he knows it teases!" this is quite progressive and a welcome relief. (Okay, so that poem is a parody, however I feel that the sentiment it was mocking was and unfortunately is not rare.)
Sam: This is boring
Tucker: I know. When they said we were getting a field trip in Gotham, I thought it would be a lot more exciting. Especially when they listed Wayne Enterprises as one of the tours.
Danny: Axion Labs had a better tour. All we've seen are hallways and closed doors
Sam: Don't forget the Wayne water fountain that was part of the original town hall of Gotham, before it burned to the ground and the fountain was bought out by the Waynes.
Danny: It was a fascinating twelve-minute wait for the small gush of water.
Tucker: Whats the tour guy saying now?
Danny: Don't know. Don't care.
Sam: Ugh, we should play a game. Make the time move faster.
Tucker: Sure, want to play Would You Rather?
Danny: We played that on the bus. How about Have You Ever?
Sam: We don't have anything to drink. Let's do Hot Seat.
Danny: Sure.
Tucker: Go head
Sam: Right, Danny, you're first. If you could sleep with any of the heroes in Gotham who would-
Danny: Red Hood.
Tucker: Good taste. Bouncing off of what Sam said, if you could sleep with any of the Waynes who-
Danny: Jason Todd.
Sam: You seem overly eager to answer these questions.
Danny: Is that a problem?
Jason: No I find it interesting
Danny letting out the highest pitch scream a man of 25 has ever made: !!!!!!
Jason: impressive set of pipes.
Sam whispering to Tucker: Is it just me, or does Danny have a shot?
Tucker whispering back: I think he does. They were about Gotham. Anything can happen here.
One thing I've been thinking about recently is that the Metros were holding Shane back. The Admirals holding Hunter back makes sense, in an oh shit he's going to kill this kid way. But the Metros holding Shane back? Shane who never fights? Shane who is a known peacemaker? Maybe the argument can be made they wanted to protect him from getting hurt/getting fined but, Shane is their captain, if he wants to fight, a fight there shall be.
Unless.
You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.
The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.
So when they see Shane, after the whistle, drop his gloves to Scott Hunter, there is a collective thought of oh shit he's going to kill Hunter and they have approximately 1.5 seconds to grab their captain and prevent him from getting arrested.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Dustin: Steve, quick. What's the easiest way to bully someone?
Steve: How would I know?
Dustin: You were - Mike, hold on. Steve, you were a bully.
Steve: I wasn't a bully. I was like, just an asshole. I never beat anyone up, other than Jonathan and-
Dustin: That's debatable.
Max: You're not asking the right question. Steve, quickest way to ruin someone self-esteem.
Steve: Oh. Group booing.
Max: Everyone boo Mike
Max: Boooo
Dustin: Booooo
The party: Boooooo
Clark: Guys, this is extremely dangerous
Clark: Especially you since, y’know, you’re all fleshy and have no powers-
Bruce: You’re sounding like 300 pounds of pure bitch right now, Clark
Diana: Yes, Kal, live a little, please
Clark: Both of you are a danger to yourselves
Diana, offended: I think we bring out the best in each other
Diana: Now, are you going to start the heavy-duty artillery so we can test our dodging capabilities or what?
Clark: No-
Bruce, basically whining: Oh my goshhhhh
Bruce: If I knew you’d be like this, I would’ve invited literally anyone else
Clark, stressed: Anyone else would've put a stop to this already
Diana: I think I’m fast enough to turn it on and get into position on time
Bruce: Should we try?
Clark: Please, no
Diana: I’m gonna try
Bruce: If it doesn’t work, I can throw a batarang at the on switch, probably
Bruce: Let's just hope we don't blow up, I guess...
Clark, annoyed: Holy shit, fine!
Clark: I’ll do it
Clark: Get into position, assholes
Diana & Bruce, shit-eating grins clear as day on their faces: Yay, thank you, Clark!
Clark: But I’m telling Ma you did this
Bruce: Booo!
Diana: Don’t be mean!
