•Stickes•

I am making the headcanon decision that he grew up religious, partially for more gay family angst, and partially because later, when he isn’t religious anymore, he still has that thought pattern, the tendency to worship something. Someone will come along and tell him what to do, and he will love them for it.

This song though is all just internalized homophobia. I think Jacobi didn’t properly come out until he’d been away from home for a little while, and also probably realized he was gay a little later than he could’ve if he wasn’t repressing it. I don’t think his dad was homophobic TOWARDS him, just sort of homophobic in general in a way that meant he crushed those thoughts down when they started to pop up

3. God in Jeans by Ryan Beatty

Building off that last one, I think this is a good song for being gay and ex religious. And the beginnings of that idea I mentioned where you replace the spot that God used to fill in your life with a lover

"My love is my religion Preaching the choir Fueling the fire Oh my God, you know I need ya If I'm going to hell, I'm taking you with me I'm taking you with me"

4. Coming Clean by Green Day

I feel like my thought process is clear here, the pattern is taking shape. I do think he was older than 17 when he actually came out, and this is mostly about that, but it's also on here for when he was a bit younger and tried to join the airforce out of spite. A bit of a feeling here of realizing he will never ever be the person his dad wants him to be. I really like the line "found out what it takes to be a man" here.

5. South by Hippo Campus

this song never fails to make me emotional. Really I could've put it anywhere on this playlist if only for the line "I walk the same way my father told me, back straight and chest out just like a soldier", but this seemed like an appropriate place. Setting out and leaving home

6. Moderation by Florence and the Machine

We are still in headcanon zone here, but I think that Jacobi had a lot of short lived relationships that mostly ended because he got attached very quickly and was very intense, especially early on when he was still figuring himself out. So over time he developed a very nonchalant "I don't give a shit" attitude over top of his intense affections to try to tone it back, but it doesn't really work does it?

"Can't hold it back, I can't take the tension Oh, I'm trying to be good Want me to love you in moderation Well don't you know, I wish I could"

7. Play with Fire by Sam Tinnesz

Lot's of general vibes here, again I probably could've put this one anywhere, but I decided to put it here for a couple of reasons. First of all, I didn't want to put all of this type of song later because I think he was Like That before he joined the SI-5. Secondly, there's a bit of a sense of dread in this one that makes it good for when he is working for the air force right before the accident

8. Daniel, You're Still a Child by Declan McKenna

I love it when a song fits and also has a character's name in it. There's a lot of specifics in this song that I don't think necessarily fit, but the vibe of having made a huge mistake and disappointing your family is there. I think after the accident he probably just didn't go home because he didn't want to face them and tell them what had happened. He's very sensitive to feeling like a failure.

"Well Daniel, don't worry, you won't be missed You'll spend ten years in prison to pay for this Ah, is it all worthwhile? Daniel, you're still a child"

9. Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother

This song and the next are heavy on the vibe of "I break everything I touch no matter what I do". Think of these in the lead up to the mindset he's in in Things That Break Other Things. There is also the vibe of "If I'm always going to break things, I may as well do it on purpose". (Christ, how to get a character to go from broken up about the accidental deaths of two people to bombing hospitals)

"I made a wreck out of my hand I put it through the wall I made a fist and not a plan Call me a reckless wrecking ball"

10. Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier

Serves much the same purpose as the previous song, but more depressing this time. It's not something he can get rid of or turn off. He's got this talent. It's how he is. If only he could find a better use for it.

