Oct 10, 2025
Finally finished this!!! Shout out to wolf359 for being one of my favourite things ever
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Finally finished this!!! Shout out to wolf359 for being one of my favourite things ever
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
random wolf 359 moments i think about a lot
(very possible spoilers below so keep scrolling if you haven’t listened to this audio drama yet)
hilbert loving pecan pie so much that he agrees to help eiffel turn spam into turkey for thanksgiving dinner
jacobi casually dropping that he “likes the men folk” during a high stakes situation
questions only
maxwell’s restraining order on her family
minkowski canonically loving musicals
eiffel finding it borderline impossible to not speak exclusively in pop culture references
lovelace telling dumb jokes to keep a bomb linked to her heartbeat from going off
jacobi’s anatidaephobia (a fear of ducks)
jacobi and maxwell both hating parties and coming up with ridiculous excuses to not attend a christmas party
everything about “no complaints”
chai lattes
the empty man
box 953 and all the weird shit it does in the special episode, “change of mind”
“change of mind” in general
“memoria” in general
i'd love to add on to this list. everybody please share their favorite wolf 359 moments
My wolf 359 unpopular hill that I'll die on (unpopularly) is that Kepler is really really boring. Not even as a narrative presence but as like. A guy. He just does not have that much going on. He's there to make a point about the banality of evil. He talks a big game about some nebulous 'bigger picture' that, it turns out, he can't elaborate on because his own superiors haven't deigned to share it with him. All he can really do is parrot his bigger, eviler boss, and parrot him badly, with none of the all encompassing contingency planning that lets Cutter get away with what he does. He doesn't know how to rally from defeat, he can't accurately predict any of his people, and he is deeply fear motivated. AND he's horribly insecure about it! He is neither fearless nor interesting and he NEEDS, more than anything, for people to think he is both. Jacobi fell for it. Maxwell may or may not have, I'm not really sure. The whole Hephaestus crew did, for at least a little while, because he was in their faces being scary, but crucially, they then proceeded to see through it. More than anything else, Warren Kepler is a middle manager who wants to feel important, and gets a lot of people hurt or killed as a result
So insane about the platonic relationships in wolf 359. The way the character writing is so strong they don’t need to rely on romance to make any connection convincing, compelling, and above all else fucked up and codependent.
The way Eiffel and Minkowski just Get each other, regardless of their previous hatred of each other. We go from Minkowski hating Eiffel’s guts (valid) to them truly needing each other. With them being the only two they can rely on in deep space, it makes such a compelling narrative that has you questioning whether they would even be friends in any other universe. The way their stories work, they could even be your classic enemies to lovers (looking past some marriages and how their characters just. Aren’t.) but wolf 359 shows us that they don’t need that relationship status to have one of the most compelling and delightfully codependent friendships in the podcast. We get Hera squeeling over them calling each other “friends” for the first time, (same, hera, same), narratively treating them with the same level of respect as you would a romantic pairing.
Maxwell and Jacobi hit this similar beat for me, they have no romantic tension but have grown this reliance and deep trust in each other. The scene where Maxwell slaps Jacobi what has to be like 7 times in a row and cusses him out for flaking on her before they dissolve into giggles really defines their relationship to me. They’re horrible people. They know it. They’re monsters. Together. And besties yay! In other media their relationship may take a backseat, and while theirs isn’t the forefront it’s certainly never minimized in impact on their individual characters. These two go together, need each other. (They’re a set do not separate)
I’d even extend this to commonly headcanoned romantic duos like Kepler/jacobi and Hera/eiffel. The podcast doesn’t rely on romance, even if there’s implication, but gives us the strongest damned character relationships. The best possible use of characters in each others own and intertwined stories. The bone chillingly good codependency that can only be built by truly Knowing a person, even the horrible bits. Even liking the horrible bits. If this isn’t peak fucking over relationship anarchy I don’t know what is.
I always liked this exchange
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i hope they all stay friends forever and move into one big house together and eat a big dinner every day
Warren Kepler did not take up as much space in my mind until @dodgylogic introduced me to the idea of him with large titties, muscles and a military uniform. He has not left since.
i just finished wolf359, and omg. these characters. wow. just. wow