I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.
So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.
Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.
She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.
About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.
"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."
A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."
"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.
She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"
"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"
"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."
And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.
Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.
Cliff: I will live bicuriously through you and Roz.
Shane: You mean 'vicariously'?
Cliff: I said what I said.
kllsym on ig

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
#myshane was a late talker. Like really late, like almost 5 years old and never spoke once late. Yuna and David were a bit worried about it but it’s not like he didn’t communicate at all, just not with spoken words. He could clearly understand what was going on around him, he nodded or shook his head when he needed to, he pointed at things he wanted or needed, he could already read pretty reliably, he just. Didn’t talk. They made a concerted effort to speak to him like a person, not just baby talk, and in both English and French, in the hopes that he’d understand both languages better, even if he wouldn’t or couldn’t speak them.
They were starting to get concerned about how he’d do when he started kindergarten in the fall, there had been a few late night conversations about if they should find a speech therapist if he was still non-speaking by the time he started school, but one day after they’re driving home from a Centaurs game, Shane suddenly pipes up from his carseat in the back,
“Mama, Daddy, I wanna be a hockey player when I grow up.”
It’s so unexpected that David slams on the brakes and Yuna spills the remains of her ginger ale on her lap. They both whip their heads around to look at the small boy happily kicking his feet in the backseat wearing the jersey that looks more like a tent on him (he’ll go through a growth spurt in a month or two and it’ll fit just fine) who has no idea he just did anything special.
Turns out, he was just waiting until he was sure of his language abilities and found the right thing to say. After that, he happily chatted away in perfect English and perfect French, pointing out cool rocks or asking about interesting things he sees when he runs errands with his parents, or (to Yuna and David’s both horror and delight) chirping players when they watch hockey together, pointing out their weaknesses and mistakes and just generally talking shit, even at 5 years old.
After playing in LA, Rose takes the Cens out to party. The rookies are besides themselves, Wyatt geeks out so hard that he gets to meet more actors who play superheroes, Luca gets hit on by three different models and takes at least one of them up on it, and Ilya let's out his inner club rat and is just enjoying being in a good club. Shane goes along to spend time with Rose and make sure no one pukes in front of a camera again (looking at you, Holmberg!). Ilya, Shane and Rose end up leaving together. They’re all a little tipsy—the club had good Russian vodka, so Ilya had a lot and Rose joined him to “bond” and Shane indulged in a few beers which he still doesn’t do a lot during the season even though he’s more relaxed about his diet now, so they’re all not entirely sober. Outside of the club, they’re a little loud which draws enough attention that people recognize them—well, let’s be real, they mostly recognize Rose although someone says “isn’t that the gay baseball player from that Calvin Klein ad?” when they see Shane—and several people start filming. Which is of course when Rose’s heel breaks and she lands ass over teakettle on the sidewalk.
Shane and Ilya are immediately concerned and Rose tries to wave them off, “my heel just broke, guys,” and Shane says, “you broke your foot?” and Rose laughs and says “no, my heel” and waves her broken shoe around, the red sole glinting in the light. “Why are you wearing fucking low quality shoes?” Shane asks, honestly confused, and Rose gasps, “Shane, they’re Louboutins!” And Shane very seriously says, “well, then Louboutins are fucking bad quality,” which has Ilya cackling because he definitely knows Louboutins, probably even owns a pair, and knows that they’re not low quality at all. But now there’s a video out there of Shane Hollander calling Louboutins low quality and that’s going to be a fun time on the internet. Then Shane helps Rose up and she wrinkles her nose and says, “ugh I hate walking barefoot in downtown LA,” and Ilya says, “don’t be ridiculous, we carry you,” and Rose is all, “oh piggy back ride,” and Shane says, scandalized, “you’re wearing like a miniskirt, everyone will see your ass if you do that,” and scoops her up bridal style. And then he carries her down two blocks to the sushi restaurant they chose for a late night snack and the video of that goes even more viral than Shane’s Louboutin critique.