"When I was 16, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew the scent was mine alone

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash"

11. Go to Sleep by the Avett Brothers

Not to linger so much in this depressing era, but this song and the next are for the mood on the anniversary. For trying your best to forget and failing. (Bolded my favorite lyrics for him here)

"Well I wish things were different, true, and deep But everything that's so shallow is everything about me You know they told me I could just take my money and leave I hope the people on the ground will understand I hope the people in the crowd will understand

Lay back, lay back, go to sleep my man Wipe the blood from you face and your hands Forgive yourself if you think that you can Go to sleep, go to sleep my man"

12. Clean Slate by The Mountain Goats

Same vibes as the last. Trying to escape it all. Highlight on this line:

"Remember at your peril, forget the ones you can

And then just when you think you've learned how to forget You learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet"

13. Brother My Cup is Empty by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

We have reached Things That Break Other Things. This is the song that inspired me to make the playlist in the first place. I was listening to it and the vision was just so clear

"Brother, buy me one more drink I'll explain the nature of my pain Yes, let me tell you once again I am the captain of my pain

Brother, my cup is empty And I haven't got a penny For to buy no more whiskey I have to go home"

14. Hey, Little Songbird from Hadestown

The recruitment. This song is on my Kepler playlist for the same moment as well. I tried not to have there be too much overlap between playlists, but if there's going to be any connection it's going to be here. The song is even conveniently a duet. And I'm pretty proud of it as a pull

"Strange is the call of this strange man I wanna fly down and feed at his hand I want a nice soft place to land"

15. Fire by Barnes Courtney

Joining SI-5. I really like the selling your soul metaphor for working at Goddard, and I use it a few times on my Kepler playlist as well

"Sold my soul to the calling Sold my soul to a sweet melody Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

Oh give me that fire Oh give me that fire Oh give me that fire Burn, burn, burn"

16. Search and Destroy by the Stooges

This is one that I think is very fitting overall and could be anywhere, so I thought I would just pepper it into his early Goddard years. He's getting in the groove of things.

17. Yes Sir, No Sir, by The Kinks

The beginning of the Kepler section of the playlist. This song is about the military but it's so horny and for what. I didn't want to jump right into him being obsessed, I wanted to show a bit of a build, so the first song in this section is still conceivably not romantically coded.

18. Wrapped Around Your Finger by the Police

This song is still conceivably not romantic but we are definitely ramping up to be more personal. This doesn't really work that well for this placement in the playlist, but another reason I really like the song for kepcobi in general is because of the role reversal at the end. So think of it as foreshadowing.

"Devil and the deep blue sea behind me Vanish in the air, you'll never find me I will turn your face to alabaster Then you'll find your servant is your master

You'll be wrapped around my finger"

19. Polaroid by Imagine Dragons

Here is where we make it romantic. Jacobi feels himself catching real feelings, but (as I mentioned headcanoning before) he's had a lot of failed relationships in the past. This song has a big "oh god here we go again" vibe. He knows it's a bad idea.

"All my life I've been living in the fast lane Can't slow down I'm a rollin' freight train One more time Gotta start all over Can't slow down I'm a lone red rover"

AND a special mention to the two lines in this song that mention a "you". Both of them fit pretty well for Kepler I think:

" you are the pay raise Always a touch out of view"

" you are the opera Always on time and in tune"

20. Step into My Office, Baby

Just the most classic "sleeping with my boss" song, and too funny not to include. I do not actually think this is how their relationship started (you can find more details on my thoughts about that on my Kepler playlist writeup), but this is enough indication for this playlist that it has in fact Started.

21. Cherubim by serpentwithfeet

Remember the thing I said earlier about being ex-religious leaving an empty space where worship used to be? Yeah. That. Also, service top Jacobi rights

22. Tear in Space (Airlock) by Glass Animals

So now they're together, and Jacobi is smart enough to know the dynamic is Not Good but doesn't care enough to end it. The vibes here are of pining for a deeper emotional connection while already sleeping together. This is a vibe I like a lot and a lot of songs on my kepcobi playlist are dedicated to it. And if you (hypothetical reader who is not the sender of this ask, because the sender of this ask is the author of this fic lollll) like that dynamic too, you should check out this fic series. Bonus points for this song having space references

"Sit in my blood, maybe too much Never enough I'm your dog, I'm on your floor All that you want But I like ya, like ya like you're (drugs)

