Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

I am chronically online but not in a way that keeps me informed #mybubble

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

World Heritage Post

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

unrestrained summer fun

they should legalize polyamory. everywhere. and im not kidding at all. if someone wants to marry multiple people they should be allowed to. for any reason.

before anybody tries to say some bullshit about this, extending the definition of marriage to include multiple people would give members of religions forced into abusive polygamy the same rights any divorcing spouse would have without putting them at risk for being charged with bigamy. this would make it easier for people to leave abusive plural marriages.

Unofficial Autism Post

My grandma’s on and off again boyfriend that she cheated on grandpa with died today.

RIP to Nana’s side piece. Though they never married, Grandpa died in September and she brought his long term competition to Thanksgiving that year.

Grandma and Grandpa had a shotgun wedding when Grandma was 19. Grandpa went off to Vietnam which left her, a severely mentally young mother, alone. Never heard a complaint about her side piece Jeff. He seemed to make her happy and for that I salute him.

My grandmother broke up w my grandfather through a letter and he just pretended to have never read it. They got married and had three kids.

slow and slutty wins the race