You get all worked up Loving you, but it's not enough Loving you from the airlock of Your heart"

23. Catharsis by AlicebanD

There's some jealousy parts of this song that I don't think fit but aside from those, there's so many parts of this song that I could pick out that I think are just perfect for Jacobi @ Kepler. Here's a few:

"Like a dream, you fill me up And make me cold, just like a soldier Trains her mind to do the killing Even though he isn't willing"

"I want reciprocal lovers I want trust, and I want safety I want space, and I need chasing I want to feel that I'm the only girl Around you who can know you"

"Like a chain around an object that keeps moving You're a concept of a man and of an object"

24. Barbed Wire Love by Stiff Little Fingers

A song about a toxic romance that has bomb metaphors in it. This one isn't that deep but it had to be in here. It's also a bop

25. Dirty Work by AKLO

This song is mostly here for the title and also the vibes, but placed here to transition out of the Kepler section and back into general SI-5 stuff

26. Family by Mother Mother

This song is mainly here for Maxwell, but could apply to the whole team, as well as being about how I think Jacobi is very intense and very loyal in general and has a very strong sense of who His People are. I really wanted more Maxwell songs on here, but there's not nearly enough platonic love songs in the world. And the ones that I could find were way to cutesy in vibe and not intense enough.

"They might be crazy, but they is my family You can't get to them unless you get through me You fuck with them you fuck with me"

27. Raise Hell by Dorothy

This is in the same genre of destructive loose cannon songs as Search and Destroy and Play with Fire, but this one is a bit more fun. He LIKES working at the SI-5 a lot, especially when Maxwell is there. He likes to not take things too seriously.

28. Planetary (GO!) by My Chemical Romance

Yet another song like the last one, but in SPACE this time. We have hit the beginning of his appearance in cannon

29. Afraid by The Neighborhood

This one is very specific, and it's for Jacobi worrying about whether or not he's the alien clone or not

"When I wake up, I'm afraid Somebody else might take my place When I wake up, I'm afraid Somebody else might end up being me "

30. One More Light by Linkin Park

Maxwell's death. I still have yet to find a better song about grief than this.

"The reminders pull the floor from your feet In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there"

31. Us and Them by Pink Floyd

After Maxwell's death, reckoning with his place in the hierarchy, starting to shift Kepler out of the "Us" category and into the "Them" category

32. The Handler by Muse

Kepcobi divorce era. Dirty work.

"I won't let you control my feelings anymore And I will no longer do as I am told And I am no longer afraid to walk alone Let me go Let me be I'm escaping from your grip You will never own me again"

33. In Search of by Miike Snow

Unfortunately he doesn't have time to think about or process all that once Cutter comes aboard. I like the sort of quiet intensity of this song for the endgame finale of it all. And also I think near the end he sort of starts thinking about how he can make up for it all, for knowingly being a terrible person, and helping defeat Cutter and Pryce is the first step in that

"Father put his foot down on my games Forever So in the marketplace I stay calm And clever

And we won't back down from anything In search of a remedy"

34. Mars by Sleeping At Last

The long trip back to earth. A long time to think and a lot to unpack.

""Lay your weapons down They're calling off the war On account of losing track Of what we're fighting for"

So we found our way back home Let our cuts and bruises heal While a brand-new war began One that no one else could feel"

35. Nobody Loves You Like Me by Jonathan Coulton

Home now. More grief. Having to grieve Maxwell while alone. I wish I could give him a happy ending in this one but I don't. My Kepler playlist is an au where Kepler lives, but that's not the case for this one

36. Kill All Your Friends by My Chemical Romance

Ironically, while the previous song reads more romantic and this one more platonic, I imagine the last one to be more about Maxwell and this one to be more about Kepler, but both of them are sort of here for both of them.

37. Fireworks by Mitski

What can I even say...

"One morning this sadness will fossilize And I will forget how to cry I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye

...